May 5, 2021

CONNECTED - Roundtable #2 - Greetings From Around the World - How we connect and see each other

CONNECTED - Roundtable #2 - Greetings From Around the World - How we connect and see each other

This Roundtable we discuss all the beautiful and the variety of greetings from around the world. We ask the questions we normally ask in our culture like “How are you” and go deep into the answers we tend to get like “Fine”, which in some circles actually means Freaked-out Insecure Neurotic and Emotional. Why do we ask blank questions and expect a blank response? Do we really care? Is it just noise? Are we truly aware of how we are feeling and how others are feeling? Are we ignoring clues and signs that someone really needs us? How can we be better? How can we be authentically open and kind? How can we change the cultural norms that have become so automatic and without insight and create a more present relationship with those around us?


This Roundtable we discuss all the beautiful and the variety of greetings from around the world. We ask the questions we normally ask in our culture like “How are you” and go deep into the answers we tend to get like “Fine”, which in some circles actually means Freaked-out Insecure Neurotic and Emotional. Why do we ask blank questions and expect a blank response? Do we really care? Is it just noise? Are we truly aware of how we are feeling and how others are feeling? Are we ignoring clues and signs that someone really needs us? How can we be better? How can we be authentically open and kind? How can we change the cultural norms that have become so automatic and without insight and create a more present relationship with those around us?

 

TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Welcome dear friend welcome to our round table. This is connected. We are interconnected. Thank you for joining us. We are a table of friends and we're all interconnected. We are connected  here to create an awareness of the family that we truly are.

 KJ: [00:00:18] Hi everybody. , I'm KJ. I've met some of you before. I've hung out with Fawn and Matt on a couple of occasions and it was probably the most fun of my life. And so I'm so pleased to be here today. I'm chatting with our friends at this round table. , the discussions that we can come up with when we're not hitting record are fantastic.

So it's pretty wonderful that we're hitting record and  letting folks in to the fun that we're having. So a little about me, I'm a licensed psychotherapist and I have had a lifelong obsession with a couple of things. One of them being words and definitions and another [00:01:00] being cheese. And so we could talk about cheese and words at length at another time. possibly cheesy words (KJ's podcast: Stories of Astonishing Light with KJ Nasru‪l),

Fawn: [00:01:06], grilled, grilled cheese sandwiches.

KJ: [00:01:10] That's right. That's right. I have. Perfect. Well, I'll be so bold to say that I've gotten very, very good at making grilled cheese sandwiches. And so we can definitely chat about that.

Fawn: [00:01:21] comfort food,

KJ: [00:01:22] yeah. So in my, in my, in my spare time,

Fawn: [00:01:26] spare

KJ: [00:01:27] time. Okay. So in my spare time, I

, I do a podcast called stories of astonishing light and that.

Is a space a lot like this in which I exchanged stories with healers and artists and musicians and, , visionaries about the stories that we know, the stories that are about us, the stories that we see.

Fawn: [00:01:52] We're so happy to have you all of you. And I think it's going to be,  like musical chairs because there's a group of us, a group [00:02:00] of friends, and we're here as family, your family, our friends listening, you are family. And I'm so excited. And I say musical chairs because there are some other people that want to come talk with us and have a seat at our round table.

So stay tuned folks because every week we're going to have even more amazingness coming up.

Brooke: [00:02:22] Well, I don't know how I follow that, but I'm going to give it a shot, uh, between KJ and Fawn and Matt. , they're all just amazing people. My name's Brooke Voris and I'm a certified wedding planner. But more than that, I've come to realize that I needed to find a way to give back to our community.

And I felt like this was one of the most amazing ways to do that because my podcast "Cheers to You with  Brooke Voris" , brought me to Matt and Fawn. ,  it brought me to realize how many different people that are in the [00:03:00] world and how many different ways that we impact those people every day. So I am so excited to be part of this group with all of these amazing people.  I'm  looking forward to being part of this family.

Thank you

Fawn: [00:03:12] guys. You are totally part of this family and Brooke, by the way, you are on the road right now. So Brooke sounds a little bit different than usual. Can I just say everyone's sitting here at our kitchen table, even though we're all in different parts of the planet, but Brooke, you look like you're flying an airplane right now with the aviator glasses and the headphones.

Matt: [00:03:36] And then I was going helicopter actually, but it's like spinning really quickly or something. He looks so bad ass, like top gun, like stared sexy.

Brooke: [00:03:48] Thank you. I really wish it was that reason, but it was because it was so the sun is so blinding. I couldn't see if I didn't have them on and that the earphones is because I was afraid of like having

KJ: [00:03:59] all the background that [00:04:00] I, so thank you.

I'll take those compliments.

Fawn: [00:04:02] I appreciate that. Super sexy, Brooke. I love it. Thank you. And you all have heard our name actually. Yeah, you have. Huh?

 Hello, my darlings. Oh my God. Talk about sexy. Sorry Matt (Matt and Fawn quibble,,). I'm sorry. It's the accent and the voice like

I'm sweating. Okay.

Paul: [00:04:32] My name is Paul. Um, I'm the only non podcaster to hear, I think now is my podcast. I know. So it's, it's, it's lovely to be a part of the family. I'm quite random how I became part of the family. But, um, what we're going to be chatting about is stuff that really, , connects to my everyday life. Um, how, I mean, I'm a, I'm a recovering addict and [00:05:00] alcoholic.

So to stuff that we talk about, I really go into anyway, um, every day into like self-love self growth, all of that kind of stuff. But my main thing is, , I'm a meditation teacher and facilitator, and I'm a personal trainer and nutritionist. , and you can find that info at www dot, meet your mind online.com.

And then I'm also a musician. And I love to play kind of like indie flamenco I call it. But yeah, music is where my, , my true heart lies sort of thing.  Lovely to be here, lovely to see you all

Fawn: [00:05:39] Love you, Paul,

Paul: [00:05:41] Love you too.

Fawn: [00:05:43] And our beautiful goddess priestess here, BethBeth Hewitt

Beth: [00:05:49] uh, thank you for it's so lovely to be here and connected with so many of my friends and new friends and the new listeners. And, um, I'm not sure if I soundas sexy as Paul

Fawn: [00:05:58] you do sound [00:06:00] sexy. You do call me darlin and all Swoon all over again.

Matt: [00:06:04] I'm actually not allowed to comment on any of that. So I won't

Brooke: [00:06:08] (Fawn in background  "you're allowed"). He's a very smart man. He is a very smart man. 

Beth: [00:06:15] so my name is Beth Hewitt and I live in the UK as well. I live in a little village called Liversidge, which if you blink you'll, you'll kind of miss it.

It's that small. , and I suppose I've always been on this lifelong journey to  find out where I fit into the world. I always felt very different. I always felt very spiritual and didn't understand why we went to school. And then we got a job and then. We got married and we had that, did that didn't make any sense to me.

And so I've always been fascinated about other people's experiences and how they change direction and pivot and how they ended up doing the thing that they're supposed to be doing. , so today I'm a, I'm a spiritual and performance coach and, , I've given up my corporate nine to five where I used to, I used to work with lots of (KJ's doing the [00:07:00] whole..."YAY!").

, I used to help businesses.  I still help businesses but I used to help them , to grow digitally and manage lots of different business support programs. But now I work on the stuff that I really love, which is helping people find that thing that they're supposed to be doing in the world.  My podcast is called visualize you.

And that's because I'm really interested in visualization and the law of attraction and affirmations, and just getting really clear on that vision of what you're trying to create in the world.  I love to tell the stories of people that I've pivoted on on the show. And you can find me at www.visualiseyou.com, , or anywhere you listen to podcasts.

And I'm just so grateful to be here and having this conversation with you all and how we're all connected and how all our divine dots are all connected in some way and lead us to the path that we're all on.

Fawn: [00:07:44] I love you all so much.

You guys everybody's kind of muted. Don't worry about muting yourself except for Brooke, because the car cause the helicopter is

KJ: [00:07:54] quite loud.

It is tough being  a bad-ass pilot. So, [00:08:00]

Fawn: [00:08:00] There's a reason why we're all together. And with every episode it'll become more clear.  I'll just leave it at that today. You guys, , I want to talk about how we greet each other and I want to thank a person named Chris.

Oh, I know. I don't know how to pronounce his last name or her name. Uh, Chris Scioli or Chile, C C I O L L I R writer for AFAR. I have traveled around the planet a few times since I was born. And I've always been really astonished by how we behave and how we connect to one another and how we greet each other.

 I was reading an article written by, , Chris and, , It was  perfect because I was trying to, , recall from my own experience, all of the different ways that I've [00:09:00] been greeted by people. And I was thinking about how I greet people.  I was thinking about how over the past few years, the greetings have changed.

So listen to this.  In Tibet, I'm sure we all know you stick out your tongue to say hello. Do you guys know where that actually comes from? Can I tell you it?  It began with these monks and to show that they were not the reincarnation of this cruel evil King that they had from the ninth century. Who was known to have a black tongue.

So  the monks would stick out their tongue to show that they were cool, right? Like not evil, not evil. Um, so that's how you say hello in Tibet. You stick out your tongue.

Bumping noses from Qatar, Yemen Oman, the United [00:10:00] Arab Emirates, Emirates. They bump noses. , we have air kisses on the cheek, France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Latin America, Ukraine and Quebec in Canada.

