Sept. 27, 2021

1 Year Celebration

1 Year Celebration

We are celebrating one year of talking about the art of friendship around the world. And today we have with us what I promised on the very first show "The Mentor" that explains this whole podcast; that our girls would be in on the episodes. They have been working behind the scenes and the past year have become introverts (can you blame them, with all that's happened in the world the past 2 years?

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We are celebrating one year of talking about the art of friendship around the world. And today we have with us what I promised on the very first show "The Mentor" that explains this whole podcast; that our girls would be in on the episodes. They have been working behind the scenes and the past year have become introverts (can you blame them, with all that's happened in the world the past 2 years?




Birthday episode - TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Fawn: Here we are everyone. Hello? Hello. Hi everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. We are celebrating one year of talking about goodness, one year of talking on the air around the world. And today we have with us what I promised on my very first show. I say my, because that shows just me talking our very first episode called the mentor that explains this whole podcast. That's what I meant by my show, but I had promised that it would be the family and the girls would be in on the episodes. And what turned out was they were behind the scenes. They didn't want to talk. They became quite antisocial is not the word for it, but they what's a, what's a, what's the word for it?

Introvert. Yeah, but everybody here they are Martine. I promised here they are. Martina has been wanting to hear you guys. So here we are everybody. I'd like to [00:01:00] introduce you all to our lovely littles little ladies. We haveElle:

[00:01:06] Elle: hello

[00:01:08] Fawn: and Alegra:

[00:01:10] Allegra: Whats up?

[00:01:11] Fawn: Fabulous. Oh my God. You guys come on. We need to speak. You guys have been very quiet.

We've all been very still this , past year. Quite still. We've been very centered. And yet at the same time, we've been making friends from around the world. We've met so many of our family members, family, as in the family that we create a family circle of friends from around the world.

There's a list now, that we can truly call family members. I thought we would start the show off today by getting in the word celebration. Are you ready? I wanted to talk about ceremony, but it just seemed so serious. I like the word celebration better and what it is, it's just gathering, it speaks of honoring [00:02:00] of a day or season by appropriate festivities. That celebration. And I want to say, I started to truly celebrate when you and I got together, Matt!. I mean, I would celebrate my birthday, but I wouldn't have parties ever. I would always have my alone spot. It was usually at the channel islands near Santa Barbara.

I would leave Santa Monica and just go be by myself and watch the whales and the seals. I'd take the boat out there and I call it like a committee meeting. I would look at the whole year everything that I experienced. All the people that I met, I would kind of record everything and do like, a boardroom meeting in my own spirit and figure out what I wanted to do next. And I was wondering if we could do that today and talk to Elle and Allegra about the whole celebration idea and the concept of hosting because you and I always talk about to [00:03:00] truly be friends to truly have the society that we should, that's friendly and compassionate, you have to be a good host, like when someone comes into your home, a good host walking out on the street, a host to strangers, a host to your friends, a host to your family. Life is about celebration. Life is a ceremony.

All right. Why don't you

[00:03:23] Allegra: pretty much is.

It's pretty much is

[00:03:27] Elle: I guess you could say that

[00:03:28] Matt: wow. Way to add. Um, no, no, no, no. Abs and that's what I do. Yeah, no, no, no, absolutely. Is, is what I do. And yeah, I've heard myself say that about a million times, but it's also about in my mind being a good host is about you're somebody that people know they can go to and you're going to offer them comfort; be it food, be it maybe an answer to a problem that they're having, et cetera. You are a place [00:04:00] for things to progress maybe as a, is an interesting way of putting it.

[00:04:04] Allegra: Yeah, you're right. Yeah.

[00:04:06] Fawn: I think of it as taking care of someone. You guys know me. I always go to food. So when I host someone, I'll make sure that they have enough to drink and enough to eat, and they're warm enough for cool enough comfortable enough to express their emotions, creating a space where the person feels special.

And I feel special too, that we all feel special creating that space. And you can create that kind of, of sanctuary on the street, in your home, in the bathroom, wherever you go. And I think we can spread that idea beyond our own tiny little homes and really take it out there to the world, to all the countries.

Can you imagine if all the countries lived like that with the concept of being a good host, that you're there to make [00:05:00] sure someone's needs are taken care of. That they're heard, they're listened to that they're seen instead of just looking at someone and saying, oh, they're there, she goes, the crazy middle Eastern person, or, whatever value and judgements that society puts on you instead of just seeing the human heart, the living heart, whether it's in, a squirrel or a human being, It's about being compassionate and being there for one another.

[00:05:32] Elle: You're right. It is kind of.

