Do you think it's a bad thing to be so interconnected? We are living in a time where we see, hear, and feel everything we are all (as a collective and individually) feeling and experiencing all at the same time. This experience of “oneness” can be devastating and hard to manage. What can we do?
We turn to a simple cure, one that is thousands of years old – The breath. In this episode, we explore breath and the way it can not only heal the body and the mind, but transform reality and change the outcome of realty as we see it.
Do you think it's a bad thing to be so interconnected? We are living in a time where we see, hear, and feel everything we are all (as a collective and individually) feeling and experiencing all at the same time. This experience of “oneness” can be devastating and hard to manage. What can we do?
We turn to a simple cure, one that is thousands of years old – The breath. In this episode, we explore breath and the way it can not only heal the body and the mind, but transform reality and change the outcome of realty as we see it.
Breath is also called prana and it means the vital energy of the universe.
Swami Rama, according to, his book, "The Science of Breath, A Practical Guide".
Swami Rama: "According to one of the schools of Indian philosophy, the whole universe was projected out of Akasha Which means space, space through the energy of prana. Akasha is the infinite all-encompassing material of the universe. And prana is the infinite all-pervading energy of the universe, cosmic energy. All the diverse forms of the universe are sustained by it. Pranayama is a science, which imparts knowledge related to the control of Parana. One who has learned to control prana has learned to control all the energies of this universe, physical and mental. He is also learned to control his body and mind."
"In short, emotions are tunnels. If you go all the way through them, you got to the light at the end. Exhaustion happens when you get stuck in an emotion." (excerpt from the book “Burnout” - by Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski
if you're in a stuck emotion, if you are able to come into that space and breathe life into it, you're able to access a part of the universe that is transformative; that you can recreate, that you can go in there and Recode. . Does that make sense? Like if you get into the Akashic records, right, you go into a level where everything has history, in the universe and all the universes in that empty space is where you can create. What you focus on grows right? In that empty space is where you can rewrite things.
So if you can harness that vital energy of the universe, and then infuse; channel the energy of that universe, that breath, into wherever you are. I think you can change in an instant what is happening in and around you.
[00:00:00] Hello. Welcome to our table. Welcome to the table. Welcome to your table. Our house is your house. Technically, this is Mark Beran's and Kelly Beran's house, but you know what I mean? Our house is your house. mi casa es tu casa
Our home is your home. Our table is your table. This is all of our table. Is that right? The English and my grammar proper. Anyway, welcome everyone to the table. Our round table. Welcome to our friendly world today. We have Katie. We have, Paul, we have Beth. We have KJ. If anyone wants to reach out to them, go to the show notes and all their links are there.
There are links are also on our website, https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/and you'll learn all about their [00:01:00] podcasts and everything that they're doing in the world. Check them out. Um, and also any, any other things, friendly reminders, anyone, anyone want to have a friendly reminder out there? Okay, man.
Hello. When did you say before we started the show, Matt, I have no idea. You said I need to take a breath. And that is ours. That is our topic today. We're talking about breath and really the reason why I wanted to talk about breath was this. So we were talking Matt and I were talking last week and I was like, oh my God.
I, I can't take anymore because we were talking about the news. I'm like what's. And I was trying to explain this country and that country, and this is happening here and all the pain here and all the pain there. And I'm like, oh my God, all this pain. And I was thinking, well, you know, our show, our round table is about being [00:02:00] interconnected.
And we talk about how wonderful it is that we are all interconnected, that we're here for one another. And I'm like, well, shoot, do you think it's a bad thing to be so interconnected? Like, is it a bad thing because we're feeling all the tragedies, all the overwhelm. do you think it's going to create apathy?
Because there's more and more destruction. There's just so much, or Can it create healing? And so I thought, you know what, that's where breath comes in. So I was thinking about breath. Okay, let me get into it. So first, the etymology and the background of what breath truly is.
I'm going to go to Sanskrit and get into the science of breath. The Sanskrit word is pranayama. The translation for pranayama is the science of breath. Swami Rama. One of my favorite books that I'm going to refer to today is "The Science of Breath".
Swami [00:03:00] Rama said that this is a very limited description of pranayama, which is the science of breath, that pranayama literally means. If you break it down, the IYAMA IYAMA is expansion extension, the manifestation of prana. Prana, if we break that down ,PRA, means first unit NA means energy.
So prana means the vital energy of the universe. Pranayama is breathing techniques. Prana, once again is the vital energy of the universe.
The breath is the vital energy of the universe.
Here's a paragraph from our friend Swami Rama, according to, his book, "The Science of Breath, A Practical Guide".
So he says:
"According to one of the schools of Indian philosophy, the whole universe was projected out of Akasha Which means [00:04:00] space space through the energy of prana. Akasha is the infinite all encompassing material of the universe. And prana is the infinite all pervading energy of the universe, cosmic energy. All the diverse forms of the universe are sustained by it. Pranayama is a science, which imparts knowledge related to the control of Parana. One who has learned to control prana has learned to control all the energies of this universe, physical and mental. He is also learned to control his body and mind."
I had to go back to that paragraph and read that again and remember everything that I have been thinking about and learning the past few years, especially because studying yoga, you know, [00:05:00] I went into it feeling broken physically and spiritually broken so much stress, which leads me to this KJ last week, recommended a book called "Burnout."
This book is so amazing. Here's what they say about emotion. I'm reading from their book.
"In short, emotions are tunnels. If you go all the way through them, you got to the light at the end. Exhaustion happens when you get stuck in an emotion."
Here's this one part that made me go, oh my God, this is exactly why we're doing this round table. This is why friendship is important. This is why we have the whole friendship movement right here.
They were talking about caretakers; how, if you're a parent or if you're constantly caretaking after someone that there's no end to the tunnel, like you're always worried.
You're always, you're always in [00:06:00] that emotion and you get stuck, right? Exhaustion happens when you get stuck in an emotion. And so they say this is a quote from their book. "Sometimes we get stuck because we can't find our way through the most difficult feelings, rage, grief, despair, helplessness, maybe too treacherous to move through alone. We get lost and need someone else, a loving presence to help us find our way."
This is exactly why we have this podcast. This is exactly why we're all here at this round table for each other. And most importantly, for, for you listening to us, that's why we are here. So as I was talking to Matt, Last week about all the horrible things that are happening in the world.