And, , there are all these different ways to say hello. And of course, within each of these hellos, there are protocols to follow. I'm not really going to get into that. I just want to do a quick generalization. So we also have air kisses on the cheek in France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Latin America.

Did I already say that? I already said that. Okay. So then we go to sorry guys. , so then we have rubbing noses and sometimes foreheads, which is called sharing of breath. Why are you looking over my shoulder? I want to make sure you're going over new stuff. So rubbing noses that's in New Zealand.

[00:11:00] Matt: [00:10:59] I got you KJ.

Fawn: [00:11:02] We, of course, there's a greeting where we shake hands. Can you stop looking at me, Matt,

Matt: [00:11:07] I'm not looking at you.

Fawn: [00:11:08] You're bothering me. So we shake hands in Botswana, China, Germany, Zambia, Rwanda, the middle East, I guess, here in the United States, too. And of course, you know, this is pre COVID, but who cares? I mean, COVID will be over hopefully soon.

Anyway. , do you know another greeting is to clap hands, which is funny because I didn't know this, but on my own, like when I get excited about seeing someone I do like, uh, you know, but that's a deal. That's the clapping of hands in Zimbabwe and Mozambique. So here's how they do it. It's really interesting.

So the clapping of hands happens after you shake hands and so [00:12:00] comes after a shake and it's like a call. And answer style, a call and answer style. The first person claps once and the second person twice in response. So Matt, hi, I'm going to shake your hand and then you clap once. And I go, is that cool?

I love that. Anyway. So that's Zimbabwe and Mozambique, then there's also a greeting where you put your hand on your heart in Malaysia, depending on people and situations of course, , you take the opposite, person's hand lightly in yours. Then you release the person's hand and bring your own hands to your chest and, nod slightly to symbolize Goodwill and an open heart. Then there's also the greeting where we bow. That's mostly in Cambodia, India, [00:13:00] Nepal, Laos, Thailand and Japan. There's another greeting where we sniff faces. That's in Greenland. I'm not sure how to pronounce this.

Is it Tavalu Lu. It's Oceana. Basically. It's pressing cheeks together and taking a deep breath. So you're rubbing cheeks and you take a deep breath in. Then of course, the greeting of where you pay major respect to your elders. And that's in a lot of countries. You always greet your elders first in India, we touch their feet.

In Liberia and parts of Nigeria, young people  drop to one knee or both knees to honor their elders.

 This brings me to now walking around, I mean, especially in the United States, you guys, we have a round table  from people  around the world, but [00:14:00] , I want to generalize and say, I've always noticed, and it's always really upset me when people are like, hi, how are you? Because I, over the years noticed, wow, they really didn't care about how I was, or they looked really annoyed.

Because I was like, Oh, well, you know, I told them a feeling I was having like, wow, I'm just taking up their day. They it's just really, it's not a sincere question. , it's not okay. It's  mean I don't like it. So why are you even asking me, you know, please, can we come up with something else?

And then on the other side of it was, , you asked someone, how are you? And you know, they're going through stuff and they're like, fine. And so that happened for years Matt you and I came across what "FINE" actually means when people say fine, you know, we started to think this, and then we actually saw it in [00:15:00] a movie, fine.

F I N E actually stands four freaked out insecure. Neurotic and emotional. So ever since we saw that in the movie, Matt and I like, if one of us says fine, we're like, Oh shoot, Oh, it's bad news. If someone says fine. Well, well, honestly it depends on the tone. Like if somebody is like, Hey, how you doing?

Fine. Ooh, no, you also hear people say fine. Well, yeah, but there's that lingering, longing at the end. I don't know. There are all kinds of ways and no one is sincere about it and that's got to stop.  Let's talk about this. How can we change this? How can we change this? Who should go first? Who wants to go first?

I don't even know what to say. Other than much like the busy, [00:16:00] which is a four letter F U word that I don't like busy, fine is another one that really pisses me off. And how are you, where I know good and well, you, you, the person couldn't care less. So let's change that because I've noticed ever since we started talking about the word busy and how it's a four-letter word, whoever talks to us that has listened to our podcasts will not use that word.

And if they trip and , say it by accident, they profusely apologize for saying busy. So maybe we can change fine. And how are you?

Paul: [00:16:40] That's why, you know, like if they're saying, sorry, when they're saying busy, they got, a guilty conscience, if they're just saying they're busy, I'll see you later like, uh, and they got an, a guilty conscience about it, they're probably all right. And then if, if you will like, you know, offended them, maybe it's not your thing being offended, but yeah. If there's going conscious behind it, [00:17:00] then something dodgy going on in there.

Fawn: [00:17:03] Well, it's always dodgy, like busy, like I'm busy. Well, okay. But if you're more humane about it or human about it, you can say I was washing the dishes all day long, or I have, you know, I'm doing laundry or I just don't want to go.

I don't want to go to where I, instead of saying I'm busy, it's just like a blanket statement. Like I'm not even going to give you the courtesy of letting you know about my life. I'm just busy. Here's a wall I'm busy as opposed to. I need the whole day to chill. I need the whole day to ground myself

Matt: [00:17:43] and you haven't, then you're inviting more conversation and the person just wants to cut it off.

Paul: [00:17:48] Well, then it might be also like justification as well, or you don't need to justify yourself. And maybe like, if you don't know the person that way, or the, maybe you feel like you might have to, but if, [00:18:00] especially if it's a friend, you just tell them you're busy, I'll chat to you in a bit. And hopefully that friend would just be like, won't take it to heart at all.

But it's, it's also like, I think, , how you say stuff, you know, if, if you do say it, like, it's like how you stay on busy if you're like, sorry, darling, I'm busy. I'll see you later. Um, but I'm busy speaking to you, right. And it's like,

Fawn: [00:18:25] Paul, you can say anything to me and say busy all day long and I'll be like, okay, well, okay.

But no, but honestly you can say I can't do it. And that's it. You know, I just, I just want busy to kind of not be used as much because you can still say, you know, in two short words or three short words, I don't want to explain, but I'm doing something else or I'm not into it and be gracious about it instead of just one word busy and, you know,

Beth: [00:18:58] it's, uh, [00:19:00] Our words are really powerful though out there.

I think it was, sometimes we say we're busy and it's just a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. So we become even more. Busy, you know what we say? We haven't got enough time, so we don't have enough time. Yeah.

Fawn: [00:19:11] And we do have plenty of time. Exactly. Beth it's like, yeah, it becomes this like, uh, scratchy, gray, gross, like chaotic, like, you know, those old cartoons where the person's head had the scratchy, um, pencil drawn, like, like it's just a scratchy, messy, busy, like pencil drawing.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Matt: [00:19:36] I have absolutely no idea.

Fawn: [00:19:37] You don't know what I'm talking about? You know, it's like a cloud wait. Nobody does. Okay. So there's a drawing and there's like, instead of a cloud, like it's like a cloud over someone's head, but it's like, if you take a pencil and just scratch all the graphite on the piece of paper, it's like, it's like a messy, like gray, like, like it's confusion [00:20:00] and chaotic.

And, um, I don't know. I just, I just feel like it's the same. That same vibe is happening when we see one another and we greet each other by, hi, how are you? It's it's just really paying attention to how words are actually affecting us. And in Paul's case, I mean, he comes from a magical area and everything is so beautiful and people are lovely.

Same with you Beth, over there. But like, I just feel like, I don't know, is it just me? Am I the only one that who feels this way? Like things are so busy and people are so wrapped up in chaos that it's just a sound that you make, is it to say, hi, how are you? Uh it's

Brooke: [00:20:51] I think what happens Fawn is like, when we, when we start doing things and we get overwhelmed ourselves, it's an easier way to [00:21:00] say I'm busy.

Like it's, it is hard. Harsh and I, for Christmas got, , a trinket and it said I'm so busy and someone gave it to me because they thought it was cute. And I went,

Oh, no, that's how I sound. I sound that way. Like, I don't want people to think I'm just too busy or maybe like Beth was just saying like, I'm too important.

Like, that's not what I wanted to come off as, so now it's funny. I joke with my kids and I'll hold it up when I'm on a, like a podcast recording or something and I'll go, I'm so busy, but it makes them laugh because it turned into like a joke. So now, instead of saying that I'm more cautious, but I will say this, it wasn't until I had conversations with different people outside my own culture and my own area that I recognized how things sounded because in my world, it's easy to say, how are you fine.

Good. How, like, it's, it's the way you greet, like, yeah, I'm fine. Um, [00:22:00] I actually am one that has always hated that word. And I hate content. I think if someone's fine or content they're in hell now I know that that's not true. I know people look at that differently, but for me, especially doing what I do, I don't want to walk into a wedding and have someone say to me, I'm fine.

No, no, you're great. This is your writing day. You're happy, you're excited! Like it's, it's the same way. Like people get into the same routine and it's not even an intentional thing in their minds. It's just the way of their world. And until you look outside of that, which a lot of people they don't do for whatever reason, there's a million.

But when someone pointed out to me now, I say, Oh, I have a very full day today. Like, and I make a joke because like, I'll, I promise I'll call you back when you know, I can give you some like some focus, like I can focus on what you're talking about or. But it never was like that for me [00:23:00] until I started to recognize all the different things that, , people share with each other, and now I pay closer attention.

But when you're wrapped up in your day to day world, sometimes it's just easier for people to not have to take on another thing, because it seems grand instead of recognizing it could be one tweak of a word and it makes someone else's day feel better.