[00:05:34] Fawn: Let's just talk about everything we've done the past year. We've had so many shows and we were worried that we wouldn't have enough to talk about, but every week I feel behind don't you Matt ?, well, I feel behind because I'm the one who has all the notebooks seriously, at least 200 pages of notes of all the things that we need to [00:06:00] discuss.

Right. And sometimes, I go to race and politics and racial issues, things that really upset me, the way I get treated in society, the way I've seen my friends get treated in society. And so anyway, we ended up fighting , but we always come back together because that's what it's about.

It's about having uncomfortable conversations and still being able to listen to each other and understand each other and not continue the fight. Bring it around again

[00:06:29] Matt: and try and come to an understanding for sure.

[00:06:32] Fawn: A lot of other podcasts put their shows up like, the the top shows from the past year.

I didn't want to do that because we promised you, we would be here every week and we're here to talk every week and that's what we're going to do. I do encourage you to go back and listen to some things because most of them are pretty timeless. We got into everything from martial arts to cooking, to talking about technology [00:07:00] to music.

Remember that's how we met Paul and Barry and Michael. And we've had so many amazing therapists on like KJ and Rachel. Rachel from France and it is just growing. Our, our little tiny circle has grown so much and we want to thank you all for listening. And I wish our little girls not so little, they're actually taller than I am now.

But I wish you guys would express what you think about the world. How do you imagine the world being. Can it be the utopia that we envision that we're trying to create? Or are you, have you become a hardened? I see you scowling L you don't think the world will end up more compassionate,

[00:07:50] Elle: honestly.

No, not


I'm not sure. I just feel that way for some reason.

[00:07:59] Matt: It's always [00:08:00] best to have a good reason why. I mean, you look at things like, um, what's her name? Gretta, Thornburg. Thunbergii Thornburg of Scandinavia. Who's trying to make the world a better place. She's still championing on. She's still campaigning. Yeah.

[00:08:14] Fawn: Yeah. But her face looks likeElle's face right now. Do you know what I mean? Elle's face looks like Gretta is right now and, and you're, you're, you're absolutely right. I mean, a lot of kids, a lot of, I shouldn't a lot of people your age. And me included, I don't believe in age, but I understand there is a lot that you're dealing with.

Look at the mess of a world that we are in. But the good thing is that we're talking about it and it's more, more, it seems more prevalent because it's not hidden anymore. We're talking about all the issues we're talking, we're seeing things more than we ever have before in history. People are

[00:08:50] Matt: certainly, it feels like people are being a lot more honest.

As far as their

[00:08:54] Fawn: feelings go, the feelings and also willing to stand up and say, this was [00:09:00] wrong. What Gretta is doing, not what Gretta is doing is saying, this is wrong. You need to stop this. You're hurting the environment. You're, you're hurting every living thing, but I understand Elle, it's, um, it's hard to be optimistic.

. I don't blame us for feeling the way we do right now. It's hard. There's a lot that you're dealing with. And it's much like the, some artists that we know. That sings sad songs, , it's not fake. It's for real. It's the emotion that's prevalent right now.

Things feel a certain way. And that's the difference between optimistic and pessimist optimistic and pessimistic. You know, when you are going through hard times and when things look seemingly horrible, an optimist will realize nothing lasts forever. Everything has a season, nothing lasts forever. So if things look really bad to you, you [00:10:00] can fix it.

You can change it, you will move through it and it will not stay the same. Nothing stays the same. A pessimist will just be in that moment and think that's it. This is all that there is and nothing else. I understand, I understand how you're feeling. But please know that nothing lasts forever and we will move through this.

[00:10:20] Matt: It seems like the pessimists right now, they're like, oh yes, we're the honest ones. And the optimists are kind of foolish on some level are naive or a million other things ended up. But, but then it also seems like any event that takes us back into a normalcy kind of position, It's like, oh, well this is just back to normal.

It's not like, this is a good thing. People are unwilling to say that, you know, good things that are happening. It's just like, oh, this should have happened last year. Or we're just getting back to normal. Well, normal is normal can be good for goodness sake. You know, we should, we should enjoy, we should appreciate, I guess, quote, unquote [00:11:00] normal instead of just being like, well, okay.

We're kind of getting back to our baseline or whatever.

[00:11:07] Allegra: I guess my voice has been sounding a bit quiet compared to everyone else's

[00:11:13] Fawn: I want to hear your voice. What do you have to say, babe?

[00:11:17] Elle: Uh,

[00:11:20] Fawn: how do you feel about the future you want

[00:11:24] Allegra: to answer

[00:11:25] Elle: honestly?