And we were saying, you know, horrible things have always been happening, but because we're, we have access to information and it's so immediate, we instantly find out [00:07:00] someone's pain and we see it, we hear it, you know, all our senses are involved in it. And there's only so much a human being can, can handle.
There's so much information that we can process and much like these ladies who wrote this book "Burnout", I'm like, what are we going to do? And so that's why we want to go back to the breath. And that's why I want to talk about it because it is transformative. And if we can go back to that one breath, we can understand why it works.
It's not just a stress reliever, there's a science behind it. And it's been studied for thousands of years by yogis; pranayama, the study of breath. When I was studying yoga and as, as my body was healing and my emotions were healing, I would read about other people who like totally got over these crazy diseases. I'm like really with [00:08:00] yoga. And because I was also experiencing the healing myself, I'm like, what is it about yoga that is doing that? So I started asking myself these questions. I'm like, what is it? What is it? What is it?
What is it? And I remember. Once again, all the things that happened studying over the years, um, going into science and, and studying biology and epigenetics, and like learning from all these scientists and doctors that are amazing out there that have completely out of the box thinking and how they talk about that everything is energy. Like this table is not really solid that we are all energy. We are all light. Nikola, Tesla said this too, that we are light. We are the light that our chair isn't really the chair. You can move through it, right? If you break everything down, if you keep magnifying it, looking at it through a microscope with higher and [00:09:00] higher magnification, everything has space in between, you know, even space is not really space.
It's just, everything is kind of fluid. I don't know how to describe
Matt: [00:09:12] it. No, no, no, absolutely. They talk about like how cells there's a lot of emptiness even inside of an
Fawn: [00:09:17] individuals cell.
Exactly. And they say that even like with genetics, the information is not in the cell. It, the information is energetic, so it's not concrete.
And it's, it's, it's quite spiritual. It is in the ether. It is in no space in no time. It's like in that empty space. And I was, as I was practicing yoga, I'm like, okay, so I'm moving our, we're moving our bodies a certain way. And each time we move into a pose, it is done with breath. And what is that? And so I started to think, okay, the space in between.
Right. Like [00:10:00] getting back to that, the space in between like the cells and everything, everything is energy, everything is light. But then if you combine that with focus, focus in focusing in on, um, a part of something like sending breath to that. And remember if we go back to the definition of breath, breath is vital energy of the universe, the vital energy of the universe.
So we combine the two. If we think about that space, that space could be the area around your hip that you may have trouble with. And as you move and you take a deep breath in and then release that breath into that space, you're sending vital energy of the universe into that space. I think that's the key guys.
I think that's the key. I was listening to someone we were interviewing. Maya Broyer, who's one of the [00:11:00] heads, original founders of The Yoga Alliance. I was listening to her podcast. There were two people that she interviewed two different episodes and they were both talking about, of course, human rights and being black, especially in the United States.
And one man was specifically talking about breath, how as black people, if we could come together and if we could breathe through the trauma, even in the midst of the trauma that you can get. And this is when, like, I started to think of my own explanation of it. But if you're in a trauma, if you're in a stuck emotion, if you are able to come into that space and breathe life into it, you're able to access a part of the universe that is transformative; that you can recreate, that you can go in there and Recode. . Does that make sense? [00:12:00] Like if you get into the Akashic records, right, you go into a level where everything has history, in the universe and all the universes in that empty space is where you can create. What you focus on grows right? In that empty space is where you can rewrite things.
So if you can harness that vital energy of the universe, and then infuse that like channel the energy of that universe, that breath into wherever you are. I think you can change in an instant what is happening in and around you. You're looking at me with a no, no, no, no.
Matt: [00:12:45] I, I get where you're going with this, but for me, Akashic records and rewriting everything and no space.
Wow. That takes me all over the place. But what I have to say, and when I have to think about the subject is, [00:13:00] when you just focus on your breath and you focus on your breath, it doesn't matter what else is going on in your life. You feel like you're, you're centered. You feel like you're kind of resetting everything.
And even if you're stressed about 27,000 things, if you just focus on breath for a minute, if that it can make all of that kind of fade away. At least for the period of time you
Fawn: [00:13:24] basically. You just said what I'm saying, but I'm getting it. I'm getting more in a metaphysical way about it. Right. I'm getting into it more of an Omni Versal way.
Is that a word? All the
Matt: [00:13:37] again, it's it, it feels too big to me. Well, I'd like to keep it
Fawn: [00:13:41] You know, I like to go there. I'm not from this planet. I like to go to other universes and bring it all in, bring it all in. We're all connected. So I'm connected to all these other universities and all the parallel universes and all the, parallel situations, all of it.
You know what I'm saying?
[00:14:00] Matt: [00:14:00] Absolutely. I, yeah.
Fawn: [00:14:01] Okay. Well, okay. Okay. Okay. Before, before I let everybody else talk, stop it. So here's the thing. Okay. Trying to make it simple. So I was talking to my friend, Laura. And I'm like, Laura, I'm just holding my breath until we get out of this situation. I was telling her about the situation we're in at the moment.
And she's like, why don't you take a breath? I'm like, Nope, I'm holding my breath until we get out of here. And she's like, why don't you open your arms up and enjoy the nice mountain area of where you are, take a deep breath and exhale, you know, stretch out your arms and just do yourself a favor and enjoy your breath right now, where you are.
Cause I'm always like, we gotta get out of here. Right. And I did it and I'm like, oh man. And then I thought of Katy, I'm like, oh Katy. Cause she loves the mountains in Colorado. I'm like the mountains, even though I'm an [00:15:00] ocean person. And it, it helped. Ever since that day, last week I'm like, ah, That's nice.
I still want to get out of here.
So Katy, you want to take it away because I love, I love Katy take every, we'll go around the table because everybody here, Paul, Beth KJ, Katie, Matt, you all are phenomenal. So I'm going to be quiet now. I'm going to let you take it away. You, you take it away first, Katy.
Katy: [00:15:34] Okay. So, last week or so we were talking too, and we're talking about, what should we talk about next?
And then all of a sudden our conversation came to breath and I'm like, that's it? That is exactly what we need to talk about because there's so much of that going on now in, in every situation where, um, all of the stress around and everybody needs to learn how to do this. [00:16:00] And. There's many books out there.
I, I counted today on, I went really quick to Amazon. There's like 15, 20 books and really interesting. There's also three books for children to learn how to breathe. And I thought, oh, that was so wonderful. One is called, "Breathe Like a Bear". And it's just a few little, , steps that you can take to teach your children how to breathe in stressful situations.