Fawn: [00:23:21] Brooke. That was so beautifully put and it reminds me of what I wanted to say is that we can not even say anything.

We can, it can just be looking into each other's eyes and like taking a look at what other countries do. Like just putting your hand on your heart. And if the person, if it will not be misconstrued, if you could gently take their hand for a split second, let go, and then hold your heart. You're not saying anything, but you're saying so much and there's pure love and compassion and a healing.

Dare I say a healing [00:24:00] that can happen in a second. And we didn't have to use any words. And we are all seen and heard by just a gesture or a glance. Like,  and then I did something in the past week. , we've had to talk to a lot of people recently because of the podcast.  Before we start, people will say, hi, how are you before we start recording?

I'm like, Oh my God. And I decided to try something out because, , I had this crazy headache that lasted a week and it was starting to freak me out. I was really getting scared, like what is happening and most of the people that we have meetings with this week were  fellow podcasters. And two of them said it exactly the same way.

Hi, how are you? I'm like, you know what, Kevin, um, I have this really bad headache. I know, I know we're about to start our meeting, but actually I've had a crazy headache. Do you get headaches? Like, is it a [00:25:00] podcasters thing? And I caught them off guard, but immediately I could see their face change and it softened.

And I remember, uh, the first person I talked to was Kevin and he leaned into the camera a little bit, like half an inch. So say it's a podcaster thing. He goes, do you wear this kind of headphone? And I'm like, why, yes I do. He's like, that's the problem. And then the, and then I said it again when we had a different meeting with our friend Matthew from cause pods, by the way, shout out to cause pods and shout out to Kevin from Grow the Show Podcast. But, uh, I was talking to Matthew and he said we were both doing PodFest. Like we were part of PodFest. And I said, you know, I was joking. I'm like, I blamed PodFest because I was listening with headphones on for two weeks, straight from six in the morning until seven at night.

He's like, yeah, you can't do that. You can't, [00:26:00] you cannot as podcasters. We cannot like to be listening like that and something over your ear, that'll do it to you. And you know, I didn't say fine. And I know they were asking me like, Hey, hi, how are you? Expecting I find let's go like, let's start pressing buttons and get on with the show.

But it created, I think I know from my side I felt love from them. I felt like they got to know me better and I got to know them better because they showed a part of their lives and a part of their expertise that I normally wouldn't have seen. Like they showed compassion and it literally took five seconds.

Six seconds of time, you know?

Matt: [00:26:46] Yeah. No, no, no, absolutely. Um, I have to say that, uh, yeah. At work, starting a new project, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But you know, I come into it with what I call belligerent ignorance. So I actually come into it and [00:27:00] I say, I don't know how to do something like, uh, but as a techie, you're never supposed to say that because you're supposed to know all, but you can't know it all.

And so being, I call it belligerent because you know, I'm not embarrassed. I'm not being sheepish. I'm saying, Hey, help me figure this out. Cause it's usually, , client-specific knowledge that there's no way I could have. , I find that this really starts to open people up because you're immediately saying, I acknowledge you.

I acknowledge that, you know, stuff I don't. And all of a sudden it's like, we're, we're starting to get real with each other. And I th I think that's important, , in many ways,  you do, you're doing what I can, what I call , cutting someone's ki.  Somebody has got a very focused steadfast, let's go in this direction, and you're immediately saying, Whoa, let's go over here.

Fawn: [00:27:46] Which raises a question. Okay. So I have a question for you guys. Do you think that we're afraid to connect with one another? Much like when we walk past someone on the street who may be homeless or who may be having trouble and we can sense it, [00:28:00] you know, because we are all interconnected and that's the whole point of our round table is to show that interconnectedness because we are all deeply intertwined.

The way we become connected is through sound through our words and through our eyes and through our touch. So we're afraid to make eye contact because as soon as we do, , we travel into the realms of each other's universes. So we don't want to do that because it's too much pain. If we feel like the homeless person has too much pain, we don't want to connect with that.

Or we feel ashamed to connect with that because maybe we feel guilty because we're not homeless. There's so much.  Are we afraid to truly know how we are doing?

KJ: [00:28:50] I, I had an interesting, I saw you lean in Matt. So what that actually, um, highlights what I wanted to say and that [00:29:00] you spoke to, Fawn. There's something about reteaching ourselves to notice the non-verbal. So like even now I saw Matt lean towards the microphone, right. And so that was a cue to me to be like, I want to be aware. I want to, I want to notice, and I'd like to give Matt a moment as well. We both were responding to your question.

And so I just wanted to say, I have a story that encompasses almost the whole part of your question on, and, um, it was around, um, I was walking down the street, , in my neighborhood here and, , there, there were a couple of homeless folks I'm familiar with them because that was their spot. I I'm familiar with this couple.

And, um, I saw them asking folks in front of me and this was before pandemic times. And so we were all just kinda [00:30:00] wandering around in clustered in our groups and going on our Merry way. Um, I saw them, I saw this homeless couple ask folks, Hey, do you have anything to. To help us out with tonight and people would ignore, or people would just kind of keep going, going forward and not acknowledge at all.

And then it came to us. I was in a group, there were three of us walking across the sidewalk and they asked us anything that we can, anything that we can help with tonight. And my companion said, I'm sorry, not, not tonight. Um, and I, I said the same thing and I said, no, not tonight. I'm sorry. And the homeless fellow was just like, you're, you're not sorry.

You're not sorry. Don't say that to me. You're not sorry. And it made me so uncomfortable because he couldn't have known this, of course, but I had literally just [00:31:00] been told about a financial disaster that I'm experiencing in my own life. And I had no money. I had not a penny to rub together to share with this individual, but for me to, I literally, and I literally was apologizing, , for myself and for the situation and that I couldn't offer this to this gentleman, but he wouldn't that wasn't in the realm.

We were not connecting on that level. And, , so yes, I just, I just want to say that there's so many layers behind our words and noticing, like I said, to start this whole thing off, noticing the non-verbal noticing tone, noticing body language and posture, um, and being aware, being aware, aware of what your own stuff is in the moment. This man, very difficult life.; I absolutely understand that. So [00:32:00] he was lashing out at me coming from his experience. And I was, I responded because of my experience. And so, but we missed each other completely. We really didn't hear that we were actually both in pain.

Fawn: [00:32:14] But I think that both of you still had an interaction, which is what most people do not.

He needed to express to all the people that were not sorry, that said whatever they said he needed to express that. Yeah. And you also express to him what you were feeling , and had to really tell yourself, Hey, I am also going through this. So in a way you didn't push anything out and neither did he.

So I still see, I don't know if I'm making any sense here, but I still, hearing that story of yours KJ, I can see that there was an interaction. There was still a dance between you [00:33:00] and it was human. It was not like it was not. I'm sorry. Our computer battery just, , made a sound. So now I forgot what I was saying.

It was

Brooke: [00:33:15] Fawn. Let me just, okay. Did you catch, did you remember, I was just going to kind of bring you back to what you were saying.

Fawn: [00:33:20] No, go ahead. Go ahead, Brooke. What were you going to say?

Brooke: [00:33:25] The bottom line is there are people that like KJ, you put yourself out there, you were really feeling pain for that gentlemen and knowing what you do for a living and how you, you know, you want to help people.

, I think sometimes people get more worried about being treated that way, Fawn and that's why they don't interact. I think sometimes a story like what's with what KJ just shared, you know, I had, I had a very, um, kind of strange story when I was a child, we were on a trip and I went to a Catholic [00:34:00] school.

So one of the priests were running the trip and there was a homeless man and I wanted to give the man money. And I was probably like, I was elementary school. I was a little like maybe fifth grade, something like that. And the priest said, no, you can't do that, but you can give him food if you'd like, like, I can't let you, you know, and I will take it to him.

Like you can't get off the bus. And I said, so I  got everybody on the bus to, to give me their food. Like I went around, I said, just give me the food. Like I went out and it wasn't the, like I thought I was doing something great. The man wanted money. Not food. So it's, and I'm not saying this because I disagree with what you're saying, Fawn. I think what you're saying is very powerful, but I think there's a lot of people that have stories that they've tried to do something good, or they did do something good. That's another word for may try. I hate that word. Um, but then they get swatted and they go, Ooh. And if you're not someone that's [00:35:00] ready to come back for round two, or you don't have an open mind or, um, you know, that desire, like you sort of hold on to certain things.

So maybe the, the change for us all is like, maybe we give it a second chance. You know, maybe the, the, the background is even if it hasn't gone exactly the way you wanted it to go the first time around, maybe that next time you'll actually make a difference in someone's life. And it'll cause a different reaction.

But, you know, I think we live that way all the time were things that, you know, we get stuck in what our past has shown us and we forget that it's okay to move past that and do something new.

Fawn: [00:35:38] And also it's just beyond our past experiences. I think it's just what I was trying to say was at least there's an interaction.

I think that needs to be the first step is it has to be an interaction. The, the transaction may not have been financial, but there was a transaction that occurred with KJ and this [00:36:00] man, and it was two humans together. Now it may not have been what the man was wanting and you know, and it's definitely not what KJ wanted, but there was an interaction instead of ignoring  one another, instead of pretending that person doesn't exist there wasn't a, there was an interaction, there was a communication.

