Feb. 6, 2023

Get Yourself Together!

Get Yourself Together!

We continue the subject we talk about frequently, which is emotional currency and the ability to pick how we choose to spend this. How much do we want to invest? Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in an emotion that we forget that we're investing in all this life-sucking stuff. But when we do, and we say "zero," it's FABULOUS because we feel free, because we are free. We're energized.  the fact that when we spend emotional currency like this, not only does it leave room for beauty in our lives, but in that moment and that realization of," I passed through it and that's kind of saying it's over. I refuse to invest anymore,"our life force comes back because we've gathered ourselves. The different parts of ourselves that were scattered in different directions outside of ourselves because we leaked our vital life force are now restored. We have pulled ourselves back together. Now we have the capacity that is able to make good friends and to BE a good friend. 
#GetYourselfTogether #HowToBounceBackFromABreakup  #RealizeYourOwnPowerWhen we're upset, we're leaking "currency."  When we pull ourselves together, we pull all of humanity together, with compassion and peaceful understanding. Support our podcast by telling others and leaving a review. Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook "The Ikigai of Friendship" here:
https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/
THANK YOU with LOVE!

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Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt

We continue the subject we talk about frequently, which is emotional currency and the ability to pick how we choose to spend this.

How much do we want to invest? Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in an emotion that we forget that we're investing in all this life-sucking stuff. But when we do, and we say "zero," it's FABULOUS because we feel free, because we are free. We're energized.

 the fact that when we spend emotional currency like this, not only does it leave room for beauty in our lives, but in
that moment and that realization of," I passed through it and that's kind of saying it's over. I refuse to invest anymore,"our life force comes back because we've gathered ourselves. The different parts of ourselves that were scattered in different directions outside of ourselves because we leaked our vital life force are now restored. We have pulled ourselves back together. Now we have the capacity that is able to make good friends and to BE a good friend.
 

#GetYourselfTogether #HowToBounceBackFromABreakup  #RealizeYourOwnPower

When we're upset, we're leaking "currency."  When we pull ourselves together, we pull all of humanity together, with compassion and peaceful understanding.


Support our podcast by telling others and leaving a review. Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook "The Ikigai of Friendship" here:

https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/

THANK YOU with LOVE!

 

Get it Together, Get a Hold of Yourself , Capacity Revisited Podcast - TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back everybody. Hello?

[00:00:02] Matt: Hello.

[00:00:03] Fawn: Hello, world.

[00:00:04] Matt: Oh dear.

[00:00:04] Fawn: Hello everyone. Thank you for tuning in. Matt and I got into a discussion the other day.

[00:00:10] Matt: Discussion.

[00:00:12] Fawn: love is winning . And so Matt decided that we should argue with ourselves. And a while ago, long time ago, we were talking about currency, all kinds of currency within friendships, within relationships, just all of life.

[00:00:30] Matt: You started talking about emotional currency, which you know, you need to pick how you choose to spend this.

[00:00:36] Fawn: This came from Caroline Myss a long time ago, and she was describing it as you wake up, let's say you wake up with a hundred dollars and every time you get upset with someone, Or your energy gets focused on a particular thing.

[00:00:53] Fawn: For example, someone cuts you off on the road and every time you think about that, in instance, that particular event or that particular person, and you get mad about it, you lose currency every time. When I heard her say this a long time ago, it totally made sense to me. And back then I was also getting over a cheating boyfriend fiance.

[00:01:21] Matt: Not me, folks.

[00:01:22] Fawn: It was not Matt . And when I heard her say this, it totally made sense. I'm like, yeah. And I saw myself at a boardroom and I thought, okay, everybody, and I'm the head of it, how much do we wanna invest in this person? How much do we wanna invest in this particular. Situation,

[00:01:44] Matt: how much do I want to invest in feeling this way?

[00:01:47] Fawn: Because every time that person came up, every time I had like a whole chemical reaction in my body. Like I would get so upset and you can use this example for anything that makes you upset. And I thought to myself, I imagined being a boardroom director and also a judge with a gavel and I made the decision, zero, no more investments cut,

[00:02:13] Matt: cut off.

[00:02:14] Fawn: Yeah. That really helped me. And so ever, and this was years ago and ever since then, that's how I live. I'm like, if, if I'm witty enough or in tuned enough with myself to say whoa. How much do you want to invest? Because sometimes you can just get so wrapped up in an emotion that you just forget that you're investing all this.

[00:02:39] Matt: Right

[00:02:39] Fawn: you forget to ask yourself, how much do you want to invest? You want to continue investing in this? But when you do and you say zero, it really is fabulous. It's immediately, you shift to something else,

[00:02:55] Matt: it's fabulous.

[00:02:56] Fawn: It is because you feel free.

[00:02:57] Matt: It is absolutely.

[00:02:58] Fawn: You're free and energized.

[00:03:00] Matt: Right

[00:03:01] Fawn: and so we were talking about the fact that when you spend emotional currency like this,

[00:03:07] Matt: right,

[00:03:08] Fawn: that it doesn't leave room for other things in your life that Yes.

[00:03:12] Matt: The good things. So that was the thing. And then Matt decided, you know what? I'm gonna argue against this. And you said what? You said that there's actually infinite currency out there, and I totally agree with you. There is infinite currency. You don't wake up with only a hundred you don't wake up with a certain amount, like a unit of energy, right

[00:03:35] Fawn: you are. We are all supernatural beings. We have the ability to be infinite in so many ways. Mm. So tell our friends what you were saying, the argument you had with yourself and then with me, .

[00:03:50] Matt: Okay. Okay. Well, scientists are, are studying willpower, not emotional currency, but it's, it's somehow linked.

[00:03:58] Matt: And they're talking about how depending on mindset, you may or may not be spending your willpower currency, which is again, subtly different that there, there is a way to shift your mind, shift your focus, and start thinking about willpower as being truly an infinite resource instead of being a battery that keeps getting depleted.

[00:04:23] Fawn: Okay? And I said, well, yes, because if you tune into a higher power, if you get centered with whatever you wanna call it, the universe, your inner self, your higher self, God, whatever you choose to label it, if you're operating from that, if you're grounded in that, yes, it's infinite power. However, when you're, when you're thinking of the jerk that yelled at you, that cut you off on the road or a thief that took off with your stuff, it's a baseline emotion.

[00:05:01] Matt: Yes, very much

[00:05:02] Fawn: so. I'm not in my supernatural spirit power when I'm thinking about that. Cuz I'm thinking from a scarcity point, I'm thinking from a fear-based point. Right? And I think at that stage, you don't have infinite power. So what do you have to say about that ?

[00:05:20] Matt: Okay. Okay. Okay, so again, we're talking about, willpower. We're talking about there's a chocolate bar sitting in the fridge and oh my goodness, I shouldn't eat it, but I want it, but I shouldn't eat it, but I want it. And going through the cavortations of dealing with that over the course of a day, or, you know, constantly be being, you know, wanting to do something , and continually denying yourself from doing it.

[00:05:48] Matt: Okay. So that's what we're really talking about here as far as willpower goes. . So I think, when we accumulate these temptations, when we have so many coming at us all day every day, I do think most people would say it feels more difficult. Things get more difficult as the day progresses.

[00:06:05] Matt: You know, I really want to, relieve some of these temptations. I want either them to get out of my life or I wanna succumb to them. , right?

[00:06:14] Fawn: I don't know. I never thought about it like that. I don't really go through life with temptation. If I like something, I do it. I don't know. Are you faced with a bunch of temptations, Matt? We

[00:06:27] Matt: have chocolate in the house. My God, it's everywhere. . It's not everywhere, but Oh my goodness.