And boy, if we had that, our moms reading us books like that, when we were younger, how amazing that would be, that maybe we could grow up like that and learn how to , handle stressful situations. And so, , everybody, sometimes they're caught up in how do I do it? Like meditation? I don't know how to do it.
I can't, I'm not good at it, whatever.
there's no one way. To breathe. There's no correct way to breathe. There's a lot of things online to do, oh, do this, do that. There's this method. There's that method. I [00:17:00] listened to a lot of podcasts, , last week on it. And it's really confusing and overwhelming all the different ways you can breathe.
And so I'm like, well, let's just breathe. And then, so there's one that's, just even breathe in and out very slowly and do when you're outside walking, do 30 breaths and then there's box breathing, which I like. A lot of people do it in their own way and their own count, but it's usually like breathe in, hold your breath for four counts and then breathe out for eight counts.
And Then I was telling Fawn also that they do this, they teach us in the military, in the Navy specifically to Navy seals when they're training, when they're actually in bootcamp, they have to train, which I think is really mean. They train, they train in swimming pools and they tie weights on their ankles and they have to stand or water for an [00:18:00] ungodly amount of time and they have to learn to hold their breath.
And so there's another breathing exercise for them in that, but yet the Navy seals, they learn how to, breathe for all kinds of stressful situations, not only underwater, but they also work on land too. So this breathing is ubiquitous, for every person, every situation, for everything.
And it's just, if we would all learn how to do this, I can't imagine what a change it would be in society. And I find myself doing that all the time work, even though I'm wearing a mask, I still do it. And I can do it. It's fine. And it's just completely relieves stress so much. And there's also some other really interesting things.
When you breathe, I've actually tested myself, I've brought my blood pressure down. I have a little blood pressure cuff at home. And, if I find it, if I take it and it's high, [00:19:00] that I will take a number of breaths, just calm myself, do box breathing, do that probably at five minutes. And my blood pressure is down many points, which is really cool.
And also breathing helps to increase nitric oxide in the body, which is something really important. It's also a natural function in the body that helps relieves your endothelial lining in your arteries. So it's really good for your arterial health. There's just many, many things out there that the simple act of breathing will do for your body.
Fawn: [00:19:36] Yeah. And there are so many systems of the body like, um, like it's just, obviously there are books on it and they're thousands of years of research from people who devote their lives to it, just breathing and you can manifest everything. Everything is through the breath. You can make things appear out of thin air
Matt: [00:19:59] and [00:20:00] also in martial arts, you strike harder if your breath is right,
Fawn: [00:20:05] right.
Everything is with
Matt: [00:20:07] You actually gain physical power. If you strike, I think it's a strike on an exhale.
Katy: [00:20:12] You also mentioned earlier, just one thing really quick about controlling energy and we can control everything ourselves. So if we find ourselves getting, , stressed out in this situation, we have that control ourselves. Just remember that, that we can control our energy when we get out of sync, when we get afraid of something. We can control it ourselves. I liked when you mentioned that in the beginning, cause like that's a key point. That's an exciting key point that we have control ourselves.
Fawn: [00:20:41] Woman. You are goddess, speak away, whatever you want to say. Yeah. I'm finished. I'm finished. Yeah. Are you okay? Paul seems like he's doing extra breathing and he seems like, are you awake?
Paul: [00:20:59] Yeah. [00:21:00] Uh, yeah, I'm just lying on the floor. Um, it's funny. You're talking about that box breathing. I was doing it while I was lying on the floor. Nice. Um, and I want to do some bear breathing as well.
Fawn: [00:21:14] What is bear breathing? You guys, you KJ was like, could you look like she knew what that book was? KJ. Do you know about that book?
KJ: [00:21:21] I do.
I do. Mostly just because, um, as Katie had mentioned, there may not be as many resources available as you think, at least for children, when I feel like that might be the most
key piece of it is to have all of us remember and sort of revert to relearning or approaching things with the curiosity of a child.
And so I had remembered looking up and seeing that book before, thinking, oh my gosh, this is the same, like Katie. I was just like, oh, I wish I wish I had something like that when I was a kid.
Fawn: [00:21:57] Yeah, we are. We have, we have, um, a [00:22:00] ton of yoga books and a ton of children's yoga books. And there is one beautiful book and I don't know why, but I'm totally attracted to whales and dolphins of course, being an ocean person.
But there is one book. Called breathe. And as the, the whales and stuff, I've packed it away. Cause you know, I've been packing, but it's beautiful. There are some great resources out there, but it's really weird how like our kids, I don't know if most kids are like this, but like they don't breathe and they get mad at me when I'm like, take a deep breath, they get mad at me and then they refuse to breathe.
It's like, it's a fight. Yeah.
Katy: [00:22:40] And Fawn, once excuse me. One thing though, a lot of kids breathe by through their mouth and that is, uh, that's very damaging. You should be nose breathing. Mouth breathing can cause many, many problems. So, um, they even have out now for people to tape their mouth shut at [00:23:00] night. Um, it's, it's specific tape for that.
And then to learn how to breathe through your mouth at night, because then you get more oxygen to the brain. Um, so mouth breathing is very dangerous. So you're,
Fawn: [00:23:13] you're right on that. It's also, I'm so sorry, Paul, but it's also a way to hyperventilate. Like if you read fast through your mouth, there's actually a technique.
If I'm correct, it was a year, a few years ago, they would make you do mouth breathing really fast for a really long time. And it takes you to this crazy stress level and it releases something I'm like, I don't want to take part in this. Like, it was totally the opposite of my training, but it's what they do to release something.
Have you guys heard of that? Like there's this group in Costa Rica, especially, and they also mess around with what's that the Iowasca they do all this stuff, but like this particular form of breathing, it's like really fast [00:24:00] and really deep and it's constant constant. It sounds like you're hyperventilating the fire breath.
Yeah, but it goes higher. It goes on forever and ever.
Paul: [00:24:12] Yeah. See Kate, you know, this breath of fire there you go.
Katy: [00:24:15] Yeah. But breath of fire. Isn't that? That's your nose. Is that right?
I forget. Now you guys.
Paul: [00:24:23] Yeah. Well,
Fawn: [00:24:27] yeah,
Paul: [00:24:29] I think it's funny though, that they have specific lip tape for when you go to sleep, it's using like normal tape.