And I, what I was trying to say was that's. A great first step. And, and it also made me think, what country is it? Does anyone know there's a country where if you truly don't have anything to provide someone and someone is begging you say, I'm sorry, please forgive me. It's not the Hawaiian one. It's I want to say, is it the Philippines?

Like if you don't have money to give you say, I'm sorry, sir, please forgive me. But like just the whole forgiveness thing, like to say, please forgive me. [00:37:00] I have tried that like moments when I had no money. And I say, please forgive me. And I look at the person's eyes. They're probably surprised one is I'm what I'm guessing.

But it was not the normal interaction. It was like, they kind of paused and like were like, Oh, okay. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Instead of just ignoring one another. And it's not just with homeless people, it's with one another. It's just in a way we're ignoring each other by saying, how are you doing?

You know? And not even, not even like pausing for a response or if there's a response looking annoyed.

Paul: [00:37:43] I think, um, I think the beautiful thing about, um, what you're on about like interacting say with like the homeless person and then not being what someone sometimes maybe expects like, first of all, that's expectations and that's that [00:38:00] own person's expectation a bit going beautifully.

And then secondly, um, when it doesn't go as like one expects or it doesn't go, um, the outcome isn't like beautiful. The main thing to know for me personally, how I do it, main thing I know is that it was a test. And if I pass that test and even like how hard that struggle was just doing, maybe a simple chat or whatever, and confrontation.

If I kept challenging my, um, reactions, if they want to be like frustration intolerance, impatience, if I keep challenging my mind and going with tolerance and patience and love and stuff like that, even if the outcome is by the end of it, not amazing, I did my best and that's all that matters. And that is that's perfect.

Isn't it? That's like the best outcome that can come. Really. It's not meant to be a good [00:39:00] outcome, but it's meant to be like a test for self and how I act in that moment. If that makes sense.

Matt: [00:39:07] That's an interesting way of thinking about it, for sure.

Beth: [00:39:10] I think like, even now, like the fact that we're having a conversation about things that happened a long time ago, that connection.

The interaction has led us to having a conversation such as this. So I think just that, that, that connection at that point in time, and we all do look at things. We all do have our own assumptions and different lenses by which we connect with people. And sometimes we want to connect and sometimes we don't want to connect, you know, there's times when, I would say I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert.

If I go to a networking event, an actual extrovert head-on and I'm connecting with everybody in that room. There's other times when I'm walking down the street and I don't want to put my invisible  cloque on, cause I don't want to really interact with anybody. So I think it's sometimes it's about that choice and being able to read, being able to read the room, being able to read the body language, being able to [00:40:00] give people space and that pause to allow people to speak because sometimes we want to fill that space when we ask somebody how they are and then maybe they don't say anything at all.

I think sometimes just giving people that space to breathe and think, and.

You guys, this is why I stay home a lot. Pandemic aside is Matt, is it not true? If I feel off psychically, I'm like, I can't go out today because I don't have the capability to interact in situations that may throw me off guard.

Like, I don't know what's going to happen. Like, I, I, I just don't know. And so like, I have a brief little story of like, people ignoring me. I have many stories of people ignoring me, which happens quite a lot. I don't know why I can say and point to racism. So I remember I was eight months pregnant and I was on a photo shoot [00:41:00] and it was in Seattle and it was pouring rain and my equipment.

I have cases and cases of equipment. So I'm eight months pregnant, carrying all the equipment myself. Now I had a Dolly, you know, but it's still heavy stuff. It's, it's a lot of work. If you're on a photo shoot, you need a team with you. It was just me and little Elle inside of me, but it was pouring rain. And I was in this, uh, part of a building.

I was photographing for a pretty well-known architect. And I had access to the building. I had all the security, whatever, all the measures. And then I saw all these other architects that were on the grounds and they looked very official. They were in their suits and, you know, there were walking and it was all the men and they were quite, not too far away, but enough for them to hear my voice, [00:42:00] I couldn't lift the Dolly and all my equipment up over this one step.

To leave the building, like the building hadn't been completely finished being made. So I was in like part of the construction area and I really needed help and things were slippery because of all the rain and everything. And you know, I look at some people and I could tell the way they ignore me. They know I'm there, but they ignore me.

Like I can, I know, they know and are aware of my presence, especially when I say, excuse me, sir. And I could tell, like they were trying to look at me, but they didn't want to look at me because they probably thought because of the way I look that I was a servant a maide whatever person that they feel like they can ignore and it's socially acceptable.

Um, and [00:43:00] so I noticed that that was happening. Am I, excuse me, sir? Can you help me lift this? Equipment, can you help me? And he looked at me, the one of the men, the others didn't even bother to look. They kept walking and he grunted. And I think he grunted like, no, like it w I, and they kept walking and I thought, well, isn't this a bitch.

Like, it took me forever to figure out how to lift all my equipment up and over this one step eight months pregnant making me feel bad that I wasn't there. You were working Matt. I went on lots of photo-shoots without you. I know it's not pretty to feel bad. What I'm trying to say is, you know, even if that, if all the men have looked at me and just said, Oh, my God, like, just stop.

Like obviously they didn't have the capacity to get over their racism or if it wasn't racism, they didn't have the ability to like stop and say, Oh wow, we're we're [00:44:00] under this time constraints. And we can't even give another human being a second of a help. Or even if the help is sorry, we see you. We have to run.

We're really sorry. We'll try to figure something out. Just like, say something to me as a human being. And I think that's one of the problems these days. I don't know why all this has occurred. I don't know why everyone is suddenly so busy and so wrapped up in their own thing that we can't truly hear  one another to really know how we are doing or to even offer help.

And that help could have been just a look like. Oh, man. I see what you're what you're up against. Hold on. Let me figure something out. Or let me guys, like, there was like five men. I'm sure they could have just easily taken 10 seconds of their time to lift one suitcase of lighting [00:45:00] equipment. You know what I mean?

Like, Ugh, everyone's quiet. Am I sounding crazy?

Matt: [00:45:07] No, but I, I think there's a wide variety of emotions that go into it that people get wrapped up in. Cause you know, I like to ride my bike and when somebody's got a flat and you, you know, you ask them if they need help, sometimes I'll just be like, and they'll make you feel stupid for offering to help them.

So, , I've gotten to a place now where I'm like, all right, man, rock on. But like, you have to be in that frame of mind, you know, I'm being helpful. They don't want it. And that's cool. Not, um, I'm thinking I'm gonna, I'm offering help. They say, ah, and I back away, you know, it's, it's a different mindset.

It's it's, again, this kind of it's, it's belligerent on some level, but  it's a benevolent belligerence. , I just liked the word belligerent.

Brooke: [00:45:53] I want to tell you a quick story. I had last week that kind of follows the same suit. I was trying to find a [00:46:00] venue for one of our couples and similar to what you're talking about.

Like you, you wonder what's going on in someone else's world where they're so detached from the conversation or the situation. And now it looks like to me, like, okay, I'm just going to ask, so this one gentlemen, I said, Oh, you know, I need some information. We want to send some clients your way. It was a venue.

And he's like, I, I can't talk to you right now. I don't have time for this. I don't have to. I went, I'm sorry. Let me just make myself clear. I want to send you business. Do you not want me to send you business? Cause I can move on to the other 15 right in the area. He went nice,

Fawn: [00:46:42] Brooke. I love it.

Brooke: [00:46:44] But it was switching his mentality.

He had something so important and who knows his wife could have been in labor for all. I know all that, but he wasn't giving me the response. So finally, I just stopped it and said, let me ask you a question. If you don't want [00:47:00] this, that's fine. I'll find somebody who does. But sometimes I think I used to analyze every situation and now I've decided there really is no time for the.

Analyzing of everything. It's let me just ask the question, let me figure out what's going on. And had I been there and saw that Fawn, I would have went right up to those people and said, are you kidding me? She's eight months pregnant and you can't give her a hand shame on you. And I bet every one of those people would have came over and helped you.

Like sometimes they just need to be reminded that that's just, that's just unkind. That's not nice Be kind.

KJ: [00:47:32] There's a mindlessness involved a carelessness. Um, some of it Beth touched on it. Some of it is habit. And we may not even understand that we are doing it. It's so deeply embedded in our patterns, in our patterning and, and in our models, if our entire family speaks this way, and this is the exchange that happens in our family, it might be very easy to and [00:48:00] comfortable to sit back and like, well, that's just, that's just, that's just our way, but, but forgetting to explain or, or have the capacity to see, but it's not just this one definition, there are more people involved. Uh, but so that's what I've noticed that there's like this impulse and pattern and habit more than anything. So, hi, how are you? It's there is no pause because it's not even just "Hi". The whole greeting is actually, hi, how are you? It's not an actual, I I've noticed more often than anything.

And I guess it's because it's what I do for a living. I literally want to know how you are. So I won't ask that question unless we're sitting side, you know, sitting in a, in a conversational space and I'll ask you, how are you? But I can understand how folks, , might develop this as , it's a mindless thing. It's just what you do.

Paul: [00:48:52] We, we say that in England that we back instead of "Hi", we sometimes go, how's it going? And that just means hi. We don't, we don't [00:49:00] want to respond. So it's just hi. It's our greeting Yeah. I like it.

Beth: [00:49:07] No. I was going to say I do. I do think like what KJ was saying, unless you're willing to hear the answer, maybe you want to, you want to ask it, don't ask it.

Or say something else. Say something else. There's something else. If you're not willing to get the real answer.