[00:06:34] Fawn: No, but I mean, do you go through life thinking? I have to deprive myself like I'm tempted, so I can't, I, I don't know. I never think about it like that.

[00:06:44] Matt: Well, it's like, I'm like Augustus Gloop sometimes from,

[00:06:48] Matt: I

[00:06:48] Fawn: don't know who that is

[00:06:49] Matt: from. Um, Willy Wonka, the Chocolate factory. Oh, right. You know, the little, the little German boy who loves

[00:06:53] Matt: chocolate

[00:06:53] Fawn: guys. Here's what I have to do. So we like baking. I think you all know that we bake, we we're major chefs over.

[00:07:03] Fawn: So there is a jar of chocolate that is meant for baking. And Matt, if he sees it, we have to hide it.

[00:07:12] Matt: But's a lovely chocolate.

[00:07:13] Fawn: We have to hide it because when we go to bake a chocolate cake, It has mysteriously, there's like one or three little nuggets left in this big jar that used to be a big jar of chocolate

[00:07:26] Fawn: And so this happened years ago when we lived on Bainbridge Island and there were a bunch of raccoons around our house, and there was one raccoon in particular that was so weird, like

[00:07:40] Matt: Rocky,

[00:07:42] Fawn: unbelievable. This raccoon was out of a cartoon . He would mess with us and laugh at us this raccoon, it was, it was nuts.

[00:07:51] Fawn: Like he would show us his butt. He would do something like, what did he do? Matt . That was really funny. One day like, He was getting into something and we're like, Hey, get out of there. And he looked at us like, oh yeah. And then he showed us his butt, like on purpose, turned around lifted his butt and flashed us, like mooned us .

[00:08:11] Fawn: And then he went back to what he was doing. We're like, oh, my son of a biscuit. What the, the, what is going on? And. Why, and it was broad daylight too, right?

[00:08:23] Fawn: And

[00:08:23] Matt: And what do you do in that case when you know, literally they're like, whatever.

[00:08:26] Fawn: So anyway, so what I did was I didn't wanna accuse Matt of stealing the chocolate because back then the kids weren't born yet.

[00:08:34] Fawn: So it was just Matt and . It was just Matt. And so I started to write notes around any chocolate jar meant for baking. And I said, dear Rocky, This is meant for baking chocolate cake. Please don't.

[00:08:53] Matt: But that, that raccoon, he'd get into it. I, I, I don't know. I don't know how he got in the house, but,

[00:08:59] Fawn: but I really meant Matt. Cause I knew Matt .

[00:09:02] Matt: Oh, I'm offended.

[00:09:04] Fawn: Anyway, so anyway, back to. Back to temptation. So do you think most people go through life tempted all, all day? Not

[00:09:12] Matt: all day, but I think that there are even kind of temptations people, you know, pass through.

[00:09:18] Matt: I mean, for me, I think it's primarily more food-based than anything, to be honest. But I remember, I, I would drive to work and I'd be like, should I stop and get coffee? Should I, should I, you know, it's like these little thoughts go rattling through your. .

[00:09:33] Fawn: That's weird. I don't know if I'm in denial, but I, I wanna say I, I'm not, I don't live by temptation.

[00:09:39] Fawn: Right. I don't know. Right. I, it, it's not in my, it's not in my, uh, it's not in my sphere, you know?

[00:09:47] Matt: Exactly. Exactly. Which is one of the things that makes it very difficult to talk about this subject. Right. Okay, so go on. So, so, so there's, there's, I guess our initial question is, temptation, willpower, , or let's talk about, you know, the other side of it.

[00:10:01] Matt: Like, I gotta buckle down and I have to, when I was in school, I have to write a report and I have to get this report done. If I get it done now it's like three weeks before it's due. Why procrastinate? Why not just get it done. . Right. I think that's, I another kind of thought that people have and they go through, because I remember I had one particular quarter in school where I was like, uhoh, , I'm in trouble here in college and I better buckle down and fly right otherwise, bad things are going to happen. So , I hit what was much closer to, I suppose, my full potential. , you know, I took school a hundred percent. It, it was my number one. Okay. And everything else was my number two.

[00:10:40] Fawn: So what's your point?

[00:10:42] Fawn: I'm,

[00:10:42] Matt: I'm saying is if you have in your head that willpower is like a battery and willpower gets depleted over the course of a day and you need to do something to recharge yourself. or go to the spa or whatever it is. Okay. Yeah. That is one mindset, but there is another mindset, but

[00:11:05] Fawn: Okay. Can just, why are you choosing the word willpower, though?

[00:11:09] Fawn: I don't, I think that's what's bothering me. I don't get it. I don't, I don't get what that has to do with energetic wellbeing. Can you use another word for it? I think that's what's tripping me.

[00:11:21] Matt: We could call it mental exhaustion if you'd rather, yeah. Okay. We

[00:11:24] Fawn: can talk about, cause I can relate to that.

[00:11:26] Matt: Okay.

[00:11:26] Matt: We can

[00:11:27] Fawn: talk mental exhaustion. That's fine. Yeah. I can talk about mental exhaustion all day. Okay. . .

[00:11:34] Matt: Even though I'm exhausted, I can talk about it all day. ,

[00:11:37] Fawn: well nevermind. Go ahead. .

[00:11:39] Matt: The other, the other kind of mindset that scientists have actually discovered. They found people who have this mindset or, um, what.

[00:11:49] Matt: I'm about to describe the mindset. Oh, okay. . Sorry, go ahead.

[00:11:53] Fawn: Oh my goodness. I'm sorry guys. I'm, I didn't sleep well. Go ahead.

[00:12:01] Matt: At least she's laughing folks. So if you've just gone through an emotionally draining event, what should be an emotionally draining event? There is a mindset that says that you can feel like, oh my God, I just overcame this emotionally draining event. What if, what if you didn't strengthened by that I have a new resolve and I can stand strong against new things that would be out there that would wish to exhaust me.

[00:12:32] Fawn: So when your, when your heart has been broken, you can say, I made it. I'm stronger instead of I choose to not open up ever again. . Yeah, exactly. Like I made it

[00:12:46] Matt: through, but that's making it through. That's again, that to me, like emotional, like that, that kind of emotional breakup or that kind of stuff, that's a whole process and you need to like move through and past it.

[00:12:59] Matt: To me, that takes an interesting amount of time

[00:13:02] Fawn: and effort. Well, you know, a few episodes back we talked. , the breakup we've talked about. Mm-hmm. , various different ways of breakups. Breaking up in a friendship is just as painful as a romantic break it can be for sure. And I wanna say it happens more often than meeting the love of your life and you've broken up.

[00:13:26] Matt: Right, and And I would agree. I'm saying cause, but I would, I would also say that, you know, it's almost like to, in order to discuss this properly, you need to start thinking through the whole aspect of, you know, . I've been on both sides of a breakup. I've broken up with people and I've been broken up with and caught completely flatfooted.

[00:13:46] Matt: So if we talk about when you make the decision to break up with somebody, it's that it's at that moment because that's the moment where you're like, okay, I'm making this decision. You're cut off. I'm not spending anymore emotional currency on you. Whatever it is. , like you're cut off.

[00:14:03] Matt: It's that moment and it's that realization of, I passed through it

[00:14:09] Fawn: and that's kind of saying it's over. I refuse to invest anymore. Right. And as soon as you come to that realization, that's when you feel a charge. Yes. Like your life force comes

[00:14:19] Matt: back. Exactly. You feel a charge right there. Exactly.