What's this what's so special about this lip thing,
Katy: [00:24:39] because it's not as adhesive as the other lip tapes. So it doesn't hurt when you pull it off.
Fawn: [00:24:47] Wouldn't it be a choking hazard?
Katy: [00:24:49] Oh, no, not at all.
Okay. No, no. It stays on. I've done. It really. It stays up. Yeah.
It stays on.
Paul: [00:24:58] It's funny. I was chatting to my mate [00:25:00] Jacob and we were talking about breath and he was like, he said a statement. He was like, yeah, it's fun. Isn't it Paul that not enough people breathe. And just like that in a sentence is, is bonkers in it. Cause that's like our main
Fawn: [00:25:15] and we know what we don't breathe.
Especially because we experience trauma. We tend to hold ourselves and not breathe. And I wonder where that comes from. Why do we do that? Because it really should be the other way around every time you're experiencing trauma, you need to breathe, but why don't we hold our breath like? Are you trying to be quiet?
Paul: [00:25:35] suppose it's like a tool, isn't it like using your brain? You need to learn to use it,
Fawn: [00:25:40] but isn't it like instinct? Like what is that like? It must be, it's like toddlers,
Beth: [00:25:44] hold the breath door there. So that's not tall is that's the most get instinct. I don't know why they do that, but they do,
Fawn: [00:25:54] but like check it out.
Like you experienced something in a split second, you tend to go (Fawn gasps and pauses, holding her [00:26:00] breath) and then you look around with your eyes. Why do we hold our breath while we're doing that?
Paul: [00:26:05] Learning to not hold our breaths is learning, uh, with the tool kind of thing. Cause yeah, naturally we do hold our breath,
don't we? It's like the same when we do exercise, if we're lifting something really heavy, we'll hold our breath. We won't breathe, but it's actually makes, makes us stronger and push harder and stuff like that. So, yeah. I mean, you know, the, the light you learn about all these lovely little bear breath books and stuff like that.
If we learn to breathe through it, it's like when I'm, when I'm personal training someone, I'll always, you know, we're talking about the breath like key. There's one thing I want to talk about. I learned a little meditation exercise that, you know, the listeners can do at home if they want with their, with their friends and whatnot.
Um, it's. an exercise I learned through Jack Kornfield he's, um, a Buddhist [00:27:00] meditation master. And, it is quite simple. So you have one person lying down, like I am at the moment and that person will be breathing just naturally. And the other person will be kneeling next to them and they'll watch their tummy going up and down and their chest going up and down.
Um, and when they're going, when it's going down and they're breathing out, the other person will make just like this noise, we just go. Um, and then like they breathe in again, they breathe out and again, um, and, um, and then, yeah, they just feel like connection, beautiful little excercise for that,
KJ: [00:27:41] I was just having a natural response and actually, I think that's what I'll probably touch on today. A couple of times is that, we have our nervous system and when it's broken down to the parasympathetic and the sympathetic, systems, there's automatic reflexes and responses.
And so one of the questions [00:28:00] was why, why do we do that? We don't even realize we're doing it. It's like, it's a part of being an animal being, uh, this is our instinctual process and the way that, uh, the, the systems work together, is to consistently look for and scan for safety. , And the body, even just without having any sort of a voluntary or, , intentional, uh, uh, thoughts around it, it will naturally respond in the way that it's known for millions, millions of
Fawn: [00:28:34] years.
Hold on. So are we like the goats, the fainting goats, you know, like they get startled and then they like faint and they look like they're dead. Is that what we're doing? We're trying to look like we're dead. So the, the, the predators don't get us cause we dead. And one of the
KJ: [00:28:52] reactors obviously surf there's fight, fight, fight flight, or freeze.
And that's a part of the freeze response. And there's also a [00:29:00] Fawn response as well. Interesting. We
Fawn: [00:29:01] can, are you serious? Are you joking? No. I'm sorry. What is the fawn response? What's that,
KJ: [00:29:09] oh, I'll get more into it in a second. But before I lose my thought, because what I was just saying was so powerful. He was speaking about using the tones of our voice to match our mates or match who are with us.
That is a form of social engagement and safety as well. We're looking to see who is within our tribe, who is, within our space. Are we safe with this person or creature? And so one of the ways we can do that is by making tones, uh, tones to commerce selves, as well as the breathing.
And then when we hear it echoed and engaged and, , responded to with another creature nearby, that is us saying, and our bodies understanding I'm okay, I'm safe. I'm surrounded by my [00:30:00] ilk. It's pretty amazing though, that it's almost a natural thing. We don't even realize we're doing it.
Say say the way that we change the tone, when we speak to like children or animals, the way that we change our tone, that is our way we w the way we cou with babies or, or again, small
Fawn: [00:30:18] animal. Oh my God. Like when you see something cute, you go, oh,
KJ: [00:30:22] completely change. Yes. And your breathing. Right. And that is all a part of the social engagement and the safety survey system.
, it's all, it's all with breath.
Fawn: [00:30:34] Beth, I want to hear everything you got to say, woman, the priestess of prosperity, the priestess of possibility, Beth Hewitt.
Beth: [00:30:44] Thank
you Fawn. I have written a poem while you will talk
Fawn: [00:30:50] about breath.
Beth: [00:30:52] So at the beginning you said emotions, going through a tunnel. So immediately with my [00:31:00] obviously visual head, I had this train coming to my mind. So this is my poem. I've never read it out loud. It might sound really silly, but this is my painting. This is my paper, and this is what I've written for you.
So it is called each breath in the emotional tunnel of life. We breathe. Each station stop is our chance to breathe. Each passenger we meet is our chance to pause. Each passing outside scene in our courage is another vision to behold. Like the train breathe, breathe, breath, breath, stop, breathe, breathe, breath, breath, live, breathe, breathe, [00:32:00] breath, breath, love.
Fawn: [00:32:04] This is me snapping
our beautiful priestess. I love you so much that
Beth: [00:32:15] that'd be a new feature
of the show. I might do a little poem every week.
Fawn: [00:32:18] You know what? That's it? I love it. Yes. Beth. That was extraordinary. Everyone applaud Beth for
all the countries that are listening to us right now. Isn't that amazing? Thank you.