[00:11:32] Allegra: No, no, honestly, I really don't. There's a 50, 50 chance. It could be like, you know, amazing. And you know, there's also a huge possibility that it will be horrible hell in a nutshell. Anyway, I should probably

[00:11:52] Fawn: stop talking. I don't want

[00:11:54] Matt: you to stop things every week that you look forward to aren't there ?

[00:11:58] Allegra: Lately. I've just been excited for [00:12:00] Halloween

[00:12:01] Matt: and there you go. That's something to be excited for,

[00:12:05] Allegra: but it kind of loses its touch after like, you know, when you realize it it's going to happen like two months plus like a week.

[00:12:15] Matt: Well, honestly, it'll probably be happening as we air this episode. No, we're going to have to air this one really quick.


[00:12:22] Fawn: yeah, we're airing this episode, like lickety split this week. This is our, this is our anniversary week. This is our birthday week. And I just wanted to go back to what you were saying, Matt, about normal. I, I don't want to go back to norm. And there is no going back to normal because normal was the time when most people didn't listen to one another, as much as they're listening to one another.

Now normal is when we didn't care that there was this group over here that, you know, was less than a [00:13:00] paycheck away from being homeless, you know, normal way. The fact that when we talked about, voter suppression, that it was just something thing unheard of. And now we realize, wow, look at all these levels where suppression has been existing and is continuing to progress.

So I don't want to go back to normal. And what I want to say is that. Being optimistic doesn't mean I'm going to get rid of whatever is happening here. That I'm I'm, I'm just going to look ahead. It means I will breathe through what is happening and choose what we should create next, because yet it won't last forever.

And. Focusing on what you would like to create in this moment. And this moment is actually the moment of the future. [00:14:00] If that makes any sense, do you understand what I'm saying?

[00:14:03] Matt: Totally. And to further kind of get through, go through it. It's it's about having things to look forward to. It's like, what am I looking forward to, you know, today, what am I looking forward to this week?

What am I looking forward to this month? What am I looking forward to this season? You know, and, and really taking the moment to experience to enjoy. We had some rain. We were, we live at we're in Colorado, 300 days of sun a year, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We had buckets full of rain the other day. And it was just like, everything kind of got cleaned and everything smelled different and everything cooled down and everything, everything.

You know, and, and wow. I really enjoyed that. And I, I had forgotten what it was like for us to have a, uh, you know, a thunderstorm, if you will, that, you know, fortunately no one gets hurt, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Cause we have those too, but it was just, [00:15:00] wow. It was just such an enjoyable moment. And it's about recognizing them for what they are and yeah; not living inside of them, but living, , taking the moments to live inside the memories of these

and having ceremony within that.

[00:15:18] Fawn: So what I was talking about before, like before we met, I didn't really do celebrations and for my birthday and never had parties, but I would go by myself and look at the water, look the ocean, and take stock of everything.

Um, I want to say it was when Elle was born and then Alegra was born that the ceremony of it was boosted to the infinite level. And it's not like we had a bunch of friends. I mean, most of it happened on Bainbridge island where this whole friendship thing, the. Totally formed for us because we realized, wow, people [00:16:00] really suck out there.

Like nobody is like really willing to be friends. And the whole concept of friendship was not our idea of friendship. And so just taking the moment that you're in, I mean, things were bad for us on Bainbridge Island. They were, it was scary. And we had so little money and. It was horrible. At the same time we had Ellen Allegra and we would bake cakes and we would put together ingredients and make three meals a day.

Out of the ingredients that we had, we made beautiful vegan cakes, we created art from almost nothing and decorated our homes wherever we went. I think a library wants to say something, speaking of, you know,

[00:16:53] Allegra: making stuff. I remember when, when, uh, when Elle and I were like, you know, really little, well, not [00:17:00] really, really like.

We still lived in Colorado at this point. Basically we just, we go, we went outside after school to, you know, hang out and play and you know, like on like scooters. Yeah. And so, and so after that, we all the three of us, cause I don't think dad was ever home at that point. The three of us. We, we enjoyed some delicious, homemade sorbets out of like fruit and stuff out of our Vitamix.

We still have it somehow some way.

[00:17:44] Fawn: That's, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Those, those are the things that make life ceremonial, you know, we're not going to do this huge, big, huge events like whoopee. It's our first year. We're very proud of this podcast and we have [00:18:00] so much more to talk about, but yeah, you're right.

Alegra like we would take whatever fruit we had. We would freeze it. We would make sorbets and we would have a little. Party between the three of us until daddy got home. Or like when it was Valentine's day, we talked about this. Remember Matt about hosting and, um, remember girls like the, do you remember the very first time we did this, where we cut heart shapes?