[00:14:23] Matt: Because you have passed through it. Now, of course, because that happens on the other

[00:14:27] Fawn: side too, because you've gathered yourself, right? It's in pieces of yourself, keep going out in different directions. And that's Yes, and that's the key. So when you stop it immediately, you are restored. Right.

[00:14:39] Matt: And for me, there's always this inherent, and scientists discover this too, but there's this inherent moment of clarity because I've now had the opportunity to

[00:14:51] Matt: think on it to remember the pros, the cons, and the indifference about it. So I get to the high place from it because that gives me an opportunity to perform my own introspection, which is again, the key behind this willpower, emotional exhaustion and the whole bit. It's actually, the, the important part for me anyways is focusing on the history of it and then pushing past.

[00:15:21] Fawn: Have you noticed that when that happens, the person always feels it and then they try to amend, right? Yeah. What, what can, and you haven't said, what can I do? But you haven't said a word. You haven't even been there physically. Mm-hmm. , like they sense it even if they, they have not seen you. Heard from you.

[00:15:43] Fawn: They sense that. Isn't that interesting? It is. Well, another example,

[00:15:46] Matt: people are more connected than they're willing to admit.

[00:15:48] Fawn: Exactly. I I was just gonna say another example of interconnectedness. Another example, how we are so beautifully intertwined and interlaced that we do pick up on each other. Period.

[00:16:04] Fawn: right? I was gonna say, we do pick up on each other's emotions, everything. So if you think whatever happens on the other side of the world, people who think, oh, that's the other side of the world. It doesn't affect me, or That's that group. It doesn't affect me. It does. It totally does.

[00:16:22] Matt: It totally does.

[00:16:23] Fawn: You may not you, you guys, but like people who think that, think that it doesn't affect them, but I think that their heart is closed,

[00:16:34] Fawn: emotional heart is so closed in so many ways. . They're not aware of things. They're not aware of feelings. It's like a person who's not totally in tune with their body and when there's pain, when the body is trying to tell them something, they don't even hear it. They don't sense it. You know what I'm saying?

[00:16:57] Fawn: They're desensitized, is what I'm trying to say. So they don't see how this group over here, they may think has nothing to do with them. It has everything to do with them. If one person hurts over here, it is affecting everybody. Anyway, so Go ahead Matt. , I just wanted to, I'm sorry. It's just the other night I was part of my writing group and they brought up this book called Seen and Unseen, and it's about the, um, it's a children's book actually.

[00:17:30] Fawn: But it's about the Japanese internment camp, right? And the author of the book was, uh, is or she or her godmother was Dorothy Lang, one of my favorite photographers. You guys, I'm sure you've seen her pictures if you're not into photography. She did all the like the most. I wanna say beautiful. Uh, beautiful but

[00:17:58] Matt: tragic.

[00:17:58] Matt: Beautiful. Timeless, yeah. Dust bowl farmers,

[00:18:02] Fawn: right? During the depression, so you've seen pictures, um, of the Dust Bowl era. It's pretty much probably Dorothy Lang. Anyway, so that was her godmother. She used three photographers in this. To portray what happened in the internment camps. Right? And she chose Ansel Adams, Dorothy Lang, oh, I'm, I'm forgetting the most important one, the mo, the most important photographer who was Japanese.

[00:18:32] Fawn: And so basically it showed, seen and unseen. Dorothy Lang photographed a whole bunch of stuff, and most of her, I don't know about most, but a lot of images that she took. Taken, disqualified not to be seen by the powers that be because

[00:18:51] Matt: they were potentially embarrassing.

[00:18:55] Fawn: They, yeah. They didn't want you to know about what was happening.

[00:18:59] Fawn: And she photographed before the internment camps started to come about, like she saw it coming. Mm-hmm. . And she was trying to warn people and one of her friends was Ansel Adams. and I, I heard this quote about her saying about Angela Adams, you know, he's my friend, but he just doesn't get it.

[00:19:22] Matt: Right.

[00:19:22] Fawn: And she was talking about what was happening with the internment camps and what had happened.

[00:19:28] Fawn: And so she photographed it before and during, and then Ansel Adam's photographed it towards the end and he photographed the internment camps in a way that was like a gap ad. , it looked like everybody was having fun. Everybody was smiling, you know, playing ball. It, it was weird. It was, you know, like, it just made me think lesser of Ansel Adams.

[00:19:57] Fawn: Right. Well, and then, do you know what I'm saying? Like, they don't get it. They don't get it. But, and then the, the Japanese photographer obviously, like he went into the camp. Mm-hmm. , he was taken into the camp and he managed to take a lense and a and a negative holder and figured out a way to make a makeshift camera.

[00:20:18] Fawn: And he photographed what was happening on the inside. Right. Which no one was allowed to photograph. Right. So anyway, I'm sorry. Why am I bringing this up? I got all upset, . I know you did what you said. People who don't get it, people who don't get it. Like certain family members, I'm not gonna bring up right now who don't get.

[00:20:37] Fawn: Who don't, who think that this group, whatever group it is, it's like they're not even human. Do you know what I'm saying? They dehumanize people. Right. But I'm saying that they actually feel all these people at the same time and they're not aware of it, and it's eating them up. Am I, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not articulating myself while I'm today you are.

[00:21:03] Matt: Unfortunately, I can't bring us back to center on this one, which is the unfortunate part.

[00:21:07] Fawn: It's okay. Go back to what you were saying. Sorry, Matt. Oh dear. This is all the stuff that's on my mind and when I don't sleep, I, uh, I tend to go off on tangent. Sorry guys. Okay. Go back. So we were talking about energy and we were talking about.

[00:21:24] Matt: Retrospection is very important, but you have to be at a point where you can do that retrospection. That's one way that you fuel your everything, your emotional currency, your willpower, your everything. . That's how you maybe build if, if you can't let go of the whole battery thought. Cuz it's very compelling cuz there are those days you just feel run down.

[00:21:51] Matt: It feels like you started with a full charge and it just went down that day.

[00:21:56] Fawn: Oh yeah. It could happen in an instant, it could be fully charged within. Something will just get you, we'll

[00:22:02] Matt: just get ya. Yeah. Yeah. So in this way, as far as retrospection is, you're just trying to get a bigger battery. You're trying to.

[00:22:12] Matt: Bigger battery, and it's the thinking of the things you've overcome, the things that you have done that help you with your endurance, your emotional kind of endurance, if you will, which is a very, very hard thing to do in the moment. I know.

[00:22:27] Fawn: Well, you know, as long as I'm made aware of it, I can snap myself out of it rather quickly.

[00:22:35] Fawn: You go deep and wallow in it. You swim and bathe in it like it's a bubble bath.

[00:22:40] Matt: It's so warm.

[00:22:41] Fawn: Oh my God. ,

[00:22:42] Matt: it's

[00:22:42] Matt: warm in here.

[00:22:43] Fawn: So when you, when you get upset, Matt?

[00:22:46] Matt: Yes.

[00:22:47] Fawn: Oh my God.

[00:22:47] Matt: Sometimes when I do.

[00:22:49] Fawn: Wow. Wow. You just wallow in it sometimes. and it's, I was gonna say, Matt, what do you do? I'm like, you know what? You guys don't wanna know what Matt does.

[00:23:00] Fawn: I No, no. There's a process, but I'll tell you what I do. There is a process for Matt, but my goodness, it's just too long. It's like a long three hour movie that should be just be an hour and a half .

[00:23:15] Matt: But I'm a big fan of Akira Kurosawa

[00:23:17] Fawn: he, I was gonna bring that up. Either ,

[00:23:19] Fawn: that is totally it. But you know me, I'm just like, let's just get, get to the good stuff.

[00:23:27] Fawn: I have

[00:23:27] Matt: things to do edited for television. I don I don't wanna feel bad.