Paul: [00:49:23] KJ was, was, um, going kind of deeper into, like you're saying it's something like deeply rooted in us. I think like, um, doing like that thing with ignoring Fawn and about being pregnant and helping out and stuff and all that kind of stuff, ignoring people and not wanting to know.

I think the main thing it comes from, it's just the fear of ego of your ego self losing like part of itself its identity. It's pride, it's strength, your ego doesn't want to lose it. And that's so like in [00:50:00] ingrained into us as a human being. You know, that's one of the challenges of, of being human being.

Isn't it, it's trying to let go of ego, which is not positive.

Fawn: [00:50:12] I was going to say it is so much fun and I prob okay. The following I'm about to say is so much fun for me. Um, and I got to the state because I have been burned so many times by people and instead of like turning into a curmudgeon and joining the gang and joining people and being heartless and not compassionate, I kind of went the opposite way.

And I was going to say, it's so much fun not to care and okay, this is going to sound wrong. But bear with me by not caring, what I mean is I don't care about the norms of our society. I [00:51:00] have actually stopped asking people how they are. I will point stuff out, I'll see a stranger and go, are you in pain?

Like, are you, you know, like, I won't say, are you okay? But I'm like, are you okay? Or if I sense, like they need a glass of water, I'll just like, here, drink this. Do you know what I mean? Obviously not to a stranger on the street, but you get the gist of what I'm saying. And it just taking this automatic autopilot and destroying it.

And using words that people are know are, um, expecting, you know, like going up to strangers and saying, damn, you look beautiful. You don't even know them. Who cares, but they look beautiful. Or, you know, like if someone obviously needs help, you know, they need help. Don't ask them, just do it.

 A long time ago I read this  article and I was meant to read [00:52:00] this article because a couple of weeks later something happened and it was because I read this article, it made me do the following. So the article was about these women. I think they were in Paul. I think they were in Thailand. I don't remember what country actually, but they were traveling and there was another woman traveling and there was an accident, um, like a tourism sort of thing where this woman's husband died in a tragic accident.

And she was obviously grief stricken and in shock. And there were these two other women that were on the outskirts of her life. Like they didn't know each other, but they witnessed what this woman went through. And the government somehow was trying to have this woman sign a waiver. Saying, basically, um, release any kind of responsibility from the tourism board or [00:53:00] whatever it was that caused the death of her husband.

And because this woman was experiencing so much shock and grief, she was about to sign this thing. And these women who didn't know her were trying to say, Hey, are you okay? And of course the woman would push them. She, the woman pushes them away. And this article went on and on about how this woman kept pushing them away and wouldn't accept any help and actually told the women leave me alone, but they didn't because they knew she needed help and they didn't and they persevered and they made sure she didn't sign.

And the point of the article was when people are in pain, they may not even know. They, they don't know how to ask for help. They don't even, even if they do know to ask for help, they don't know how to ask or what to ask for. So if you're aware of something, just be present and don't give up. So when I read this [00:54:00] article, two weeks later, we had just moved into this house on Bainbridge Island.

Bainbridge Island is a place it's a little Island between Seattle and basically the other part of the part of the continent or whatever you call it. What do you call it? It's a little Island that kind of, um, people drive through. It looks like foresty. It's a foresty area, but very unconcerned people live there.

Like I am appalled by the kind of personality, the kind of culture that exists there. We lived there for a few years and it was really the catalyst that created the whole friendship movement because of the way people behaved .When we moved there, there was a house across the way we lived in this forest area, an older couple lived there and somehow through gossip, cause that's how people communicated. It was just pure gossip. The gossip was [00:55:00] Oh, uh, Mr. Palmer , has alzheimer's and you know, I'm like, well,  okay. Well, I'm glad I got that information. I didn't know. So one day I was coming home from a photo shoot and the sun was setting it's in the forest and it's getting dark and we didn't have sidewalks.

So like they're like slippery roads, windy roads. And I see Mr. Palmer walking in the other direction from his house and looking at his body language, I could tell he doesn't know where he is and I had never met him before. It was just pure gossip that I found out these people have this situation going on.

So I stopped the car. I rolled the window and I start yelling, Mr. Palmer, hi, this is Fawn. I'm your neighbor? Are you headed home? And he looked at me like, so thankfully, but like I could tell he was confused. He was like, yeah, I want to go home and like, jump on it. I'm headed in that direction. You [00:56:00] know, like, so I made him get in the car and I delivered him to his wife, Sylvia.

And it was the first time we ever met. And it was a few weeks after that, that he actually passed away. Right. Matt and yeah. And we were the only ones that were new to that whole neighborhood. People had known each other for decades. No one helped nobody helped. And. It was because I read that article because I was brave enough and couldn't care less enough to care what people would yell at me about like, go away.

I don't want you leave me alone. I don't care. I'm still going to step in there and be pushy if pushy is the right word. But like, you know, Matt was out there at three in the morning trying to revive Mr. Palmer, the night he passed away. And none of the other neighbors helped. They could [00:57:00] see all the fire trucks and all the ambulances and all the commotion.

And, you know, they're watching it cause they gossiped like nobody's business and nobody came to help the next day. Nobody came to see if she was okay the day after that, that they, after that, the week after that ever, that needs to stop. I'm sorry, long about windy. Tyra Tai Tai tirade. Is that the word tirades?

Brooke: [00:57:32] No, but it's good.

It's good that you bring this up because maybe now whoever's listening to this round table, you know, all of us have our certain take on things, but hopefully someone which is why we put, you know, why we joined to do this anyway, was to give everybody a little bit of a different impression.

So that way maybe you've reached somebody at a whole different level today that never even realized that they were doing something [00:58:00] so rude or, and I'll use the word rude cause that your story that's horrible. That's rude. Um, to me at least, um, I think that sometimes people don't realize that other people need just a bit of kindness and they need to get out of their own way and, and give it to them.

So hopefully, you know, if anything like people listening to today's show got that from your stories and from the questions that you've asked us and, you know, it's certainly making me think of things that I could do better in my world, for sure. So I hope other people get that same experience.

Fawn: [00:58:36] And what I'm saying is, you know, thanks, Brooke.

Um, and also if you feel like you don't have the capacity, you don't have it in you to step outside and you can't handle something, then take care of yourself. Right. I mean, of course we all talk about this, right. And people call it, uh, what do you call it, Beth and KJ. We [00:59:00] always talk about this. It's a.

KJ: [00:59:02] Self care, care boundaries self-compassion

Brooke: [00:59:06] Fawn. Do you, do you think you have a problem Fawn, if you couldn't remember the word self care for yourself?

Fawn: [00:59:12] When I hear self-care I feel rage.

Brooke: [00:59:18] Listen, I think we're

all on the same point and same, same point in life. Right.

Fawn: [00:59:26] But, you know, I just, you know, just taking it back to how are you, I want to go around. Let's think of a different greeting we could have instead of how are you, , you know,  one of my favorite movies that, uh, I have lots of paper of movies, but there's one and each movie that I love, I have watched probably how many times Matt, like maybe in the too many triple digits, you guys it's possible.

Cause it's been years. Right? And so, and some of the movies become like [01:00:00] signs from the universe for me. And also a music. Like I have a relationship with, , Ray, Charles. I have been in remote areas without electricity and Ray Charles will come on and every time Ray Charles comes on something crazy, crazy, crazy miraculous transpires.

It is off the wall, like amazing. So one of the movies is "Coming to America" with Eddie Murphy and Oh my God. I totally forgot what I was going to say. Um, Oh, there's a scene where Eddie Murphy. Comes up to these little girls that are staff that are sitting at the front steps. He comes close to them. He's like, I have a date with Lisa today.

You know, I don't know if you guys are familiar with that scene, but he finally gets a date with a woman. That's awesome. Do you know what I mean? Like, no, these kids, these kids [01:01:00] don't know him. He just comes and he's like, Oh, but they with Lisa today and he's so happy and you know what? That is a perfect substitution for.

Hi, how are you?

So let's, let's just quickly. Um, and that'll be the way we close the show off today. Let's,  come up with some new way to greet each other. And having said that, I have no idea what I would say because it changes every time.  But like let's think of a different greeting.

Matt: [01:01:34] Well, I have to say when I'm on a zoom chat, I can just be like, Paul, I see you.

KJ: [01:01:40] Exactly.

Fawn: [01:01:41] I like that.

Paul: [01:01:43] That's nice. That's deep as well. Yeah. I see that as cool. We may like, sometimes I'll just go to my mates moody. Like we won't do like the Thai bow Thais, you know, they hold their hands and then the closer is your forehead, the [01:02:00] more respect they have for you and stuff, I'll do a lot at fancy twirl. You know, I'm on about to get one, one hand and you do like the little fancy twirl and the up one is like stretched out back.

And if we're playing, if it's like teammates, we know each other well, and we're playing around with you, stop by that. That's nice.

Brooke: [01:02:19] That's awesome.

Matt: [01:02:21] Okay, Paul, I think I'm getting a crush on you. I see that that is adorable.

Fawn: [01:02:32] Matt, remember would go, , to that vegan buffet and that one woman that would help us every time would curtsy. And she was not English British or anything. She would curtsy you guys like the full blown every time she saw us every time. So if in the course of an hour, she would see us what like 10 times. 15 times, but every time we said something nice, like, Oh my God, thank you for bringing us water.