It must have been hundreds of them hearts. We cut out with scissors from, with cardboard and pieces of paper and we hung them from the ceiling. So when daddy came, daddy's tall, right. When dad came home, when he. Enter into the apartment. He would be kissed by all these hearts on his forehead, but like things like that make life great.

And these are the things that we do together, that when we come together with our friends, This is, this is training. [00:19:00] This is it's not training. That's not the right word, but this is, this is what we do for each other. This is ceremony. This is celebration. It's the every day guys it's the every day.

[00:19:14] Fawn: Remember when then we lived in Northern California and it would rain. And we would put our boots on and go out there. And you, you loved splashing in the puddles there they're nodding. Yes. Yeah.

[00:19:32] Allegra: I remember it believe it or not. I mean, it's a memories are very vague, but I can definitely remember.

[00:19:39] Fawn: Elle do you remember when Allegra was born? And we were trying to have her sleep, which by the way, Alegra stopped napping at nine months old, but Ele do you remember, we would go make tea with, we would like make a little tiny little dessert and you, and I would go underneath the dining room table and have a tea party [00:20:00] together.


[00:20:01] Elle: Nope. I do not remember that. Are you

[00:20:03] Fawn: serious? You don't remember that. And then

[00:20:05] Allegra: some seriously, and then I got so jealous that I just stopped taking the naps. Cause you know, not wanting to miss out on stuff, not wanting to miss out on stuff. Stemmed from an early

[00:20:16] Fawn: age, it's called FOMO. W what are you trying to do?

Tell them I have FOMO.

[00:20:21] Elle: Okay.

[00:20:22] Fawn: So now's the time I think we should think about what we want to do in the future. Now is the time every day I have never been one to have that new year's Eve. New year's resolutions. I don't like it. I don't, I, I think every day is a new year, so I don't want to make a huge fuss during new year's Eve.

And you know, you all know, I don't like fireworks and I don't like big banging sounds and I don't like all the crazy drinking and Woodby. And then all of a sudden you're cursing the past year and say nuts to you. And [00:21:00] welcome this new one. And then the new one, you'll be cursing, December 31st.

It's disrespectful so I want to say that every day is special and every day let's no matter what is going on. Let's take stock of how and why, and really the hows of how we got it. It's really amazing. All the little tiny points that came together and gently guided us to this very moment right now, introducing us to the people that we know right now, the people that walked hand in hand with us maybe, and then maybe they left for whatever reason they turned out to be not so good friends.

It's all good. It's all good. So I want to say, I have a lot in stored. As far as the podcast goes for this year coming up, we're going to be publishing some books. We have some amazing, I don't, I don't know what to call them. Mat. Are they courses like amazing little [00:22:00] let's say lecture. I hate the word lecture.

Terrible. That's a terrible word. But like we, we definitely have some things coming up. Let's call it a fireside chat. And things that will bring us together. We are planning on going from country to country and creating a physical community, not just one that is over the airwaves, but bringing us together .

Elle, let's ask Elle a question. Okay. let's talk about, what do you think the most important concept of friendship is? Like when you think of friendship, what comes to your mind?

[00:22:36] Allegra: So anyway, friendship stuff, please answer Elle.

[00:22:40] Elle: Well, what first

comes to mind to me is a feeling of safety and happiness, a feeling of not being alone. You know, it's a nice, safe, comforting feeling to me.

[00:22:53] Fawn: I love that. Allegra, how about you,

[00:22:58] Allegra: uh, well, [00:23:00]

It's a certain thing about, you know, always being there for your BFF.

Like if there's like a ton of drama or something going on in their life, the best you can do is just be there for them. That may not make sense, but I don't know.

[00:23:16] Fawn: You're right. Being there without judgment. Right. I try to do that with you guys. I think the whole. Here I'll move the mic. I think being friends with someone, the way you treat family is how you will treat your friends and your friends.

The true friends those are your family. It's the family that you choose. So when you guys fight, I'm like, all right, it's good to fight because it's kind of like it. Remember when you got, yes, don't look at me like that Allegra, but when you guys fight, it reminds me of teeny tiny little, um, lion Cubs that fight in the Serengeti or something like they're fighting and they're actually [00:24:00] learning skills on communication and skills on how to hunt and skills on how to survive in the wilderness.

So at a certain point, I realized, you know what, I'm not going to break you guys up every time you argue and at the same time, I can still see the love and the care, even in the midst of the fight.

Okay. Allegra is giving me some looks right now, it's important to know how to fight. And it's important to know how to treat each other and how to come back around. And the way you treat family, you get used to that, right? That's your training. That's like your, your muscles are working a certain way.