[00:23:30] Fawn: That's, that's your movies. I feel bad too much. So please. So I'm like, let me get outta here. So that's my famous phrase. I gotta get outta here. I gotta get outta here in one way or another. Like if it's a situation, I gotta get outta here, right?

[00:23:42] Fawn: I'm sorry, I'm just gonna remove myself. So you can do that or you will, you still have to get outta there to go meditate somewhere quiet. Just, you know, meditate doesn't have to be, you sit in a lotus position and all that. It could be just sit somewhere and connect right with your power. Anyway, so let's move on

[00:24:04] Matt: So let's move on. So I think, I think you phrased it just eloquently right there. So let's move on. Let's figure out how you can remove yourself from a given situation of emotional turmoil and take a step back and think it through. And then remember who you are. Remember your power, feel your inner Popeye and feel

[00:24:26] Fawn: the strength from there.

[00:24:29] Fawn: Remind new listeners what inner Popeye is.

[00:24:32] Matt: So inner Popeye. Popeye is this guy, he's a cartoon character. And you know what? With Popeye, I am what I am, that's his saying. And you know what you. He is so self-aware. He knows exactly who he is, exactly where he's going. He understands his motivations completely.

[00:24:50] Matt: He is completely self-aware. Inner Popeye is when you reach that kind of condition within yourself.

[00:24:57] Fawn: You don't care what other people think of you. You are just going to be you. You're not apologetic about. Who you are. Oh, but having said that, I think of certain leaders that are never apologizing for this stuff, it's not about that.

[00:25:12] Fawn: It's not about doing harm and being unapologetic. It's about he has really big forearms. So what , you know what I'm saying? He's not gonna try to slim down his forearms. He has big, like ridiculous forearms, you know? He's un unapologetic about it. That's, that's him. Yes. Um, you know, another example that you bring up all the time regarding this is, O Sensei the founder of Aikido, right?

[00:25:47] Fawn: And you say, like, whenever we talk about something or when I, when I'm stuck on something or I don't wanna hurt someone's feelings, or I'm dealing with a difficult friendship or different situation, you know. , you say something about the mat, like you gotta keep walking on the mat. You say something like that.

[00:26:05] Fawn: What do you say? Okay,

[00:26:06] Matt: so famous demonstration. He's a frail old man and he was, this is , he was this great, et cetera, et cetera. I saw him as a warrior when he was younger, but when he got older he, his mind, his mind shifted. And there's a famous demonstration that he walks from one corner , of a mat to the other corner.

[00:26:26] Matt: So it's kind of this square mat he walks from one. In the interim, 20 different guys tried to, stop him and he just didn't let him. Right? So he moved where he had to move. He did what he had to do and he made it to the end. He made it to the other edge

[00:26:42] Fawn: and it, it just cracks me up because that's how I got into Aikido and that's what made me stop wanting to get into Aikido.

[00:26:49] Matt: Cause I would see these demonstrations of him doing. And it looked so fake. It looks so fake. It looks cartoonishly ridiculous because here's this very skinny ti, tiny little man . He looks like he's frail. He's definitely not. And he's walking. And all these big burly guys that look like they're seven feet tall are charging at him, and it looks like he's just lifting his little pinky or his index finger, and these guys are suddenly flying across the.

[00:27:21] Matt: Sorry, that was me flying , but you know what I mean. They were flying across the room and I'm like, that is the most set up artificial thing I've ever seen. Right. I'm not gonna study that. When my martial artist friends were like, you should study Aikido. I'm like, no , that's a,

[00:27:42] Matt: that's a baby er. That

[00:27:44] Fawn: is some fake

[00:27:45] Fawn: Uh, no thank you. And then when I experienced it for myself, right, I was like, whoa, this is legit . This is legitimate and it's energetic and yeah, it's fascinating. Yes. What happens when you're actually physically in that situation and a black belt is working with. and you experience that energy and that, that flying sensation

[00:28:13] Fawn: Exactly. Um, but yeah, it always cracks me up when I'm in a difficult situation. And you say there's this phrase that you use though. , you just say, you just gotta, you're crossing the mat. Cross the mat. Don't let anything get in your way, but you have a particular way of saying it that you're not saying right now.

[00:28:30] Fawn: Oh dear. I can't remember. Uh,

[00:28:31] Matt: but

[00:28:31] Fawn: you say, I remember it in the moment. I know don't, but anyway. But that's, that's the gist of it. Would you say sometimes you have to do that, Matt? Or always? I mean, sometimes you have to give and say if a friend is coming, Not an attack, but

[00:28:48] Matt: like, right. But y it's important I think, to step back and just try and take a look at everything around you because, you know, there are certain spots.

[00:28:58] Matt: You know, my kids obviously are, are an incredible emotional blind spot for me. I can't necessarily be objective when it comes to my kids period. much sometimes my wife chagrin. Um, I can. You know, um, but it's, it's important where you can to step back and take a look and remember, and that's one of the things that helps us feel strong.

[00:29:24] Matt: And that's one of the things that helps us do more to manifest our inner Popeye and bring that forward into our day, into our life.

[00:29:33] Fawn: Okay. That's very well, and I don't wanna make this a super long. But when you get into that mood, Matt, yes. What snaps you out of it? Because I said it takes forever.

[00:29:45] Fawn: Sometimes it's a process and you drag everybody else with

[00:29:48] Matt: you. It's a process and it takes time

[00:29:51] Fawn: and Yeah, but what am I supposed to do? I don't wanna be affected by you then don't be, but I am because I love you. I So what do you do? I

[00:29:59] Matt: get emotional blind spot. It's, it's hard.

[00:30:01] Fawn: I don't know what to do. Right?

[00:30:02] Fawn: I, I can't leave you alone. I wanna make things better for. If I leave the room or leave the house, I know you're sitting there moping and or you know, it just makes me feel I'm processing. I know, but it makes me feel terrible. I feel scared. I feel like I know baby. I'm Is he okay? Is he, is it going to turn into a physical ailment?

[00:30:22] Fawn: Cuz he's so upset. You know what I'm saying? Yes. So any solutions there, Matt? He's just staring at me. ,

[00:30:31] Matt: tell me you love me and. . That's

[00:30:33] Fawn: about all do I can say. What do you mean? Tell you I love you. And then go out. Yes, go outside. Leave you alone maybe. Really? Yeah. But what if I'm stuck in the house with you?

[00:30:43] Fawn: What am I supposed to do then? I just feel bad for

[00:30:45] Matt: you.

[00:30:46] Fawn: I'm sorry. . Oh my god. . Okay, let's move on. from N two next. Oh, did you make the entire point? That's all we had to say.

[00:30:58] Matt: That. . That was the entire, yes. Lower part of my sheet. All right. Okay.

[00:31:06] Fawn: All right then. Alrighty

[00:31:08] Matt: then. .

[00:31:11] Fawn: So infinite or non

[00:31:12] Matt: infinite? It depends on your point of view.

[00:31:16] Matt: Make it more infinite. That would be what I would say.

[00:31:19] Fawn: So when, when things go awry. Gather your power, gather yourself, gather your power. Get yourself together. Yourself. Exactly. Oh my God. Okay. Get yourself together. Right

[00:31:30] Matt: and right. How do you bounce back from breakup?

[00:31:34] Fawn: But you know what? Realize your power turn.

[00:31:36] Fawn: Look at that. Get yourself together. When you are upset, you are leaking currency. Yes. From your physical body. Yes. Sometimes. And when you focus, you gather yourself, right? You're getting yourself together, right? So get your spiritual, physical, emotional body in the same space, in the same center, and connect to your beautiful, powerful point.