Beth: [00:32:39] So that's what I've got to say on breath today. I do think what Paul said though, about, um, why as human beings, do we find it so hard to, to breathe or to think about how we meditate or taking up yoga or something? Why does that seem such an alien thing for us to, for some people to be able to do [00:33:00] when it's just a natural thing
that we do
Fawn: [00:33:03] it is.
And I think it's one of those involuntary things that obviously happens. Otherwise we wouldn't be alive, but to use it as a tool and to use it for manifestation is, is the key here. And that's what all the yogis, thousands of years ago we're doing. And it's all with the breath. And, you know, like I just, I don't know, this just came to me just, just now, but. I don't know why it came into my head. If things come into my head, I have to speak it out loud. So you may go, well, what does that have to do with what we're talking about? What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? I don't know, but here it goes. Uh, I was seeing a therapist.
It was after Elle was born and we had a traumatic time in the hospital. We both almost died. And for many, many, many months after, um, I don't know about you Matt, but like, [00:34:00] but do you remember? I could not speak without wailing if even though I am all choked up, but like, I couldn't talk about anything that had to do anywhere near the topic of our baby ELLE being born and all the stuff that happened at the hospital without just...
I, I, I couldn't speak because the tears and like no words would come out. Just sounds of me wailing, as I'm trying to explain to them what happened at the hospital. And so, so I had to go to therapy and I was with a psychologist and she, she had me go back to the one. Well, the, one of the moments that stood out to me at the hospital and she told me to tell her how I felt like I can't breathe.
I just, I can't, I'm standing there. I can't breathe. And I don't know what she said after that, but that's all I remember. And I remember telling her I can't breathe. [00:35:00] That's how it feels. I freaking can't breathe. The fear. The trauma is so harsh that I'm just stuck in that space forever. I can't breathe. And I know that's the term that's, that's resounded in our society, especially lately.
Yes, let's move past that. Like, let's try to remind each other to even if it's in the past, a memory is, uh, when you, when you think of a memory, it is, uh, another, uh, universe that's talking to you. So a memory still exists and you're in communication with that another time with that other universe, the parallel universe, whatever kind of universe, right?
Past universe, future universe parallel. All the infinite universes in between all that. When you have a memory, [00:36:00] I personally believe that you're in communication with that world. And even if it's yourself stuck in this moment in time, it is trying to tell you something. So when you have a memory like that, maybe the reason why I'm telling you this story about us in the hospital was because I have to go back
to that Fawn back then and, and breathe for her and bring breath to that situation and bring breath to my lungs and bring breath to our daughter and to you Matt and release it, like clear up that, that shackle that is got me stuck in that moment of trauma. And I think that breath can help to dissipate and break free from that jail, that horrible, um, whatever you want to call it.
I hate it. When you guys get quiet. After I reveal some hardcore stuff, everyone gets quiet. Don't do that. It freaks me out. Make a noise, any noise, anybody say something.
Beth: [00:37:17] Just like giving you space.
Fawn: [00:37:19] I don't want space. It freaks me out.
Matt: [00:37:21] She always gets mad at me. If I'm too quiet. Oh, what am I talk too much? It's bad if I don't talk enough,
Fawn: [00:37:27] what is it bad when you talk too much? I've never said you talk too much. Never. Why do you say that? No, it's when you get quiet, freaks me out.
I don't like it. And you all are still quiet. Okay. Should I not have said that? Is it too much? Cause I worry because sometimes I get too emotional. I'll say something and then I'll never see the person again. Like it was too much. Did I just vomit all over everybody? And you're like, I don't want you to do with
Paul: [00:37:53] It's lovely! Lovely. I mean, silence is good though. Getting comfortable with [00:38:00] silence. It's never a bad thing. It's like, you know, it makes it, the silence makes it more real. I think. And people get a bit like freaked out by
Beth: [00:38:08] I think it's respect when you pause after when somebody say something. You know, if we would just start to rumble up, but what you've just said or change it.
Paul: [00:38:15] I think she's chatting again,
Fawn: [00:38:25] Matt, since this one, last one was about you. Do you have anything to contribute?
Matt: [00:38:31] Nothing but a change of subject, so, no.
Fawn: [00:38:34] Okay. You don't want to talk about it? Of course
Matt: [00:38:36] not. I'm a guy. Come on.
Beth: [00:38:39] Let's hear about the Fawn.
Katy: [00:38:41] Yeah. I was just going to say
Fawn: [00:38:43] what's the fawn thing. Yes. Okay.
KJ: [00:38:48] I was trying to find some, some words that that would help.
It's actually, it's another form of survival and it's using adaptation and [00:39:00] appeasing to survive. Um, it's been noticed in, in children Unfortunately, maybe in abusive situations where they preemptively try to side and an appease with, with the, the potential abuser, um, to, so that they could either a prepare for what might be coming or prevent what they think might be coming, whether it's a physical punishment or, or, you know, something along those lines.
And so it's sort of a deferring, an appeasing, but also mirroring and adapting, like almost anticipating what might come , and try and agree with and, and sort of bring down the, um, escalation by almost by saying you're right.I see you. I see you. So
Fawn: [00:39:53] that's the fawn technique. It's
KJ: [00:39:56] the fawn
Fawn: [00:39:56] response, fun response.
Matt: [00:39:59] you're [00:40:00] fawning over somebody as a verb, which means you're just trying to like anything I can do. What can I say? And you know, that internalization in that really trying to, trying to throw it out there before the other person knows that you feel any different.
Fawn: [00:40:16] Is it similar to no resistance? Like if someone's coming to hit you, you don't come fist to fist with it, but you flow with it.
Is it the same as the idea? I would
Matt: [00:40:27] say no, no, no, not, not at all. LikeAikido. In Aikido you're still completely in your own body and you're still walking the walk that you're doing. You're still, you still have a destination. You're not allowing the person to change your destination. In this case you're it feels like you're changing yourself.
You're changing your opinions. You're changing your to make the other person, maybe like you.
Fawn: [00:40:49] Beth, are you as disappointed as I am Beth,
Matt: [00:40:52] I was really hoping.
Fawn: [00:40:54] I was hoping it would be a cool strengthening fawn thing. I'm like, yeah, the fawn is [00:41:00] here because you and I have a connection with fawns, some wicked
KJ: [00:41:03] mic.
That's what I was going to say. You actually can turn this to be pretty impressive survival skill. Um, but yeah, so that's just one more reaction, but when you would ask, are we the fainting goats? Are we, are we playing possum? Are we playing dead? That's that's also the freeze and the shutdown response. And so another response would be to, okay, let me start a match with you.