That's exactly how you're going to be treating friends. So we need to treat each other well. I I come from a family I had to leave behind because they did not treat each other well. I had to get away from that. And my main goal is to have a clear circle of true love and respect, true seeing [00:25:00] and hearing.

It's such a big deal for me. And that's, that's what I want to talk about. That's what I that's my whole mission here .

[00:25:09] Matt: Whereas for me it's a little different when I think about being a good host, for instance, because in my parents' house, it was. We went from this, to this, to this, this didn't matter. The occasion didn't matter the season didn't matter the guest list didn't matter, didn't matter, didn't matter. The only thing that really tweaked things was we had a pool in the backyard. And so whether or not we went swimming in the pool. But you know, for me being a good host is really looking at other people's comfort. And really trying to understand it and trying to figure out ways to make them feel comfortable when they're in your space, because it can be a very kind of uncomfortable existence for a minute.

Right. And all of a sudden you're assaulted by strange smells and strange [00:26:00] people and strange a strange house. And, you know, you can feel very uncomfortable in that situation. And it's about recognizing that and making sure that people don't

feel uncomfort.

[00:26:12] Fawn: One of the first conversations I had with you, Matt was when we first met, we were in Aikido.

And you said it's important to be a good host in the world. Can you repeat what you said way back then? We'll, we'll, you've repeated a few times on the show on the podcast, but do it again.

[00:26:28] Matt: It's important to be you, you could host in the world, not around, um, it's it's about walking through, maintaining your sense of self, maintaining your physical presence, your spiritual presence and your mental presence, but , it's important to realize that people around you might need your help that, you're there, you're not isolated. It's not about "this person is here to serve me." It's not about, " I just need to get away from these people as quickly as [00:27:00] possible." It's about welcoming people, welcoming those experiences that come to you and being a good host, trying to make other people feel comfortable as well as helping to solve other people's problems, which is typically why people interact with one another out in the world, sadly, is because I'm having a problem or I need you to do this for me. So it's important to break through that and, you know, be a good host.

I don't know. I don't know how else to say it.

[00:27:29] Fawn: And, um, this reminds me also when Elle was a toddler. I want to talk about prejudice for a second I wanted to make sure that I displayed no prejudice at all. And I'm not talking about racial situations or anything like that.

I wanted them to have an appreciation and compassion for all of life. And, and I knew all of life meant snakes and spiders and things like that. We had a house on Bainbridge, . We moved in. We fixed everything up. It was gorgeous. And it was [00:28:00] time to walk in the yard.

And I remember I was pregnant with Al and I was so nervous about being pregnant because I had never been pregnant before. And I'm like, what can I do? What can I not do? Like, you know, hear all this stuff. Like you're not supposed to eat sushi. You're not, which is fine because we're vegan. But, but like all these things, no hot tubs, whatever, like all these no-nos.

So I'm like, oh my God, can I jump all of a sudden, like you can't do a lot of yoga poses. You know, yoga is pretty much a no-no different stages of pregnancy as I was nervous. So, but here I was, I was walking into the yard and all of a sudden a snake crossed my path and I seriously do not remember touching the ground.

I think I somehow flew from where I was. Maybe touch the ground once or twice, specially ran, flew back in [00:29:00] the house and I said, we've got to move. There's a snake out there. And so for the amount of years that we lived in that house, every time I walked. Exactly that same spot. I assume the snake would be crossing the path again, but like, I know that Allegra wants to say something like, don't lose your thought, please hold it.

But what I was going to say was because I was so scared of spiders and snakes, I didn't want to translate that onto our Elle and Alegra. And so what happened was. I try to not say anything. And I remember this is going back to being a good host by the way. But I remember feeling so happy when Elle spotted a big spider in the house and Donna, and I think my eyes were really big, but she wasn't looking at me.

She was looking at the spider. Thank God. She was not looking at me because I probably looked horrified like, oh my God, I remember L looked at the spider and got close to it [00:30:00] and was almost about to caress it. And I remember she made a sound like, "AAAAAHHHHHH....BABY!" , that. I was like, oh my God, that is so sweet. Now let's get rid of the spider, no escorted out escorted out, but that's being a good house.

Do you know? Like when she was still two and a half, we would go to the playground and she would introduce herself to everyone. Like it was her home. Right, right. Allegra. I'm sorry, honey. You go ahead. What were you going to say? Oh, sorry. I

[00:30:33] Allegra: was just, I was just about to say, speaking of snakes, I remember that one time we were going home from, from, I think it was the market.

We were going to buy some stuff like, like that delicious caramelized onion bread. I still wonder how we're living without it was so good. Hmm. Anyway, so basically we're heading back. [00:31:00] Right. And then, and then suddenly L started red L started running past and jumped. At some point I ran, I ran and followed her and, and mom's Emily.