[00:32:08] Fawn: and that is getting yourself together. Get yourself together, . Get it together, folks. , can I tell you that next time you're in a wallow, can I say get it together, Matt? Then you get No. You know what? There's no talking to you. You get is mad. There's no talking to me. Matt will get upset for I can't say anything.

[00:32:29] Fawn: You

[00:32:29] Matt: know what? Next time just make me cookies.

[00:32:32] Fawn: You know, even that doesn't work. I've tried chocolate milk, , .

[00:32:41] Matt: Then just let me be a little spoiled child

[00:32:44] Fawn: for a minute. Oh, can I ask you to leave ?

[00:32:47] Matt: Oh dear. You know, I'd love to say yes and I would have the emotional maturity to deal with it, but there

[00:32:56] Fawn: are those moments.

[00:32:57] Fawn: No, I don't wanna, I don't want to. The worlds to never. It's big. Probably safer for you at home, . It probably is. So I should leave. Okay. All right everybody. Thanks for listening. Love you. Love is winning. Oh dear. Love is winning. Talk to you later. Be well everyone. so.

Transcript

Get it Together, Get a Hold of Yourself , Capacity Revisited Podcast - TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back everybody. Hello?

[00:00:02] Matt: Hello.

[00:00:03] Fawn: Hello, world.

[00:00:04] Matt: Oh dear.

[00:00:04] Fawn: Hello everyone. Thank you for tuning in. Matt and I got into a discussion the other day.

[00:00:10] Matt: Discussion.

[00:00:12] Fawn: love is winning . And so Matt decided that we should argue with ourselves. And a while ago, long time ago, we were talking about currency, all kinds of currency within friendships, within relationships, just all of life.

[00:00:30] Matt: You started talking about emotional currency, which you know, you need to pick how you choose to spend this.

[00:00:36] Fawn: This came from Caroline Myss a long time ago, and she was describing it as you wake up, let's say you wake up with a hundred dollars and every time you get upset with someone, Or your energy gets focused on a particular thing.

[00:00:53] Fawn: For example, someone cuts you off on the road and every time you think about that, in instance, that particular event or that particular person, and you get mad about it, you lose currency every time. When I heard her say this a long time ago, it totally made sense to me. And back then I was also getting over a cheating boyfriend fiance.

[00:01:21] Matt: Not me, folks.

[00:01:22] Fawn: It was not Matt . And when I heard her say this, it totally made sense. I'm like, yeah. And I saw myself at a boardroom and I thought, okay, everybody, and I'm the head of it, how much do we wanna invest in this person? How much do we wanna invest in this particular. Situation,

[00:01:44] Matt: how much do I want to invest in feeling this way?

[00:01:47] Fawn: Because every time that person came up, every time I had like a whole chemical reaction in my body. Like I would get so upset and you can use this example for anything that makes you upset. And I thought to myself, I imagined being a boardroom director and also a judge with a gavel and I made the decision, zero, no more investments cut,

[00:02:13] Matt: cut off.

[00:02:14] Fawn: Yeah. That really helped me. And so ever, and this was years ago and ever since then, that's how I live. I'm like, if, if I'm witty enough or in tuned enough with myself to say whoa. How much do you want to invest? Because sometimes you can just get so wrapped up in an emotion that you just forget that you're investing all this.

[00:02:39] Matt: Right

[00:02:39] Fawn: you forget to ask yourself, how much do you want to invest? You want to continue investing in this? But when you do and you say zero, it really is fabulous. It's immediately, you shift to something else,

[00:02:55] Matt: it's fabulous.

[00:02:56] Fawn: It is because you feel free.

[00:02:57] Matt: It is absolutely.

[00:02:58] Fawn: You're free and energized.

[00:03:00] Matt: Right

[00:03:01] Fawn: and so we were talking about the fact that when you spend emotional currency like this,

[00:03:07] Matt: right,

[00:03:08] Fawn: that it doesn't leave room for other things in your life that Yes.

[00:03:12] Matt: The good things. So that was the thing. And then Matt decided, you know what? I'm gonna argue against this. And you said what? You said that there's actually infinite currency out there, and I totally agree with you. There is infinite currency. You don't wake up with only a hundred you don't wake up with a certain amount, like a unit of energy, right

[00:03:35] Fawn: you are. We are all supernatural beings. We have the ability to be infinite in so many ways. Mm. So tell our friends what you were saying, the argument you had with yourself and then with me, .

[00:03:50] Matt: Okay. Okay. Well, scientists are, are studying willpower, not emotional currency, but it's, it's somehow linked.

[00:03:58] Matt: And they're talking about how depending on mindset, you may or may not be spending your willpower currency, which is again, subtly different that there, there is a way to shift your mind, shift your focus, and start thinking about willpower as being truly an infinite resource instead of being a battery that keeps getting depleted.

[00:04:23] Fawn: Okay? And I said, well, yes, because if you tune into a higher power, if you get centered with whatever you wanna call it, the universe, your inner self, your higher self, God, whatever you choose to label it, if you're operating from that, if you're grounded in that, yes, it's infinite power. However, when you're, when you're thinking of the jerk that yelled at you, that cut you off on the road or a thief that took off with your stuff, it's a baseline emotion.

[00:05:01] Matt: Yes, very much

[00:05:02] Fawn: so. I'm not in my supernatural spirit power when I'm thinking about that. Cuz I'm thinking from a scarcity point, I'm thinking from a fear-based point. Right? And I think at that stage, you don't have infinite power. So what do you have to say about that ?

[00:05:20] Matt: Okay. Okay. Okay, so again, we're talking about, willpower. We're talking about there's a chocolate bar sitting in the fridge and oh my goodness, I shouldn't eat it, but I want it, but I shouldn't eat it, but I want it. And going through the cavortations of dealing with that over the course of a day, or, you know, constantly be being, you know, wanting to do something , and continually denying yourself from doing it.

[00:05:48] Matt: Okay. So that's what we're really talking about here as far as willpower goes. . So I think, when we accumulate these temptations, when we have so many coming at us all day every day, I do think most people would say it feels more difficult. Things get more difficult as the day progresses.

[00:06:05] Matt: You know, I really want to, relieve some of these temptations. I want either them to get out of my life or I wanna succumb to them. , right?

[00:06:14] Fawn: I don't know. I never thought about it like that. I don't really go through life with temptation. If I like something, I do it. I don't know. Are you faced with a bunch of temptations, Matt? We

[00:06:27] Matt: have chocolate in the house. My God, it's everywhere. . It's not everywhere, but Oh my goodness.

[00:06:34] Fawn: No, but I mean, do you go through life thinking? I have to deprive myself like I'm tempted, so I can't, I, I don't know. I never think about it like that.

[00:06:44] Matt: Well, it's like, I'm like Augustus Gloop sometimes from,

[00:06:48] Matt: I

[00:06:48] Fawn: don't know who that is

[00:06:49] Matt: from. Um, Willy Wonka, the Chocolate factory. Oh, right. You know, the little, the little German boy who loves

[00:06:53] Matt: chocolate

[00:06:53] Fawn: guys. Here's what I have to do. So we like baking. I think you all know that we bake, we we're major chefs over.

[00:07:03] Fawn: So there is a jar of chocolate that is meant for baking. And Matt, if he sees it, we have to hide it.

[00:07:12] Matt: But's a lovely chocolate.

[00:07:13] Fawn: We have to hide it because when we go to bake a chocolate cake, It has mysteriously, there's like one or three little nuggets left in this big jar that used to be a big jar of chocolate

[00:07:26] Fawn: And so this happened years ago when we lived on Bainbridge Island and there were a bunch of raccoons around our house, and there was one raccoon in particular that was so weird, like

[00:07:40] Matt: Rocky,

[00:07:42] Fawn: unbelievable. This raccoon was out of a cartoon . He would mess with us and laugh at us this raccoon, it was, it was nuts.