Bam, curtsy, [01:03:00] curtsy. Full-blown curtsy like full -blown. Yeah. It was amazing. It kind of goes along with what Paul just demonstrated, you know? No, no, no, absolutely. I see you, Paul. Okay. Okay. Here's what I'm going to do from now on. I'm going to applaud.

Beth: [01:03:21] That's what I mean. Sometimes though I do

As do

KJ: [01:03:24] I

Beth: [01:03:25] that I haven't seen for a while. I will be like so excited and

like,

Fawn: [01:03:27] let's do two strangers. We've never been down and do that. Yeah.

Paul: [01:03:31] My mom and my sister did that. Me and my dad, we did different than the males in the family. We like wrap our hands when we get excited.

all: [01:03:38] Nice, nice thing.

Brooke: [01:03:42] I think I'm just going to go up and just randomly like, hi. Touch them. Hi. Well, I guess, you know, after COVID of course they might, they might get me

arrested.

Fawn: [01:03:54] I like that.

Brooke: [01:03:58] How can you ignore me?

[01:04:00] Fawn: [01:04:01] Oh my God. I love it. Now you look like a cheerleading cheerleader, uh, driving a helicopter, driving, flying.

Brooke: [01:04:13] It all made sense to me. Fawn. I knew what you meant.

Fawn: [01:04:17] KJ. It's your turn. No pressure.

KJ: [01:04:19] I had a couple of responses, but, um, cause I too, I'm very tactile. So Brooke, I'm I'm with you sister. I, I, I love to just even just, uh, Pat someone on the shoulder, but I also realize that, that there are all sorts of boundaries that could come up for that. And COVID so having not touching, not the tactile piece, um, I, this could be good for you Fawn when you're like, not sure what to say in the moment, because it changes all the time.

I look for a color that either they're wearing or is around them. And I comment on the color that yellow is fantastic on you.

Fawn: [01:04:56] I love that. I love that. I love that. [01:05:00] Yeah. You guys

Beth: [01:05:00] We don't  do that.enough with strangers, we don't compliment people enough.

Fawn: [01:05:05] No, that's why I said you have to be courageous.

Right. Just jump in there and not care. Not care.

Brooke: [01:05:12] Absolutely.

Fawn: [01:05:13] Don't care about the insecurities or whatever there you're going to get told. Just don't care. Just go for it. Right.

Paul: [01:05:22] especially if they're wearing mustard. Love a bit of mustard

Fawn: [01:05:25] are you talking about a real mustard or the color? I'm not much of a fan of the real mustard, but the color that's all right.

Paul: [01:05:34] Don't mind a bit of that.

Brooke: [01:05:38] The sun

KJ: [01:05:38] don't be alarmed when all of us show up on the next call in mustard

Paul: [01:05:42] I won't know what to say. I will be on the floor. Just like having some kind of than epiphany dream.

Yeah. I w I wanted to say fair. I was like, I don't know if I should use that word, but yeah. Okay. Fair. I'll be Ave. Oh my God. Can you imagine the trials is [01:06:00] about nine 96? Well, I don't think that's the extent of my mustard wardrobe. Yeah.

let's all meet and Greece on the beach. All of us wearing mustard, bikinis or swimsuits.

Yeah. Okay. How about this mustard color? I'll wear it. I don't mind.

Fawn: [01:06:30] I love you guys so much. Thank you for I, um, I love how this all came together and I guess now coming to a close, I want to say, how do we, you know, I always laugh because when I want to say goodbye, it takes me a good 30, 35 minutes to finally , end something to like, even when you come to our house and we're leaving or probably spent 45 minutes at the door, Saying goodbye, like a million times, but it's really interesting how [01:07:00] we say goodbye to each other.

I like how Brazilians do it. Cause they don't just wave their hand. Like, okay, bye. They, they, uh, they clasp there. They, they like bring it in, you know, like a baby does, like, you know what I mean? So it's not pushing you away. It's like actually accepting it. That's the exact word I was looking for or receiving accepting.

Yeah. And that's the way we'll close the show today and just receiving and accepting and, and just being so thankful for our companionship, who knows what we're going to talk about next week in a few days, what are we going to say? Oh, we should do video everyone. Everyone is doing that gesture. The Brazilian goodbye.

All right, everybody friends. Thank you for listening. If you want to talk to any one of us, we're all here for you. You can go to our friendly world podcast.com. [01:08:00] KJ is there, Brooke, is there Beth is there? Paul is there, there are other people there too. If you need someone to talk to, we are here at all times, right?

Everybody. Yeah, absolutely.

KJ: [01:08:13] Thank you for listening.

Fawn: [01:08:15] Thank you everybody. Thanks everybody. See you in a few days. Bye bye. Bye.

 

Transcript

TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Welcome dear friend welcome to our round table. This is connected. We are interconnected. Thank you for joining us. We are a table of friends and we're all interconnected. We are connected  here to create an awareness of the family that we truly are.

 KJ: [00:00:18] Hi everybody. , I'm KJ. I've met some of you before. I've hung out with Fawn and Matt on a couple of occasions and it was probably the most fun of my life. And so I'm so pleased to be here today. I'm chatting with our friends at this round table. , the discussions that we can come up with when we're not hitting record are fantastic.

So it's pretty wonderful that we're hitting record and  letting folks in to the fun that we're having. So a little about me, I'm a licensed psychotherapist and I have had a lifelong obsession with a couple of things. One of them being words and definitions and another [00:01:00] being cheese. And so we could talk about cheese and words at length at another time. possibly cheesy words (KJ's podcast: Stories of Astonishing Light with KJ Nasru‪l),

Fawn: [00:01:06], grilled, grilled cheese sandwiches.

KJ: [00:01:10] That's right. That's right. I have. Perfect. Well, I'll be so bold to say that I've gotten very, very good at making grilled cheese sandwiches. And so we can definitely chat about that.

Fawn: [00:01:21] comfort food,

KJ: [00:01:22] yeah. So in my, in my, in my spare time,

Fawn: [00:01:26] spare

KJ: [00:01:27] time. Okay. So in my spare time, I

, I do a podcast called stories of astonishing light and that.

Is a space a lot like this in which I exchanged stories with healers and artists and musicians and, , visionaries about the stories that we know, the stories that are about us, the stories that we see.

Fawn: [00:01:52] We're so happy to have you all of you. And I think it's going to be,  like musical chairs because there's a group of us, a group [00:02:00] of friends, and we're here as family, your family, our friends listening, you are family. And I'm so excited. And I say musical chairs because there are some other people that want to come talk with us and have a seat at our round table.

So stay tuned folks because every week we're going to have even more amazingness coming up.

Brooke: [00:02:22] Well, I don't know how I follow that, but I'm going to give it a shot, uh, between KJ and Fawn and Matt. , they're all just amazing people. My name's Brooke Voris and I'm a certified wedding planner. But more than that, I've come to realize that I needed to find a way to give back to our community.

And I felt like this was one of the most amazing ways to do that because my podcast "Cheers to You with  Brooke Voris" , brought me to Matt and Fawn. ,  it brought me to realize how many different people that are in the [00:03:00] world and how many different ways that we impact those people every day. So I am so excited to be part of this group with all of these amazing people.  I'm  looking forward to being part of this family.

Thank you

Fawn: [00:03:12] guys. You are totally part of this family and Brooke, by the way, you are on the road right now. So Brooke sounds a little bit different than usual. Can I just say everyone's sitting here at our kitchen table, even though we're all in different parts of the planet, but Brooke, you look like you're flying an airplane right now with the aviator glasses and the headphones.

Matt: [00:03:36] And then I was going helicopter actually, but it's like spinning really quickly or something. He looks so bad ass, like top gun, like stared sexy.

Brooke: [00:03:48] Thank you. I really wish it was that reason, but it was because it was so the sun is so blinding. I couldn't see if I didn't have them on and that the earphones is because I was afraid of like having

KJ: [00:03:59] all the background that [00:04:00] I, so thank you.

I'll take those compliments.

Fawn: [00:04:02] I appreciate that. Super sexy, Brooke. I love it. Thank you. And you all have heard our name actually. Yeah, you have. Huh?

 Hello, my darlings. Oh my God. Talk about sexy. Sorry Matt (Matt and Fawn quibble,,). I'm sorry. It's the accent and the voice like

I'm sweating. Okay.

Paul: [00:04:32] My name is Paul. Um, I'm the only non podcaster to hear, I think now is my podcast. I know. So it's, it's, it's lovely to be a part of the family. I'm quite random how I became part of the family. But, um, what we're going to be chatting about is stuff that really, , connects to my everyday life. Um, how, I mean, I'm a, I'm a recovering addict and [00:05:00] alcoholic.

So to stuff that we talk about, I really go into anyway, um, every day into like self-love self growth, all of that kind of stuff. But my main thing is, , I'm a meditation teacher and facilitator, and I'm a personal trainer and nutritionist. , and you can find that info at www dot, meet your mind online.com.

And then I'm also a musician. And I love to play kind of like indie flamenco I call it. But yeah, music is where my, , my true heart lies sort of thing.  Lovely to be here, lovely to see you all

Fawn: [00:05:39] Love you, Paul,

Paul: [00:05:41] Love you too.

Fawn: [00:05:43] And our beautiful goddess priestess here, BethBeth Hewitt

Beth: [00:05:49] uh, thank you for it's so lovely to be here and connected with so many of my friends and new friends and the new listeners. And, um, I'm not sure if I soundas sexy as Paul

Fawn: [00:05:58] you do sound [00:06:00] sexy. You do call me darlin and all Swoon all over again.