I heard mom scream. I don't know. This was a while back. Okay. Like a very long time ago. Like I was probably seven back then or something. And so then what happened next was. My mom started screaming Elle and I looked back and then this, and then the snake was all like, "hello friends". Well, it wasn't, it didn't actually say anything.

It was just slithering around. And I was just like, wait, what? And I was like,

Like, like she was like, she was so freaked out. Mom started screaming. So, so L decided to make the decision to run towards mom over, jump over the snake as [00:32:00] second time to get to mom. And I just ran up the stairs realizing, and I'm when I was up the stairs. I realized, first of all, Hey. I'm way smarter than I am.

I'm way smarter. I'm smarter than my older sister in this one predicament and also weights. I got so lucky. I didn't step on that snake, even though I didn't even realize it was there and I was running what I am still thankful to this day that I didn't step on that poor little snake.

[00:32:33] Fawn: I think Elle was expressing compassion for me because I was left behind with the snake.

So Elle came to my, to my defense, I think. Thank you.

[00:32:47] Elle: You're welcome.

[00:32:51] Allegra: And also I remember a time when I was little where I forgot what I was going to say. [00:33:00] Do you ever just forget what you're about to say? And you're just like so upset with yourself and then you never remember it ever again. Or you remember then are you remembering the shower later?

And then you have. And you start talking to yourself as me.

[00:33:13] Fawn: Does that happen to you too?

[00:33:15] Allegra: Yeah, just like sometimes after an argument, I come up with the perfect co come backs and so and so suddenly. And so suddenly I decided to like continue on with the argument in the shower alone or sitting on the toilet.


[00:33:30] Matt: Sometimes you will come up with the right argument, but, but to go back now to, oh my God, don't tell people worms and whatever, you know, it's about in hindsight, to be honest, when I was in elementary school, there was a girl, her name was Patricia Chen and she would pick up bees. I thought she was crazy.

I remember her name. Why? Because that was the flipping most bad-ass coolest thing that I had [00:34:00] ever seen that I had seen particularly, you know, owing to the fact that, you know, we were like 10 at the time complete and utter bad-ass.

[00:34:08] Fawn: So let's talk about what we're going to create next. I want to create a larger family, Calm down, man. I'm talking about the family that we create a family of friends, I want to really take our message out there on the road. What do you think. Go from bold coffee, shop to coffee, shop country, to country, talk about the art of friendship from culture to culture.

what else you guys will continue on with your education. Hopefully the world will be in a better place. People will be healthier. Maybe we can stop the nonsense of, war maybe we can, maybe we can clean up around here. No. Talking about our home. All these cars, corporations need to clean up the messes that they've made, [00:35:00] that they're continually making .

[00:35:01] Matt: Well, and practicing the art of kindness,

[00:35:04] Fawn: compassion.

I want Elle to speak her wisdom.

You're on the Spock baby. Go ahead.

[00:35:13] Allegra: It's kind of, I can't play or though it's very hard to be on the spot. It is.

[00:35:18] Elle: Well, personally, what I think about the state of the world is like mom said before that basically, so all of the problems are always swept under the rug and lately the rug has been cut.

They've been, people have been cleaning the rug and then the stuff has been flying back out into the air. So, and we need to clean that up too.

[00:35:41] Fawn: I think we were forced to clean the rug weren't we? Yes, we really were like the pants. Is, are you talking about the pandemic? Yes. And other

[00:35:48] Elle: things like racial equality, gender equality, that kind of

[00:35:52] Fawn: stuff passionate about that.

You were very passionate about making sure that [00:36:00] everyone is treated equally.

[00:36:03] Elle: Yes, I am.

[00:36:07] Fawn: Do you know where that comes from? No, I don't. I guess so. Yeah. And so what, what do you want to be doing in the next 12 months? 12 months.

[00:36:19] Elle: That's a good question. A lot of things have already changed. I'm not sure what's going to happen next.

[00:36:26] Fawn: Do you, do you guys realize the rate of change for you is so much faster now that like, let's say the change in me. Like look at how much you grow every single day. I swear when you wake up in the morning or taller than the night before.

[00:36:44] Matt: Well, actually they are because when you sleep, it's like gravity, which compresses your spine every day gets a chance.

Your spine gets a chance to stretch back

[00:36:52] Fawn: out. I'm not talking to my compression. I literally have to stand on a step stool to measure Elle's [00:37:00] height.

[00:37:00] Matt: Yeah, you got to stand on a step. So give me a kiss too, but

[00:37:03] Fawn: it's true. And it's almost there with Allegra too. My goodness.

[00:37:08] Elle: Oh Lord.