[00:07:51] Fawn: Like he would show us his butt. He would do something like, what did he do? Matt . That was really funny. One day like, He was getting into something and we're like, Hey, get out of there. And he looked at us like, oh yeah. And then he showed us his butt, like on purpose, turned around lifted his butt and flashed us, like mooned us .

[00:08:11] Fawn: And then he went back to what he was doing. We're like, oh, my son of a biscuit. What the, the, what is going on? And. Why, and it was broad daylight too, right?

[00:08:23] Fawn: And

[00:08:23] Matt: And what do you do in that case when you know, literally they're like, whatever.

[00:08:26] Fawn: So anyway, so what I did was I didn't wanna accuse Matt of stealing the chocolate because back then the kids weren't born yet.

[00:08:34] Fawn: So it was just Matt and . It was just Matt. And so I started to write notes around any chocolate jar meant for baking. And I said, dear Rocky, This is meant for baking chocolate cake. Please don't.

[00:08:53] Matt: But that, that raccoon, he'd get into it. I, I, I don't know. I don't know how he got in the house, but,

[00:08:59] Fawn: but I really meant Matt. Cause I knew Matt .

[00:09:02] Matt: Oh, I'm offended.

[00:09:04] Fawn: Anyway, so anyway, back to. Back to temptation. So do you think most people go through life tempted all, all day? Not

[00:09:12] Matt: all day, but I think that there are even kind of temptations people, you know, pass through.

[00:09:18] Matt: I mean, for me, I think it's primarily more food-based than anything, to be honest. But I remember, I, I would drive to work and I'd be like, should I stop and get coffee? Should I, should I, you know, it's like these little thoughts go rattling through your. .

[00:09:33] Fawn: That's weird. I don't know if I'm in denial, but I, I wanna say I, I'm not, I don't live by temptation.

[00:09:39] Fawn: Right. I don't know. Right. I, it, it's not in my, it's not in my, uh, it's not in my sphere, you know?

[00:09:47] Matt: Exactly. Exactly. Which is one of the things that makes it very difficult to talk about this subject. Right. Okay, so go on. So, so, so there's, there's, I guess our initial question is, temptation, willpower, , or let's talk about, you know, the other side of it.

[00:10:01] Matt: Like, I gotta buckle down and I have to, when I was in school, I have to write a report and I have to get this report done. If I get it done now it's like three weeks before it's due. Why procrastinate? Why not just get it done. . Right. I think that's, I another kind of thought that people have and they go through, because I remember I had one particular quarter in school where I was like, uhoh, , I'm in trouble here in college and I better buckle down and fly right otherwise, bad things are going to happen. So , I hit what was much closer to, I suppose, my full potential. , you know, I took school a hundred percent. It, it was my number one. Okay. And everything else was my number two.

[00:10:40] Fawn: So what's your point?

[00:10:42] Fawn: I'm,

[00:10:42] Matt: I'm saying is if you have in your head that willpower is like a battery and willpower gets depleted over the course of a day and you need to do something to recharge yourself. or go to the spa or whatever it is. Okay. Yeah. That is one mindset, but there is another mindset, but

[00:11:05] Fawn: Okay. Can just, why are you choosing the word willpower, though?

[00:11:09] Fawn: I don't, I think that's what's bothering me. I don't get it. I don't, I don't get what that has to do with energetic wellbeing. Can you use another word for it? I think that's what's tripping me.

[00:11:21] Matt: We could call it mental exhaustion if you'd rather, yeah. Okay. We

[00:11:24] Fawn: can talk about, cause I can relate to that.

[00:11:26] Matt: Okay.

[00:11:26] Matt: We can

[00:11:27] Fawn: talk mental exhaustion. That's fine. Yeah. I can talk about mental exhaustion all day. Okay. . .

[00:11:34] Matt: Even though I'm exhausted, I can talk about it all day. ,

[00:11:37] Fawn: well nevermind. Go ahead. .

[00:11:39] Matt: The other, the other kind of mindset that scientists have actually discovered. They found people who have this mindset or, um, what.

[00:11:49] Matt: I'm about to describe the mindset. Oh, okay. . Sorry, go ahead.

[00:11:53] Fawn: Oh my goodness. I'm sorry guys. I'm, I didn't sleep well. Go ahead.

[00:12:01] Matt: At least she's laughing folks. So if you've just gone through an emotionally draining event, what should be an emotionally draining event? There is a mindset that says that you can feel like, oh my God, I just overcame this emotionally draining event. What if, what if you didn't strengthened by that I have a new resolve and I can stand strong against new things that would be out there that would wish to exhaust me.

[00:12:32] Fawn: So when your, when your heart has been broken, you can say, I made it. I'm stronger instead of I choose to not open up ever again. . Yeah, exactly. Like I made it

[00:12:46] Matt: through, but that's making it through. That's again, that to me, like emotional, like that, that kind of emotional breakup or that kind of stuff, that's a whole process and you need to like move through and past it.

[00:12:59] Matt: To me, that takes an interesting amount of time

[00:13:02] Fawn: and effort. Well, you know, a few episodes back we talked. , the breakup we've talked about. Mm-hmm. , various different ways of breakups. Breaking up in a friendship is just as painful as a romantic break it can be for sure. And I wanna say it happens more often than meeting the love of your life and you've broken up.

[00:13:26] Matt: Right, and And I would agree. I'm saying cause, but I would, I would also say that, you know, it's almost like to, in order to discuss this properly, you need to start thinking through the whole aspect of, you know, . I've been on both sides of a breakup. I've broken up with people and I've been broken up with and caught completely flatfooted.

[00:13:46] Matt: So if we talk about when you make the decision to break up with somebody, it's that it's at that moment because that's the moment where you're like, okay, I'm making this decision. You're cut off. I'm not spending anymore emotional currency on you. Whatever it is. , like you're cut off.

[00:14:03] Matt: It's that moment and it's that realization of, I passed through it

[00:14:09] Fawn: and that's kind of saying it's over. I refuse to invest anymore. Right. And as soon as you come to that realization, that's when you feel a charge. Yes. Like your life force comes

[00:14:19] Matt: back. Exactly. You feel a charge right there. Exactly.

[00:14:23] Matt: Because you have passed through it. Now, of course, because that happens on the other

[00:14:27] Fawn: side too, because you've gathered yourself, right? It's in pieces of yourself, keep going out in different directions. And that's Yes, and that's the key. So when you stop it immediately, you are restored. Right.

[00:14:39] Matt: And for me, there's always this inherent, and scientists discover this too, but there's this inherent moment of clarity because I've now had the opportunity to

[00:14:51] Matt: think on it to remember the pros, the cons, and the indifference about it. So I get to the high place from it because that gives me an opportunity to perform my own introspection, which is again, the key behind this willpower, emotional exhaustion and the whole bit. It's actually, the, the important part for me anyways is focusing on the history of it and then pushing past.

[00:15:21] Fawn: Have you noticed that when that happens, the person always feels it and then they try to amend, right? Yeah. What, what can, and you haven't said, what can I do? But you haven't said a word. You haven't even been there physically. Mm-hmm. , like they sense it even if they, they have not seen you. Heard from you.

[00:15:43] Fawn: They sense that. Isn't that interesting? It is. Well, another example,

[00:15:46] Matt: people are more connected than they're willing to admit.