So that may be, maybe we can diffuse the situation so it can be, it can be a, um, we could turn it and make it a pretty cool skill. It's just, yeah, it's just one more reaction. But the body has all of these tools in its tool belt, almost instinctually automatically. But we often don't have a chance to enact that until we pause.
And how do we pause? It's that breath it's that break in between a response or a stimulus and the response, what can we [00:42:00] do in that in between time? And that's where breath comes in is key.
Fawn: [00:42:06] So survival. Ah, .
, but then certain cases of heightened, uh, emotion, heightened trauma. Are we able to turn things around and maybe if we're not, can we have other people breathe for us? Like a prayer? Like, can we breathe and bring health and wellbeing to another part of the world?
When we hear the bad news, when we hear the atrocities that are happening. Can we breathe and change that situation? Is it a prayer? What do you think Katy?
Katy: [00:42:44] yes, it's a prayer. It is definitely a prayer. But the problem is, is teaching people this, uh, is that going to be their first response to do that? And no, a lot of our first response [00:43:00] is to defend yourself. So it's going to be a long time before things like that breathing is going to be the response to the normal response for people to, to do.
Um, because when you're threatened, you know, you're going to hit back. You're going to do whatever to protect yourself. So, which is normal. You're responding to something that you have to protect yourself cause you don't want to die. So it's going to be, it's a hard, it's a hard task ahead for everybody.
Fawn: [00:43:33] But you know right before the show, you and I were on the phone and you said to me, this is so easily done. Breathing. It's it's simple. Yeah.
Katy: [00:43:45] It's natural. What do we, what's the first thing that we do when we come into this world, we breathe that the doctor, you know, shakes us, hits our butt. So what, what do we do?
We breathe. They want us to breathe. So it's the first it is. [00:44:00] It's so natural, but it's not natural for people. You know, remember when we were talking about holding our breath, that's the first thing we do. When we get scared, we hold our breath and are under stress. You know, I've noticed that too. It's like, oh my God, I was holding my breath.
I've got to breathe now. I'll feel better.
Fawn: [00:44:18] You know, I've been thinking about this, you know, how you blow out a candle and I, okay. I wonder because I, I catch myself doing this and I'm like, why am I doing this?
I'm watching. So I, I watched the news quite often. I've been glued to the TV. I'm ashamed to admit, but I'm looking at all the news. I'm like, I'm trying to have a, I don't know what the word is, radar for what's happening. And so when I'm looking at something and I'm an empath. I can't watch any movies where people die. I can't, unless it's martial arts related, [00:45:00] then I'm like, cool, not that I want to see someone die, but do you know what I mean?
It's martial artsy and I'm not talking about kill Billy there. I can't watch that stuff. I, I have no respect or any, any admiration for any of those movies, but like, I don't know some really good movies, like, um, why am I blanking? Um, that that's not no,
Matt: [00:45:26] no Lord of the rings martialartsy
Fawn: [00:45:29] there was no, you know, with, uh, In the trees and the, you know, the one with that.
Thank you everybody.
oh my God. I love those movies. All right. Anything Bruce Lee. Um, I forgot what I was saying. What happened? Fun, friendly movies. So it's weird then I'm watching the news nonstop, but as I'm [00:46:00] watching it, I'm usually I'm doing the dishes. The kitchen is my place of alchemy, which is interestingly enough, where we record our podcast is in the kitchen.
Like this is our alchemy cave. And so I'm watching the news . And when I see something, I catch myself taking a deep breath and like how I'm blowing out a candle. I breathe like. I sent it to the TV and I'm like, am I sending breath? Like, what am I doing? Can we send breath to other places?
Okay. I digress. Why are you looking at me like that? Okay. But do you know what I mean? Like I, can we get into a metaphysical, like off the wall tangent about it? Yes. We know how to breathe. We have the boxing. We have, like, there are a million techniques for breathing, but really like how Paul said to make sure, first of all, you're doing it properly.
Like to get that full breath. If you want to [00:47:00] know that you're doing it, lie down on the ground and breathe and your stomach should be going up and down. And especially as women we're taught to not show our stomach and not to have a round stomach, your stomach needs to be flat. So God, forbid, you stick out your stomach, but that's how you should be breathing.
Your stomach needs to come out. And then as you exhale, it goes in, right. So if you want to practice that lie down on your, back on the, on, on the ground and see your stomach go up and down, that's that's the healing breath. So like number one, homework to do was just start with that.
Matt: [00:47:37] I want to say, as far as you were talking about sending breath for a moment, right. Um, you know, if you believe that we're all interconnected and even if you don't watch this, uh, but if you believe that we're all interconnected, then obviously sending good vibes or sending, you know, peaceful intent or whatever, you know, theoretically will [00:48:00] help.
And here's something to really think about in American football. Uh, bring it to, uh, bring it to a very masculine kind of a thing. There is this very real thing called a home field advantage. And why, why does that exist? Why is that so powerful? It's worth seven points or sometimes some people say nine, but I think it's seven, but anyways, which is an interesting number of points just because you're playing at home.
Well, why is that? And part of it, I think is definitely because you're sleeping in your own bed that night. You know, you, you know where the locker room is, you know where everything is, but I think another large part of that is you're in a stadium, surrounded by people cheering you on, just because so many people are very present in wishing you, well, that's worth three or four points.
Are you kidding me? Unless we're connected.
So that's my argument for why I believe we are connected.
Beth: [00:48:54] I've got a crazy thought connection. So I've often thought this is going to sound really weird, but you know, like [00:49:00] how in England, we always saying, God, save the queen. And like she's old, she's been on this for a long time. And like Victoria, before it was on the throne for a long time, I do feel like because everybody's singing that often, that that's why she's got this longevity.
That's just my thing. I mean, if you look through history, I'm sure all this Kings and Queens died much earlier, but I don't know. I just feel like there's something
Fawn: [00:49:25] in that. Absolutely. See, this is where I want to take it. This the supernatural stuff, breath is supernatural. I mean, look at what Swami Rama said once again.
And I lost the page. What was that? What'd I say breath was you guys anybody remember?
Paul: [00:49:41] Um, the power source, the energy or the loveliness
Fawn: [00:49:47] vital energy of the universe. Very good. Everybody.
Matt: [00:49:51] I take notes.