Matt: [00:06:04] I'm actually not allowed to comment on any of that. So I won't

Brooke: [00:06:08] (Fawn in background  "you're allowed"). He's a very smart man. He is a very smart man. 

Beth: [00:06:15] so my name is Beth Hewitt and I live in the UK as well. I live in a little village called Liversidge, which if you blink you'll, you'll kind of miss it.

It's that small. , and I suppose I've always been on this lifelong journey to  find out where I fit into the world. I always felt very different. I always felt very spiritual and didn't understand why we went to school. And then we got a job and then. We got married and we had that, did that didn't make any sense to me.

And so I've always been fascinated about other people's experiences and how they change direction and pivot and how they ended up doing the thing that they're supposed to be doing. , so today I'm a, I'm a spiritual and performance coach and, , I've given up my corporate nine to five where I used to, I used to work with lots of (KJ's doing the [00:07:00] whole..."YAY!").

, I used to help businesses.  I still help businesses but I used to help them , to grow digitally and manage lots of different business support programs. But now I work on the stuff that I really love, which is helping people find that thing that they're supposed to be doing in the world.  My podcast is called visualize you.

And that's because I'm really interested in visualization and the law of attraction and affirmations, and just getting really clear on that vision of what you're trying to create in the world.  I love to tell the stories of people that I've pivoted on on the show. And you can find me at www.visualiseyou.com, , or anywhere you listen to podcasts.

And I'm just so grateful to be here and having this conversation with you all and how we're all connected and how all our divine dots are all connected in some way and lead us to the path that we're all on.

Fawn: [00:07:44] I love you all so much.

You guys everybody's kind of muted. Don't worry about muting yourself except for Brooke, because the car cause the helicopter is

KJ: [00:07:54] quite loud.

It is tough being  a bad-ass pilot. So, [00:08:00]

Fawn: [00:08:00] There's a reason why we're all together. And with every episode it'll become more clear.  I'll just leave it at that today. You guys, , I want to talk about how we greet each other and I want to thank a person named Chris.

Oh, I know. I don't know how to pronounce his last name or her name. Uh, Chris Scioli or Chile, C C I O L L I R writer for AFAR. I have traveled around the planet a few times since I was born. And I've always been really astonished by how we behave and how we connect to one another and how we greet each other.

 I was reading an article written by, , Chris and, , It was  perfect because I was trying to, , recall from my own experience, all of the different ways that I've [00:09:00] been greeted by people. And I was thinking about how I greet people.  I was thinking about how over the past few years, the greetings have changed.

So listen to this.  In Tibet, I'm sure we all know you stick out your tongue to say hello. Do you guys know where that actually comes from? Can I tell you it?  It began with these monks and to show that they were not the reincarnation of this cruel evil King that they had from the ninth century. Who was known to have a black tongue.

So  the monks would stick out their tongue to show that they were cool, right? Like not evil, not evil. Um, so that's how you say hello in Tibet. You stick out your tongue.

Bumping noses from Qatar, Yemen Oman, the United [00:10:00] Arab Emirates, Emirates. They bump noses. , we have air kisses on the cheek, France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Latin America, Ukraine and Quebec in Canada.

And, , there are all these different ways to say hello. And of course, within each of these hellos, there are protocols to follow. I'm not really going to get into that. I just want to do a quick generalization. So we also have air kisses on the cheek in France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Latin America.

Did I already say that? I already said that. Okay. So then we go to sorry guys. , so then we have rubbing noses and sometimes foreheads, which is called sharing of breath. Why are you looking over my shoulder? I want to make sure you're going over new stuff. So rubbing noses that's in New Zealand.

[00:11:00] Matt: [00:10:59] I got you KJ.

Fawn: [00:11:02] We, of course, there's a greeting where we shake hands. Can you stop looking at me, Matt,

Matt: [00:11:07] I'm not looking at you.

Fawn: [00:11:08] You're bothering me. So we shake hands in Botswana, China, Germany, Zambia, Rwanda, the middle East, I guess, here in the United States, too. And of course, you know, this is pre COVID, but who cares? I mean, COVID will be over hopefully soon.

Anyway. , do you know another greeting is to clap hands, which is funny because I didn't know this, but on my own, like when I get excited about seeing someone I do like, uh, you know, but that's a deal. That's the clapping of hands in Zimbabwe and Mozambique. So here's how they do it. It's really interesting.

So the clapping of hands happens after you shake hands and so [00:12:00] comes after a shake and it's like a call. And answer style, a call and answer style. The first person claps once and the second person twice in response. So Matt, hi, I'm going to shake your hand and then you clap once. And I go, is that cool?

I love that. Anyway. So that's Zimbabwe and Mozambique, then there's also a greeting where you put your hand on your heart in Malaysia, depending on people and situations of course, , you take the opposite, person's hand lightly in yours. Then you release the person's hand and bring your own hands to your chest and, nod slightly to symbolize Goodwill and an open heart. Then there's also the greeting where we bow. That's mostly in Cambodia, India, [00:13:00] Nepal, Laos, Thailand and Japan. There's another greeting where we sniff faces. That's in Greenland. I'm not sure how to pronounce this.

Is it Tavalu Lu. It's Oceana. Basically. It's pressing cheeks together and taking a deep breath. So you're rubbing cheeks and you take a deep breath in. Then of course, the greeting of where you pay major respect to your elders. And that's in a lot of countries. You always greet your elders first in India, we touch their feet.

In Liberia and parts of Nigeria, young people  drop to one knee or both knees to honor their elders.

 This brings me to now walking around, I mean, especially in the United States, you guys, we have a round table  from people  around the world, but [00:14:00] , I want to generalize and say, I've always noticed, and it's always really upset me when people are like, hi, how are you? Because I, over the years noticed, wow, they really didn't care about how I was, or they looked really annoyed.

Because I was like, Oh, well, you know, I told them a feeling I was having like, wow, I'm just taking up their day. They it's just really, it's not a sincere question. , it's not okay. It's  mean I don't like it. So why are you even asking me, you know, please, can we come up with something else?

And then on the other side of it was, , you asked someone, how are you? And you know, they're going through stuff and they're like, fine. And so that happened for years Matt you and I came across what "FINE" actually means when people say fine, you know, we started to think this, and then we actually saw it in [00:15:00] a movie, fine.

F I N E actually stands four freaked out insecure. Neurotic and emotional. So ever since we saw that in the movie, Matt and I like, if one of us says fine, we're like, Oh shoot, Oh, it's bad news. If someone says fine. Well, well, honestly it depends on the tone. Like if somebody is like, Hey, how you doing?

Fine. Ooh, no, you also hear people say fine. Well, yeah, but there's that lingering, longing at the end. I don't know. There are all kinds of ways and no one is sincere about it and that's got to stop.  Let's talk about this. How can we change this? How can we change this? Who should go first? Who wants to go first?

I don't even know what to say. Other than much like the busy, [00:16:00] which is a four letter F U word that I don't like busy, fine is another one that really pisses me off. And how are you, where I know good and well, you, you, the person couldn't care less. So let's change that because I've noticed ever since we started talking about the word busy and how it's a four-letter word, whoever talks to us that has listened to our podcasts will not use that word.

And if they trip and , say it by accident, they profusely apologize for saying busy. So maybe we can change fine. And how are you?

Paul: [00:16:40] That's why, you know, like if they're saying, sorry, when they're saying busy, they got, a guilty conscience, if they're just saying they're busy, I'll see you later like, uh, and they got an, a guilty conscience about it, they're probably all right. And then if, if you will like, you know, offended them, maybe it's not your thing being offended, but yeah. If there's going conscious behind it, [00:17:00] then something dodgy going on in there.

Fawn: [00:17:03] Well, it's always dodgy, like busy, like I'm busy. Well, okay. But if you're more humane about it or human about it, you can say I was washing the dishes all day long, or I have, you know, I'm doing laundry or I just don't want to go.

I don't want to go to where I, instead of saying I'm busy, it's just like a blanket statement. Like I'm not even going to give you the courtesy of letting you know about my life. I'm just busy. Here's a wall I'm busy as opposed to. I need the whole day to chill. I need the whole day to ground myself

Matt: [00:17:43] and you haven't, then you're inviting more conversation and the person just wants to cut it off.

Paul: [00:17:48] Well, then it might be also like justification as well, or you don't need to justify yourself. And maybe like, if you don't know the person that way, or the, maybe you feel like you might have to, but if, [00:18:00] especially if it's a friend, you just tell them you're busy, I'll chat to you in a bit. And hopefully that friend would just be like, won't take it to heart at all.

But it's, it's also like, I think, , how you say stuff, you know, if, if you do say it, like, it's like how you stay on busy if you're like, sorry, darling, I'm busy. I'll see you later. Um, but I'm busy speaking to you, right. And it's like,

Fawn: [00:18:25] Paul, you can say anything to me and say busy all day long and I'll be like, okay, well, okay.

But no, but honestly you can say I can't do it. And that's it. You know, I just, I just want busy to kind of not be used as much because you can still say, you know, in two short words or three short words, I don't want to explain, but I'm doing something else or I'm not into it and be gracious about it instead of just one word busy and, you know,

Beth: [00:18:58] it's, uh, [00:19:00] Our words are really powerful though out there.