[00:15:48] Fawn: Exactly. I I was just gonna say another example of interconnectedness. Another example, how we are so beautifully intertwined and interlaced that we do pick up on each other. Period.

[00:16:04] Fawn: right? I was gonna say, we do pick up on each other's emotions, everything. So if you think whatever happens on the other side of the world, people who think, oh, that's the other side of the world. It doesn't affect me, or That's that group. It doesn't affect me. It does. It totally does.

[00:16:22] Matt: It totally does.

[00:16:23] Fawn: You may not you, you guys, but like people who think that, think that it doesn't affect them, but I think that their heart is closed,

[00:16:34] Fawn: emotional heart is so closed in so many ways. . They're not aware of things. They're not aware of feelings. It's like a person who's not totally in tune with their body and when there's pain, when the body is trying to tell them something, they don't even hear it. They don't sense it. You know what I'm saying?

[00:16:57] Fawn: They're desensitized, is what I'm trying to say. So they don't see how this group over here, they may think has nothing to do with them. It has everything to do with them. If one person hurts over here, it is affecting everybody. Anyway, so Go ahead Matt. , I just wanted to, I'm sorry. It's just the other night I was part of my writing group and they brought up this book called Seen and Unseen, and it's about the, um, it's a children's book actually.

[00:17:30] Fawn: But it's about the Japanese internment camp, right? And the author of the book was, uh, is or she or her godmother was Dorothy Lang, one of my favorite photographers. You guys, I'm sure you've seen her pictures if you're not into photography. She did all the like the most. I wanna say beautiful. Uh, beautiful but

[00:17:58] Matt: tragic.

[00:17:58] Matt: Beautiful. Timeless, yeah. Dust bowl farmers,

[00:18:02] Fawn: right? During the depression, so you've seen pictures, um, of the Dust Bowl era. It's pretty much probably Dorothy Lang. Anyway, so that was her godmother. She used three photographers in this. To portray what happened in the internment camps. Right? And she chose Ansel Adams, Dorothy Lang, oh, I'm, I'm forgetting the most important one, the mo, the most important photographer who was Japanese.

[00:18:32] Fawn: And so basically it showed, seen and unseen. Dorothy Lang photographed a whole bunch of stuff, and most of her, I don't know about most, but a lot of images that she took. Taken, disqualified not to be seen by the powers that be because

[00:18:51] Matt: they were potentially embarrassing.

[00:18:55] Fawn: They, yeah. They didn't want you to know about what was happening.

[00:18:59] Fawn: And she photographed before the internment camps started to come about, like she saw it coming. Mm-hmm. . And she was trying to warn people and one of her friends was Ansel Adams. and I, I heard this quote about her saying about Angela Adams, you know, he's my friend, but he just doesn't get it.

[00:19:22] Matt: Right.

[00:19:22] Fawn: And she was talking about what was happening with the internment camps and what had happened.

[00:19:28] Fawn: And so she photographed it before and during, and then Ansel Adam's photographed it towards the end and he photographed the internment camps in a way that was like a gap ad. , it looked like everybody was having fun. Everybody was smiling, you know, playing ball. It, it was weird. It was, you know, like, it just made me think lesser of Ansel Adams.

[00:19:57] Fawn: Right. Well, and then, do you know what I'm saying? Like, they don't get it. They don't get it. But, and then the, the Japanese photographer obviously, like he went into the camp. Mm-hmm. , he was taken into the camp and he managed to take a lense and a and a negative holder and figured out a way to make a makeshift camera.

[00:20:18] Fawn: And he photographed what was happening on the inside. Right. Which no one was allowed to photograph. Right. So anyway, I'm sorry. Why am I bringing this up? I got all upset, . I know you did what you said. People who don't get it, people who don't get it. Like certain family members, I'm not gonna bring up right now who don't get.

[00:20:37] Fawn: Who don't, who think that this group, whatever group it is, it's like they're not even human. Do you know what I'm saying? They dehumanize people. Right. But I'm saying that they actually feel all these people at the same time and they're not aware of it, and it's eating them up. Am I, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not articulating myself while I'm today you are.

[00:21:03] Matt: Unfortunately, I can't bring us back to center on this one, which is the unfortunate part.

[00:21:07] Fawn: It's okay. Go back to what you were saying. Sorry, Matt. Oh dear. This is all the stuff that's on my mind and when I don't sleep, I, uh, I tend to go off on tangent. Sorry guys. Okay. Go back. So we were talking about energy and we were talking about.

[00:21:24] Matt: Retrospection is very important, but you have to be at a point where you can do that retrospection. That's one way that you fuel your everything, your emotional currency, your willpower, your everything. . That's how you maybe build if, if you can't let go of the whole battery thought. Cuz it's very compelling cuz there are those days you just feel run down.

[00:21:51] Matt: It feels like you started with a full charge and it just went down that day.

[00:21:56] Fawn: Oh yeah. It could happen in an instant, it could be fully charged within. Something will just get you, we'll

[00:22:02] Matt: just get ya. Yeah. Yeah. So in this way, as far as retrospection is, you're just trying to get a bigger battery. You're trying to.

[00:22:12] Matt: Bigger battery, and it's the thinking of the things you've overcome, the things that you have done that help you with your endurance, your emotional kind of endurance, if you will, which is a very, very hard thing to do in the moment. I know.

[00:22:27] Fawn: Well, you know, as long as I'm made aware of it, I can snap myself out of it rather quickly.

[00:22:35] Fawn: You go deep and wallow in it. You swim and bathe in it like it's a bubble bath.

[00:22:40] Matt: It's so warm.

[00:22:41] Fawn: Oh my God. ,

[00:22:42] Matt: it's

[00:22:42] Matt: warm in here.

[00:22:43] Fawn: So when you, when you get upset, Matt?

[00:22:46] Matt: Yes.

[00:22:47] Fawn: Oh my God.

[00:22:47] Matt: Sometimes when I do.

[00:22:49] Fawn: Wow. Wow. You just wallow in it sometimes. and it's, I was gonna say, Matt, what do you do? I'm like, you know what? You guys don't wanna know what Matt does.

[00:23:00] Fawn: I No, no. There's a process, but I'll tell you what I do. There is a process for Matt, but my goodness, it's just too long. It's like a long three hour movie that should be just be an hour and a half .

[00:23:15] Matt: But I'm a big fan of Akira Kurosawa

[00:23:17] Fawn: he, I was gonna bring that up. Either ,

[00:23:19] Fawn: that is totally it. But you know me, I'm just like, let's just get, get to the good stuff.

[00:23:27] Fawn: I have

[00:23:27] Matt: things to do edited for television. I don I don't wanna feel bad.

[00:23:30] Fawn: That's, that's your movies. I feel bad too much. So please. So I'm like, let me get outta here. So that's my famous phrase. I gotta get outta here. I gotta get outta here in one way or another. Like if it's a situation, I gotta get outta here, right?

[00:23:42] Fawn: I'm sorry, I'm just gonna remove myself. So you can do that or you will, you still have to get outta there to go meditate somewhere quiet. Just, you know, meditate doesn't have to be, you sit in a lotus position and all that. It could be just sit somewhere and connect right with your power. Anyway, so let's move on

[00:24:04] Matt: So let's move on. So I think, I think you phrased it just eloquently right there. So let's move on. Let's figure out how you can remove yourself from a given situation of emotional turmoil and take a step back and think it through. And then remember who you are. Remember your power, feel your inner Popeye and feel

[00:24:26] Fawn: the strength from there.

[00:24:29] Fawn: Remind new listeners what inner Popeye is.