[00:37:14] Matt: That's 12 months for Al I think she's going to be, um, studying some, some really challenging subjects. She's going to start getting in into an areas where she feels more challenged and more passionate about.

[00:37:30] Fawn: That's one of the things we love about homeschooling as we've been able to really Excel, like really move forward a lot. So you're away. She's actually like she gets it. I mean, my goodness. All right. You've done so much. Both of you. I'm so proud of you in the past year. Alegra that cover arts. She did the art for.

Cover of a music album, not bad kid. [00:38:00] You, you both had, I guess it was over a year ago, but at the art walk in town, you guys had the only art booth and you sold a lot. You guys meet some beautiful art.

[00:38:15] Allegra: I remember me and my sister, my sister Al used to come used to compete, like who could sell the most, of course, I tried my best to make my products like significantly, significantly better than hers in, in every shoe shape, shape, and form.

And that, and I also lowered the price, the like half from half of what L's prices were. Well, they were still pretty expensive. They sold better. And I won almost every single time.

[00:38:49] Fawn: I don't understand where this competition comes from, honestly, because I saw, oh my God, apparently. So, I mean, I don't like to compete.[00:39:00]

I don't like it. You don't

[00:39:02] Matt: flip the board. That's what

[00:39:03] Fawn: I get angry at. You guys know? I don't even play games. I can't, I have to sit on the side and sit on my hands. Right. Daddy calls me Chewbacca because I get angry. If I lose, I don't like competition competition. before we go. Can you tell me what you want to do?

Alegra on the next 12 months, what do you want to create? Um,

[00:39:27] Allegra: well, I'm hoping to like, you know, possibly make a YouTube channel that has like a ton of subscribers or something.

Maybe you get smarter.

[00:39:37] Matt: is:

[00:39:38] Allegra: Learn alot

[00:39:38] Matt: And wait a second. Wait a second. Don't you have a don't you have a passion for bakinglittle one?

[00:39:46] Allegra: I

guess I do like baking a


[00:39:49] Matt: So it might, it might behoove you to, you know, take it up, get another notch because I mean, you're already fairly decent baker, certainly for your age, but that's entirely

[00:39:59] Fawn: beside the point [00:40:00] for any age, she's a decent baker.

Exactly. And a vegan one,

[00:40:07] Matt: you could make caramelized onion bread. Oh,

[00:40:11] Allegra: I like something that might be out of my league for now.

[00:40:14] Fawn: No, it's totally possible. We just haven't had time

[00:40:19] Allegra: maybe. So at some point we could make like chocolate chip cookies or something and like, you know, do what we used to do and like add little bits of marshmallow in it.

[00:40:30] Matt: And we're talking from scratch. We're not talking about cutting open it in a tube.

[00:40:33] Fawn: And you.

[00:40:37] Elle: Hmm. Well, I hope to move forward with my academics, like move forward with learning science. I'm really passionate when it comes to science.

[00:40:46] Fawn: And any thoughts, any thoughts on how people can have

better friendships, from your perspective, what we can do in the world to make it more compassionate

[00:40:59] Elle: from your

[00:40:59] Fawn: [00:41:00] perspective?

[00:41:00] Elle: Maybe if we listen to one another, that would do some good

[00:41:06] Allegra: and possibly, you know, First of all, it'd be, it'd be amazing if racism, you know, kind of ended at some point, hopefully, but hopefully like at some point extroverts will understand the introvert side of the story.

And so they'll actually, you know, not feel like the introvert is not there because honestly we introverts or, you know, nobody even knows where they are most of the time. Especially at parties. I heard

[00:41:43] Fawn: cause

[00:41:43] Allegra: I, cause the last party I ever went to was with my family in 2019, I did exactly what normal introvert would do.

Hanging out in the corner. And since I didn't have, since I didn't have anything to keep me entertained, just sat there [00:42:00] and thought about life.

[00:42:01] Fawn: Hold on. We have plenty to keep us entertained. That was the Halloween party. Wasn't it. There, there are chalky pretzels. I mean, do you remember all. In his costume.

I'm a, we're still talking about his little costume, little, little vain. Come on. That was very entertaining. Right?

[00:42:21] Allegra: I couldn't. I just think about that the entire time. Um,

[00:42:28] Elle: anyways,

[00:42:30] Fawn: I tried not to

[00:42:32] Matt: anyway. I think that's actually interesting advice from you. Alegra I mean, certainly, you know, taking out what else said and building on it, you know, listen more. Yes. Pay attention, you know, everybody, it's my belief. Everybody has at least one really cool story to tell. And so fi figuring out what that is, is almost like doing a treasure hunt when you meet somebody for the first time.[00:43:00]

[00:43:00] Fawn: And I think we have to get used to doing that. We have to get used to having the parties. Again, we have to get used to entertaining one another again, but like even with a podcast, we had to get used to the podcast. Daddy and I used to fight because he would say I would talk too much. And he, you know, he wouldn't, he couldn't get a word in.

