Friendly Steps Towards a Friendly Society - Wings of Desire

TRANSCRIPT _ Friendly Steps 2 Wings of Desire

[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello. Hello. Again, welcome to our friendly world, everybody. So you know how we're now doing little sprinkles here and there of baby steps I just wanted to add something new to our show.

Sprinkled in between the long shows, I want to do these baby steps I'm calling them friendly steps. I may change the name. If you have something better, let me know. But if you put them all together, we're going to take baby steps together. And if you put them all together, I believe this is my version.

Now I'm not a big PhD person. These are all my own thoughts as a photographer when I've had time alone, when I've been noticing throughout my life, things that happen. People's behaviors. I'm not affected by the Brenee Browns out there, which I respect, but these are all my thoughts.

And so I want to introduce you to all the ways I think we can create a utopian type of society; one, where it's truly a friendly world and things that I tried, things that I have, that I would tell you about that we would call nuggets of wisdom from Santa Monica, from my mentor, from. From the friends in the neighborhood. These are all the lessons.

So now what I want to do is do the steps, friendly steps. They're like little baby steps and don't worry. They're all fun. They're all meant to give you a spark of joy, inspired by a divine spark in you and the universe. There's no way that you can miss a step. It's just fun, little things to do.

You don't have to do any of them in order. They're just little sparks of inspiration that will give you a chuckle and hopefully make other people feel good.

So today's baby step today's friendly step is this. The first part of it is I want you to, do something, That I think came out of the 1980s. I don't remember.

It's one of my favorite movies. I haven't watched it in a very long time. I've talked about it on the show before it's called "Wings of Desire". It takes place in Berlin. When the Berlin wall was up. It's a beautifully done movie. It's very artistic. It is just deep and beautiful. It has Colombo in it. For those of you who know Peter Falk.

You don't have to watch the whole movie, just like even just watching the first part of the movie is enough to give you the inspiration for this baby step, this friendly step that we're going to do together. "Wings of Desire" is about these angels. And as the movie opens up, these angels have certain spots, they hang out in. A lot of them, hang out in the libraries.

A lot of them hang out on top of buildings with gargoils and they're watching people. These angels will focus on one person. And follow that person. They could hear the person's thoughts. And as they're watching and putting their focus on this person, everything becomes clear to the angel. Like what's troubling this person, what this person is going through, what does this person need?

And once that becomes clear, the angel puts his or her hand on the person's shoulder. Like magic, their thoughts begins to transform. They transform. Their emotions transform and they feel light again. You can see it in their physique. You see how all of a sudden their expression changes and there's a lightness about them.

And then it's clear. It's done. And then the angel sees the person walks away much happier and much better off. This is what the angels do in this movie. And so we're going to try that. Okay. Um, this, this is. Matt is looking at me weird. So we're

[00:04:03] Matt: going to be following people around their thoughts and then touching them on the shoulder.

I don't think that's going to

[00:04:07] Fawn: quite

Matt, stop it. Let me explain. So this is one of my favorite things to do as a photographer, because what you're going to do is, so here's the friendly step. I want you to pick someone. Again, it could be a stranger, but I want you to be one of these angels.

I want you to pretend you're watching a movie. So you're not attached to this person. All right. You're not emotionally, physically, or you're not attached to this person. You're watching a movie, but don't watch a movie like how Matt watches a movie. Oh my God.

[00:04:43] Matt: Well, thanks for that,

[00:04:45] Fawn: babe. It's so hard.

Like ever since we've been together. I'm like, I love you so much watching a movie with you, I have to put all my shields up because you want to analyze everything and figure things out. I don't care. I'm just watching it. I'm going with the flow and you want to figure it out. You want to figure out the ending.

You want to figure out all the things that are happening, that you're not seeing on the screen. Whereas I just want to sit back and just watch.

[00:05:17] Matt: I'm just exhausting at all times.

[00:05:19] Fawn: You're not exhausting, but you're taking me, but you're taking me out of the moment. I just want to be on a ride and have the director or the writer, all the people that created the movie;

I'm willing for them to just take me on a joy ride. It's so funny. See, you're not in the moment with movies, but I'm not in the moment when in life, like I'm always trying to figure stuff like, man, what's going to happen.

What do you think? Come on, put up your psychic feelers and let me know what the future is. And you're like, no, just be in the moment. But then when we watch movies, it's the opposite. Anyway, I digress. What I'm trying to say is when you're looking at people, Try to watch like a movie without figuring things out.

It's a way to offer detachment in a good way where you're not invested. You're just watching and that's when the magic happens. So I want you to pretend you're one of these angels that watches and listens. You're going to pick one person and you're doing this in the midst of noise.

Like other things could be happening. You can do this anywhere, by the way. You have to be silent, and at first unseen. Don't let the person know this is happening. But guaranteed, they will feel you. It will be, felt; like the movie, the people could feel a transformation. They don't know who it is or where it's coming from, or if it's coming from anything, it's just a, it's just a, they feel a transformation.