[00:24:32] Matt: So inner Popeye. Popeye is this guy, he's a cartoon character. And you know what? With Popeye, I am what I am, that's his saying. And you know what you. He is so self-aware. He knows exactly who he is, exactly where he's going. He understands his motivations completely.

[00:24:50] Matt: He is completely self-aware. Inner Popeye is when you reach that kind of condition within yourself.

[00:24:57] Fawn: You don't care what other people think of you. You are just going to be you. You're not apologetic about. Who you are. Oh, but having said that, I think of certain leaders that are never apologizing for this stuff, it's not about that.

[00:25:12] Fawn: It's not about doing harm and being unapologetic. It's about he has really big forearms. So what , you know what I'm saying? He's not gonna try to slim down his forearms. He has big, like ridiculous forearms, you know? He's un unapologetic about it. That's, that's him. Yes. Um, you know, another example that you bring up all the time regarding this is, O Sensei the founder of Aikido, right?

[00:25:47] Fawn: And you say, like, whenever we talk about something or when I, when I'm stuck on something or I don't wanna hurt someone's feelings, or I'm dealing with a difficult friendship or different situation, you know. , you say something about the mat, like you gotta keep walking on the mat. You say something like that.

[00:26:05] Fawn: What do you say? Okay,

[00:26:06] Matt: so famous demonstration. He's a frail old man and he was, this is , he was this great, et cetera, et cetera. I saw him as a warrior when he was younger, but when he got older he, his mind, his mind shifted. And there's a famous demonstration that he walks from one corner , of a mat to the other corner.

[00:26:26] Matt: So it's kind of this square mat he walks from one. In the interim, 20 different guys tried to, stop him and he just didn't let him. Right? So he moved where he had to move. He did what he had to do and he made it to the end. He made it to the other edge

[00:26:42] Fawn: and it, it just cracks me up because that's how I got into Aikido and that's what made me stop wanting to get into Aikido.

[00:26:49] Matt: Cause I would see these demonstrations of him doing. And it looked so fake. It looks so fake. It looks cartoonishly ridiculous because here's this very skinny ti, tiny little man . He looks like he's frail. He's definitely not. And he's walking. And all these big burly guys that look like they're seven feet tall are charging at him, and it looks like he's just lifting his little pinky or his index finger, and these guys are suddenly flying across the.

[00:27:21] Matt: Sorry, that was me flying , but you know what I mean. They were flying across the room and I'm like, that is the most set up artificial thing I've ever seen. Right. I'm not gonna study that. When my martial artist friends were like, you should study Aikido. I'm like, no , that's a,

[00:27:42] Matt: that's a baby er. That

[00:27:44] Fawn: is some fake

[00:27:45] Fawn: Uh, no thank you. And then when I experienced it for myself, right, I was like, whoa, this is legit . This is legitimate and it's energetic and yeah, it's fascinating. Yes. What happens when you're actually physically in that situation and a black belt is working with. and you experience that energy and that, that flying sensation

[00:28:13] Fawn: Exactly. Um, but yeah, it always cracks me up when I'm in a difficult situation. And you say there's this phrase that you use though. , you just say, you just gotta, you're crossing the mat. Cross the mat. Don't let anything get in your way, but you have a particular way of saying it that you're not saying right now.

[00:28:30] Fawn: Oh dear. I can't remember. Uh,

[00:28:31] Matt: but

[00:28:31] Fawn: you say, I remember it in the moment. I know don't, but anyway. But that's, that's the gist of it. Would you say sometimes you have to do that, Matt? Or always? I mean, sometimes you have to give and say if a friend is coming, Not an attack, but

[00:28:48] Matt: like, right. But y it's important I think, to step back and just try and take a look at everything around you because, you know, there are certain spots.

[00:28:58] Matt: You know, my kids obviously are, are an incredible emotional blind spot for me. I can't necessarily be objective when it comes to my kids period. much sometimes my wife chagrin. Um, I can. You know, um, but it's, it's important where you can to step back and take a look and remember, and that's one of the things that helps us feel strong.

[00:29:24] Matt: And that's one of the things that helps us do more to manifest our inner Popeye and bring that forward into our day, into our life.

[00:29:33] Fawn: Okay. That's very well, and I don't wanna make this a super long. But when you get into that mood, Matt, yes. What snaps you out of it? Because I said it takes forever.

[00:29:45] Fawn: Sometimes it's a process and you drag everybody else with

[00:29:48] Matt: you. It's a process and it takes time

[00:29:51] Fawn: and Yeah, but what am I supposed to do? I don't wanna be affected by you then don't be, but I am because I love you. I So what do you do? I

[00:29:59] Matt: get emotional blind spot. It's, it's hard.

[00:30:01] Fawn: I don't know what to do. Right?

[00:30:02] Fawn: I, I can't leave you alone. I wanna make things better for. If I leave the room or leave the house, I know you're sitting there moping and or you know, it just makes me feel I'm processing. I know, but it makes me feel terrible. I feel scared. I feel like I know baby. I'm Is he okay? Is he, is it going to turn into a physical ailment?

[00:30:22] Fawn: Cuz he's so upset. You know what I'm saying? Yes. So any solutions there, Matt? He's just staring at me. ,

[00:30:31] Matt: tell me you love me and. . That's

[00:30:33] Fawn: about all do I can say. What do you mean? Tell you I love you. And then go out. Yes, go outside. Leave you alone maybe. Really? Yeah. But what if I'm stuck in the house with you?

[00:30:43] Fawn: What am I supposed to do then? I just feel bad for

[00:30:45] Matt: you.

[00:30:46] Fawn: I'm sorry. . Oh my god. . Okay, let's move on. from N two next. Oh, did you make the entire point? That's all we had to say.

[00:30:58] Matt: That. . That was the entire, yes. Lower part of my sheet. All right. Okay.

[00:31:06] Fawn: All right then. Alrighty

[00:31:08] Matt: then. .

[00:31:11] Fawn: So infinite or non

[00:31:12] Matt: infinite? It depends on your point of view.

[00:31:16] Matt: Make it more infinite. That would be what I would say.

[00:31:19] Fawn: So when, when things go awry. Gather your power, gather yourself, gather your power. Get yourself together. Yourself. Exactly. Oh my God. Okay. Get yourself together. Right

[00:31:30] Matt: and right. How do you bounce back from breakup?

[00:31:34] Fawn: But you know what? Realize your power turn.

[00:31:36] Fawn: Look at that. Get yourself together. When you are upset, you are leaking currency. Yes. From your physical body. Yes. Sometimes. And when you focus, you gather yourself, right? You're getting yourself together, right? So get your spiritual, physical, emotional body in the same space, in the same center, and connect to your beautiful, powerful point.

[00:32:08] Fawn: and that is getting yourself together. Get yourself together, . Get it together, folks. , can I tell you that next time you're in a wallow, can I say get it together, Matt? Then you get No. You know what? There's no talking to you. You get is mad. There's no talking to me. Matt will get upset for I can't say anything.

[00:32:29] Fawn: You

[00:32:29] Matt: know what? Next time just make me cookies.

[00:32:32] Fawn: You know, even that doesn't work. I've tried chocolate milk, , .

[00:32:41] Matt: Then just let me be a little spoiled child

[00:32:44] Fawn: for a minute. Oh, can I ask you to leave ?

[00:32:47] Matt: Oh dear. You know, I'd love to say yes and I would have the emotional maturity to deal with it, but there

[00:32:56] Fawn: are those moments.

[00:32:57] Fawn: No, I don't wanna, I don't want to. The worlds to never. It's big. Probably safer for you at home, . It probably is. So I should leave. Okay. All right everybody. Thanks for listening. Love you. Love is winning. Oh dear. Love is winning. Talk to you later. Be well everyone. so.