I'm like, well, that's your problem, buddy? You know what you want the woman to not speak? It's not my fault. I can

[00:43:24] Matt: wait. I'm kidding.

[00:43:29] Fawn: As I take the mic. Um, I forgot what I was going to say, but like, we have to get used to it. I remember, uh, last year we tried to do a podcast episode, all of us together. Do you remember with, but we use the boom mic. We didn't use this setup. The shotgun. Yeah. Thank you. Al the shotgun, Mike. Um, by the way, Alan Alegra has been through this whole process with the friendship as they've been behind the scenes work.

Everything we [00:44:00] do, but do you guys remember, we did that episode on, we were baking something and it was, uh, it had incorporated friendship, but it had to do with, we were baking something. We could sweet tortillas, I think. Oh yeah, we were doing the sweet tortillas, but what happened? We weren't used to doing that together and we all ended up fighting.

And then we left the mix and everything. And for 30 minutes I was listening to it a few months ago. It was just us fighting in the other room and we forgot to turn off the mix. It was

[00:44:34] Matt: I

[00:44:34] Fawn: right. Oh my God. But we, but you see, we just have to get used to things because yeah. Things will go wrong. The cake will fall apart.

You know, the tortillas will not turn out. Right. Someone's feelings will get hurt, but if you do it more and more often, You kind of roll with the punches? I shouldn't say that because there were punches rolled at our wedding, but you kind of roll with it. It's kind of like surfing. You just [00:45:00] go, there's another wave and another wave.

And you, you fall off the board, you get back on and you enjoy the ride eventually. Right? You have to get used to dancing in a way.

[00:45:13] Allegra: Also I'd like to add something to what I said earlier. Do you ever, this is an introvert kind of thing, by the way, you ever just like, you know, help people out with stuff. And since they don't really pay much attention to you, they don't realize that you're actually doing quite a bit.

And so they're all. And, and so they congratulate your, your older sister on, wow, you did so much. And they're just using in the background and they're like, oh, I agree. You should know about, you should help out more. Now this is probably going to get edited out. Says to

[00:45:45] Elle: get off my chest.

[00:45:49] Fawn: Yeah. We have to get used to, we

[00:45:51] Matt: have to pay attention.

Yeah. We have to, and then we have to be aware of what's happening

[00:45:56] Fawn: around us and we have to do what you just did express our [00:46:00] emotions. Right. And Al you're quiet. You're quiet a lot, but that's actually quiet more often.

But yeah, you're right. We have to acknowledge each other and give space to one another. Even if that space, that space may seem uncomfortable, it's going to be

[00:46:25] Elle: okay.

[00:46:28] Fawn: I see you baby. And I think you are, I know you're brilliant and you are just as amazing. You are amazing on infinite levels, both of you are in completely different ways.

And sometimes one of the other things is that we can't take things personally because sometimes when we're upset, we don't hear properly. Like I [00:47:00] always talk about how dad and I fight. I don't hear him apologizing, man.

[00:47:04] Matt: That's rough too.

[00:47:09] Fawn: It's going to be okay. It's part of the dance people's feelings get hurt. You feel unheard. And sometimes you don't realize the person is actually hearing you and acknowledging you. But when, when you're in the thick of it, you feel so shut out. I totally get it. Elle. Is there something you can add to that?

[00:47:39] Elle: Please.

[00:47:44] Fawn: All right. Well, I had intended for you all the past year to be part of some of the episodes, but this is the only one, one year later, and it's still, it's a little bit hard trying to have everyone [00:48:00] speak. Should we wrap it up

okay, we're going to wrap it up, but mainly we're doing the show to say thank you. Thank you. Absolutely.

[00:48:09] Matt: Thank you.

[00:48:11] Fawn: Thank you to all of our friends. Thank you for the listening that you're doing. Thank you for taking part. Thank you for the comments that you send our way. I mean, there are some superstars out there that listened to every single episode.

And for a while, we were doing three episodes a week and that was, that was harsh. And they were like, okay, I'm trying to catch up because everyone, everyone has, their schedules are so packed and it's, it's hard, but thank you so much. We just want to say thank you. And, and, and, um, this has been such a beautiful journey and it's going to get even better.

Everything's going to be okay guys. It is. All right, we'll talk to you soon. Take care. Everyone. Take care. Goodbye. [00:49:00] See you later.