Fawn: [00:49:56] I take notes, the vital energy of the [00:50:00] universe. Yeah. And it think about it. Like, I always imagine a grandmother or someone who's compassionate and caring, who's powerful. When they hear someone going through a trauma, like, let's say a kid comes, they have a skinned knee, and there's blood. Usually you hear this, like, like there's a breath that comes from the mother or the grandmother.
Do you know what I'm talking about that breath? Like, or you hear bad news. You're like, you're exhaling. What is that exhale? It could be two things and maybe it's both. One could be, maybe you're experiencing the trauma cause you have that empathy and you're releasing but are you, are you sending life force energy to, the trauma ?
You're sending healing energy to the trauma from your own breath, kind of like mouth to mouth resuscitation, but on an energetic plane. Do you know what I mean? Does that make [00:51:00] sense? I
KJ: [00:51:01] think it makes sense and I wouldn't a hundred percent agree with its existence.
I have something I may have shared this with you.
Fawn and, and Beth, but I have a planner That I've actually come to call it's my divining rod, because whenever I sit down and write a person's name or an intent in it, it comes true and or that person reaches out to me. And so it's along those lines of what we were speaking about. And then, and I love Matt's example as well.
When we actually focus our attention. So there's like this brain and heart cohesion all in intention, right? So if we, if we focus our intention on say remembering a moment or a person, or, um, a pet or place that brings up already a healing, a healing, um, comforting, um, Energy to us. And then we think [00:52:00] about that and then also think of regenerative, thought or emotion in response, like happiness, wonder gratitude.
Why wouldn't we, we do a gratitude practice. Um, it seems to actually physiologically, open it up, , open it up in ourselves and perhaps for the person that we're sending the intention out for, or the, the emotion and the place that we're remembering. It's, it's almost like an invitation, like a calling like, hello, this is here. I'm bringing back awareness to it. Is there a connector out there also looking for for that touch point. And so if I think about my niece, my little niece, three years old, um, when I do an exercise like this, where I'm just breathing and thinking of her, sending her energy, then more often than not her mom will call me or text me and say, Hey, violet, Violet's outside playing. I want to show you a picture of what she's doing. And [00:53:00] so I can't tell you how many times that's happened, where I've written down and had a moment of thought and sending Goodwill and intention towards a particular person. And that person either calls, writes, or there's some sort of responding connection to it.
So I absolutely believe that there is, there is this connector wave that we are all on.
Fawn: [00:53:24] Yeah. KJ. I, I told you guys, I told you and Beth, but you guys, oh, I'll admit it. I'm taking. Okay. I feel like, you know, sometimes I feel like I've lost my special powers. So once in a while I'm like, I'll reach out to someone.
So recently I reached out to the psychic in Santa Barbara and I'm taking, I took, uh, I took, I I'm scared to like admit it out loud. So I'm taking a class from the psychic and when I was a little kid, I could bend [00:54:00] spoons and stuff. And I didn't even know it was a thing. Like I did not know it was a party trick.
I did not know other people were doing it, but it was like, remember Beth and KJ, like when we first became friends, we were talking about the weird stuff that we did when we were babies. Like the weird thoughts that we had. Well, one of the things I did in diapers was I would try to bend the spoon and I would try to, um, change the, the, the second, like tick, tick, tick, tick on the clock.
I would try to slow it down. And so anyway, Matt is giving me this weird look like not giving you any little. Oh my God. We need to shoot video. So the audience can see how you look at me when I'm talking. It like totally throws me off. Anyway, what was I saying?
I totally forgot what I was going to say. Oh, here's the thing. So I met and taking a class from the psychic. And so she's teaching people, how to bend the spoons and it's really no big deal. Like you can like everyone in the whole audience bent the spoon on the first try [00:55:00] and then they held it up to the camera.
Like, will you saw the spoon before and after? And within one minute, the craziest shapes these. Heavy silver spoons. It is crazy. It makes me want to laugh. It's funny, but it's so true. So, um, one of the things, oh, so she has different techniques and it's all to help you connect to the universe, help you connect to one another, you know, to get into that field of interconnectedness anyway.
So what you just said, KJ is exactly when she teaches. So what you do is, um, there is in this one exercise, she had to team up with a partner so you can read minds, right? So the process is you, you imagine coming at the top of your head, the purest purest light coming in through the top of your head. And it just goes into every part of your body, your [00:56:00] heart expanded, expanded, expanded, and that light expanded outside your body.
And then send that light to the person. It could be the person in front of you, your partner, that you're practicing with, or someone that you're thinking about. And that connects the, that that's your connection. And that's how you can travel. You can astral trout full, you can like have a connection of psychic connection with someone.
It's from the heart. Our heart is the second brain. Like they're researching it now. The heart is the brain. It has as many neurons, if not more than the brain. So that there's the technique of heart heart-brain connection. It's a real thing and that's how you do it. It's really simple. So you just have feel good emotions and make it so strong and feel your heart. So like, if you could put your hand on your heart, feel the feel good emotions, something that like just makes you feel good. There is great power in that.
[00:57:00] And at the same time, slow your breathing down and stay with that powerful vision, that powerful emotion that makes you happy. So once you get into that space, combining it with a slow breath after like seven, very slow breaths, you can ask anything of your heart and you get the accurate answer.
So you say at the end, you say heart of mine, where am I going to be living heart of mine? What is the outcome of the situation? Heart of mine. Like you can ask it anything you want. I can't think of anything right now, but that's the way you do it. And it's exactly what you just described with your niece.
And we all do it all the time.
KJ: [00:57:49] I was going to
say, this is your answer here. We're wondering if it's possible and what we can do.
That's one thing we can do.
Fawn: [00:57:55] There's this quote that I've been sending around the past few [00:58:00] episodes and I'll close with that. And if anyone wants to say anything after that, please, please don't let me cut you off.
But here's a quote from Hippocrates. He says: "there is one common flow, one common breathing, all things are in sympathy." There is one common flow one common breathing, all things are in sympathy. - Hippocrates.
Katy: [00:58:25] Very nice
Fawn: [00:58:26] Paul, are you awake?
Paul: [00:58:28] Um, yeah. Um, um, uh, I'm practicing all these every time you guys keep talking about stuff. I keep practicing it, like the meta and the light and the, and the heart. So, yeah, I'm, um, I'm on it. I'm in it. Boom. Interesting. Yeah, there, you're talking about, um, uh, lights, um, like connections and stuff like that.