Place you're open-minded un trying to figure things out, deal on this person. So don't try to figure anything out. Don't try to analyze them. Don't try to fix anything. Just put all your focused attention in a loving way. And like in a grand loving way, imagine them being fully embraced by a caring being, it could be you, but if you don't have a capacity for it to be you, imagine them enveloped by a huge giant angel or something, you know, pick, pick a symbol that feels good to you.

That's neutral, but that's bigger than life. Something that is greater than us. Okay. And hold that place that on them and see what happens. That's the friendly step today. We can do it any day. You can do it anytime. Place loving energy or a loving blanket on them. Energetically, purely energetic. And by the way, Matt, this is what you do at work all the time. I've seen you for years now. You do this. Now. I have described it in my way, and then I've described it using "Wings of Desire," you know, and I'm talking about angels and everything, but you seriously, I've seen you do this at work with people.

You will focus your attention. You will place like a beautiful, a cloak of love on this person, whoever you think needs something or needs anything. You do that for people.

Are you denying it?

[00:08:14] Matt: I'm not denying it.

[00:08:15] Fawn: Do you want to describe it in your own words before we go? Cause I know mine is very ethereal and you know, do it your, your style. How would you say this friendly step is?

[00:08:26] Matt: So, in a work environment we're communicating, so we lose this sense of just sending them good vibes.

So when I can sense that somebody might be feeling a little off, then I will just send them a quick blurb with a little emoticon on it, or I will post a comedic, uh, image out either to them or to a group I know that they're in, especially if I feel like there might be tension between me and them.

Just a diffuse and to, to almost proactively diffuse, like they might be, you know, it's about staying ahead of it and making sure that the people around, you know, that you know, that they're important to you.

[00:09:04] Fawn: I've also seen you do this without any written emojis or anything written. I've seen you take people under your wing.

Until they can fly on their own. I've seen you do that. And it's not just with work. I've seen you do it at work. By me saying it's not just work. I mean, it's about a human being. It's not about just a coder learning to code a certain way at work or getting a task done.

It's a total human connection that you make people understand how valued they are. You do it in such a, uh, incognito. You do it in such a quiet way. It's quite beautiful. And because I'm your wife and because I see you and I see, I hear you. And I I've seen it for years that you do that is it's quite remarkable.

Another good reason why no one you work with. Knows that you have a podcast and we talk about all this stuff, the secret would be out. So that's it. The friendly step today, you're going to pretend that you're an angel. You're going to put your focused attention in a loving way on one person.

You're going to hold it. Even if it's, even if it's only for a minute, it has to be focused attention. It's done with love and that's it. Guaranteed the person will feel it.

[00:10:30] Matt: That is true. We are connected, even if we can't put our finger on it or consciously understand it and just think about what a wonderful world it would be.

If everyone did this,

[00:10:39] Fawn: it could be less than a minute. Right, man. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we've all experienced this Matt talks about this all the time. We all have this power when you're looking at someone from a top building from on top. Right. And you're looking at someone walking they'll turn around.

Cause they sent you looking at. But they can't see you. You can sense when someone's looking at you. Yes, absolutely. And in this fragmented world today that we're trying to fix right now to bring all the puzzles back together, all the pieces back together, and we are the pieces, this is what it is. We sense each other. To be seen.

To have that loving light placed on one another. Even if it's for 15 seconds, it makes a big difference. And this is what our show is all about. This is our way of creating a utopian society, a friendly world.

We're not here to say, Hey, this is the way to do it. 1, 2, 3, 4. This is how you make a friend. Our society has come to a place where the art of friendship has been lost, but it's not gone. It's in us. We have to remember, and it starts with conversation. That's why we're doing the podcast.

It's about creating conversation, at our kitchen table. You are our friends, you are family. We're here to talk about life and that's what friends do. That's what friendship is. We're here to share our experiences, our thoughts. We're here to share the happenings and. And help each other through. It could be something that we can't figure out at the moment, but the mere fact that we're talking about it is a huge deal.

It could be everything. It is everything to have a conversation. That's what brings us together. And it's not about talking and having the person believe exactly what you believe. It's just about communication. Matt and I are night and day. When people realize that we're married, they're like, what? How does that work out?

Well, you said that, oh my God, you

[00:12:38] Matt: said that know it's still, it sounds so hectic.

[00:12:41] Fawn: Well, welcome to my world when you say it. Right. But it's true because when people see us, like, we're like the weirdest looking couple, probably. I don't know, but they're always shocked when. They realize I am your wife, you know what I mean?

And the other way around. And then once they know your personality, they know mine. It's, it's another shocker. Like how did those two do it? Like what, how is that possible? Just night and day. Right. That is part of the art of friendship is the yin and yang. It's.

The simple connection. It's a simple privilege of being at a table together and hearing each other. That's what we're about. And that's what we're working on.

We love you so much.

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Be well, see you later.