So one of the meditation techniques I teach my clients is [00:59:00] called, um, the Metta practice.
It's a light and love practice. That's what I know love and kindness practice. Sorry. Um, so, you know, when you breathe in, you get the ball of white energy and center of your chest gets bigger. And when you breathe out, you're sending energy of love, kindness, and acceptance to like your whole body or the other person in front of you.
And, um, you know, you, you get it from inside your chest because the universe is inside of you. And that's where you get like most of your strength from sort of thing. And then you do a little, um, um, a little saying inside your heads, when you breathe in the book, it's bright and strong, you say to yourself, may you be well, and then you breathe out, sending the energy to the person you say, may, you know, peace sort of thing.
And, um, so there's, there's the extended one. So you do yourself, then you do a friend, then a stranger. Then someone you don't particularly like not someone you hate, but someone you, you know, you're a bit funny about, [01:00:00] and then you do everyone and that gives you connection and ground grounded-ness and it stops resentments coming into your head.
So when you go into meditating, after being in the, just in the presence and the moment, it, settles your mind and it doesn't let resentments so much come in and try and distract you and all that, all that stuff. So that's a beautiful practice that
Fawn: [01:00:24] it is a beautiful practice.
If some, if you're bothered by someone, you need to feel that you need to feel that rage before you go into that meditation, that meditation that you just described is incredibly powerful. So you have to be careful with that. Dr.
Mario Martinez, who's studied the Tibetan monks and found that they're the largest population of, people with diabetes. It's because they go into that loving kindness, meditation, and not having, uh, to feel their rage, first, you need to feel the [01:01:00] rage against these, these MFS that have just messed you up.
You need to clear that first before you go into that meditation.
Paul: [01:01:10] Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, you, you wanna, you wanna embrace every emotion don't you, you don't want to push
Fawn: [01:01:17] once again comes back to breath, right? We need to breathe it out. And one of the things that helped me get over. A major resentment and rage is this prayer that was given to me.
And when it was given to me, I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. First of all, my list is like super long. If I like, if it was on, if it was a scroll, I would open it and we'll just roll down the hallway. This will be
Matt: [01:01:40] the list of people who have wronged you. Right.
Fawn: [01:01:42] People who had wronged us at our wedding.
So just one day of wrongness one day. And so I went to a psychic who was really a psychologist for me that day. I went to a psychic and I wanted to know the future, but she's like, Ooh, you got rage. I'm [01:02:00] like, okay, listen here. You need to hear, she gave me a piece of paper with this prayer on it. And I'm like, lady, I am not religious like that.
Right. Cause I thought it was some like. Hardcore hardcore, like Christian thing. I'm like, oh my God, seriously. She was like, do it. Um, and then I, once I got over that like religious thing, I'm like, but there's a long list here. It's a lot of people and she's like, yeah. I'm like, oh man. Okay. So here's the thing that made me get over the rage.
Okay. So pick out a name, any name? Jane? You know what? No, let me pick something else. What's the name we have given the woman in society that calls the police all the time. Karen. Alright, so let's take Karen. All right. Here's what we do: Lord. And it always makes me laugh. When I say Lord, I don't know why.
Lord, [01:03:00] Lord, Lord, please help me to forgive Karen. Lord, please help Karen to forgive me. This is where they lost me. I'm like what? I didn't do anything in this person, but whatever. Just say the prayer anyway. So let me start over Lord. Please help me to forgive Karen. Please help Karen to forgive me. Please help us to forgive each other, please.
Lord. Thank you, Lord. So I had to say this for every single name on my scroll; the huge list. And I got to tell you I was not a believer, but each time I did it, I felt lighter. And to this day, like I said, I start with Lord and I start cracking up. Lord!. I have to do a say Lord. And like, like instantaneously, the whole prayer is already done in my spirit.
Just starting with Lord.
KJ: [01:03:55] It's a miracle!!!
Fawn: [01:03:59] It is. [01:04:00]
KJ: [01:04:00] That's healin' for ya!.
Fawn: [01:04:06] And I don't mean to offend anyone that's totally religious. Okay. It just, I'm just saying it freaked me out at first, but even if you don't believe, just trust, trust in the breath trust and all that. So is that it? You guys, anything else? Okay. So I'm going to repeat the thing again. There is one common flow, one, common breathing, all things are in sympathy.
Thank you for everything, everybody. Thank you. Thank you, Katy. Thank you, Pauly. Thank you, KJ. Thank you, Beth. Thank you, Matt. Thank you Fawn why don't you do it like that? What do you mean? It's like a jokeyou're sarcastic. You let out your breath, your star. Yep.
[01:05:00] I think that's another issue. But anyway, thank you everyone for listening. We will see you next time. Talk to you later. Talk to you in a few days.
Adios. Adios. That'd be awesome.
psychotherapist, musician , podcast host
Kimberly "KJ" Nasrul is a licensed psychotherapist and musician nursing an obsession with words...and a gift for making grilled cheese sandwiches. She helps healers and essential frontline workers recover their resilient stories via music, art and compassionate conversations so that they can continue to uplift and heal their communities.
When she's not planning her next traveling adventure, kJ can be found on her podcast Stories of Astonishing Light jamming with musicians, artists and trailblazers about creativity and mental wellness accessibility for all communities.
KJ’s a Disaster Mental Health Responder (Psychological First Aid) and Quality Improvement Specialist for personal health privacy (so sexy, right?).
Spiritual Performance Coach for Life and Business, author, podcast host
Beth Hewitt is a Spiritual Performance Coach for Life and Business and the Host of the Visualise You Show. She believes our past experiences hold clues to what we can create in our futures and is passionate about helping others realise the same. She specialises in creative visualisation, scripting, gratitude, and supporting others to develop a positive mindset. Her book the Power of Scripting teaches you to gain clarity and take back control of your life.
musician, meditation teacher, personal trainer and nutrition coach
I am at first and foremost a musician. Music is how the area of my heart which concentrates on expression and art speaks. I have also studied and taught meditation for years and earned my qualifications as a personal trainer and nutrition coach. I love healing people in so many ways and being on the journey of self-love with them.
Health and Nutrition GURU
A graduate of Rocky Mountain School for Botanical studies with a degree in Western Herbalism, Katy is one of the wisest, kindest and most compassionate people you will meet.