I think it was, sometimes we say we're busy and it's just a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. So we become even more. Busy, you know what we say? We haven't got enough time, so we don't have enough time. Yeah.

Fawn: [00:19:11] And we do have plenty of time. Exactly. Beth it's like, yeah, it becomes this like, uh, scratchy, gray, gross, like chaotic, like, you know, those old cartoons where the person's head had the scratchy, um, pencil drawn, like, like it's just a scratchy, messy, busy, like pencil drawing.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Matt: [00:19:36] I have absolutely no idea.

Fawn: [00:19:37] You don't know what I'm talking about? You know, it's like a cloud wait. Nobody does. Okay. So there's a drawing and there's like, instead of a cloud, like it's like a cloud over someone's head, but it's like, if you take a pencil and just scratch all the graphite on the piece of paper, it's like, it's like a messy, like gray, like, like it's confusion [00:20:00] and chaotic.

And, um, I don't know. I just, I just feel like it's the same. That same vibe is happening when we see one another and we greet each other by, hi, how are you? It's it's just really paying attention to how words are actually affecting us. And in Paul's case, I mean, he comes from a magical area and everything is so beautiful and people are lovely.

Same with you Beth, over there. But like, I just feel like, I don't know, is it just me? Am I the only one that who feels this way? Like things are so busy and people are so wrapped up in chaos that it's just a sound that you make, is it to say, hi, how are you? Uh it's

Brooke: [00:20:51] I think what happens Fawn is like, when we, when we start doing things and we get overwhelmed ourselves, it's an easier way to [00:21:00] say I'm busy.

Like it's, it is hard. Harsh and I, for Christmas got, , a trinket and it said I'm so busy and someone gave it to me because they thought it was cute. And I went,

Oh, no, that's how I sound. I sound that way. Like, I don't want people to think I'm just too busy or maybe like Beth was just saying like, I'm too important.

Like, that's not what I wanted to come off as, so now it's funny. I joke with my kids and I'll hold it up when I'm on a, like a podcast recording or something and I'll go, I'm so busy, but it makes them laugh because it turned into like a joke. So now, instead of saying that I'm more cautious, but I will say this, it wasn't until I had conversations with different people outside my own culture and my own area that I recognized how things sounded because in my world, it's easy to say, how are you fine.

Good. How, like, it's, it's the way you greet, like, yeah, I'm fine. Um, [00:22:00] I actually am one that has always hated that word. And I hate content. I think if someone's fine or content they're in hell now I know that that's not true. I know people look at that differently, but for me, especially doing what I do, I don't want to walk into a wedding and have someone say to me, I'm fine.

No, no, you're great. This is your writing day. You're happy, you're excited! Like it's, it's the same way. Like people get into the same routine and it's not even an intentional thing in their minds. It's just the way of their world. And until you look outside of that, which a lot of people they don't do for whatever reason, there's a million.

But when someone pointed out to me now, I say, Oh, I have a very full day today. Like, and I make a joke because like, I'll, I promise I'll call you back when you know, I can give you some like some focus, like I can focus on what you're talking about or. But it never was like that for me [00:23:00] until I started to recognize all the different things that, , people share with each other, and now I pay closer attention.

But when you're wrapped up in your day to day world, sometimes it's just easier for people to not have to take on another thing, because it seems grand instead of recognizing it could be one tweak of a word and it makes someone else's day feel better.

Fawn: [00:23:21] Brooke. That was so beautifully put and it reminds me of what I wanted to say is that we can not even say anything.

We can, it can just be looking into each other's eyes and like taking a look at what other countries do. Like just putting your hand on your heart. And if the person, if it will not be misconstrued, if you could gently take their hand for a split second, let go, and then hold your heart. You're not saying anything, but you're saying so much and there's pure love and compassion and a healing.

Dare I say a healing [00:24:00] that can happen in a second. And we didn't have to use any words. And we are all seen and heard by just a gesture or a glance. Like,  and then I did something in the past week. , we've had to talk to a lot of people recently because of the podcast.  Before we start, people will say, hi, how are you before we start recording?

I'm like, Oh my God. And I decided to try something out because, , I had this crazy headache that lasted a week and it was starting to freak me out. I was really getting scared, like what is happening and most of the people that we have meetings with this week were  fellow podcasters. And two of them said it exactly the same way.

Hi, how are you? I'm like, you know what, Kevin, um, I have this really bad headache. I know, I know we're about to start our meeting, but actually I've had a crazy headache. Do you get headaches? Like, is it a [00:25:00] podcasters thing? And I caught them off guard, but immediately I could see their face change and it softened.

And I remember, uh, the first person I talked to was Kevin and he leaned into the camera a little bit, like half an inch. So say it's a podcaster thing. He goes, do you wear this kind of headphone? And I'm like, why, yes I do. He's like, that's the problem. And then the, and then I said it again when we had a different meeting with our friend Matthew from cause pods, by the way, shout out to cause pods and shout out to Kevin from Grow the Show Podcast. But, uh, I was talking to Matthew and he said we were both doing PodFest. Like we were part of PodFest. And I said, you know, I was joking. I'm like, I blamed PodFest because I was listening with headphones on for two weeks, straight from six in the morning until seven at night.

He's like, yeah, you can't do that. You can't, [00:26:00] you cannot as podcasters. We cannot like to be listening like that and something over your ear, that'll do it to you. And you know, I didn't say fine. And I know they were asking me like, Hey, hi, how are you? Expecting I find let's go like, let's start pressing buttons and get on with the show.

But it created, I think I know from my side I felt love from them. I felt like they got to know me better and I got to know them better because they showed a part of their lives and a part of their expertise that I normally wouldn't have seen. Like they showed compassion and it literally took five seconds.

Six seconds of time, you know?

Matt: [00:26:46] Yeah. No, no, no, absolutely. Um, I have to say that, uh, yeah. At work, starting a new project, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But you know, I come into it with what I call belligerent ignorance. So I actually come into it and [00:27:00] I say, I don't know how to do something like, uh, but as a techie, you're never supposed to say that because you're supposed to know all, but you can't know it all.

And so being, I call it belligerent because you know, I'm not embarrassed. I'm not being sheepish. I'm saying, Hey, help me figure this out. Cause it's usually, , client-specific knowledge that there's no way I could have. , I find that this really starts to open people up because you're immediately saying, I acknowledge you.

I acknowledge that, you know, stuff I don't. And all of a sudden it's like, we're, we're starting to get real with each other. And I th I think that's important, , in many ways,  you do, you're doing what I can, what I call , cutting someone's ki.  Somebody has got a very focused steadfast, let's go in this direction, and you're immediately saying, Whoa, let's go over here.

Fawn: [00:27:46] Which raises a question. Okay. So I have a question for you guys. Do you think that we're afraid to connect with one another? Much like when we walk past someone on the street who may be homeless or who may be having trouble and we can sense it, [00:28:00] you know, because we are all interconnected and that's the whole point of our round table is to show that interconnectedness because we are all deeply intertwined.

The way we become connected is through sound through our words and through our eyes and through our touch. So we're afraid to make eye contact because as soon as we do, , we travel into the realms of each other's universes. So we don't want to do that because it's too much pain. If we feel like the homeless person has too much pain, we don't want to connect with that.

Or we feel ashamed to connect with that because maybe we feel guilty because we're not homeless. There's so much.  Are we afraid to truly know how we are doing?

KJ: [00:28:50] I, I had an interesting, I saw you lean in Matt. So what that actually, um, highlights what I wanted to say and that [00:29:00] you spoke to, Fawn. There's something about reteaching ourselves to notice the non-verbal. So like even now I saw Matt lean towards the microphone, right. And so that was a cue to me to be like, I want to be aware. I want to, I want to notice, and I'd like to give Matt a moment as well. We both were responding to your question.

And so I just wanted to say, I have a story that encompasses almost the whole part of your question on, and, um, it was around, um, I was walking down the street, , in my neighborhood here and, , there, there were a couple of homeless folks I'm familiar with them because that was their spot. I I'm familiar with this couple.

And, um, I saw them asking folks in front of me and this was before pandemic times. And so we were all just kinda [00:30:00] wandering around in clustered in our groups and going on our Merry way. Um, I saw them, I saw this homeless couple ask folks, Hey, do you have anything to. To help us out with tonight and people would ignore, or people would just kind of keep going, going forward and not acknowledge at all.

And then it came to us. I was in a group, there were three of us walking across the sidewalk and they asked us anything that we can, anything that we can help with tonight. And my companion said, I'm sorry, not, not tonight. Um, and I, I said the same thing and I said, no, not tonight. I'm sorry. And the homeless fellow was just like, you're, you're not sorry.

You're not sorry. Don't say that to me. You're not sorry. And it made me so uncomfortable because he couldn't have known this, of course, but I had literally just [00:31:00] been told about a financial disaster that I'm experiencing in my own life. And I had no money. I had not a penny to rub together to share with this individual, but for me to, I literally, and I literally was apologizing, , for myself and for the situation and that I couldn't offer this to this gentleman, but he wouldn't that wasn't in the realm.

We were not connecting on that level. And, , so yes, I just, I just want to say that there's so many layers behind our words and noticing, like I said, to start this whole thing off, noticing the non-verbal noticing tone, noticing body language and posture, um, and being aware, being aware, aware of what your own stuff is in the moment. This man, very difficult life.; I absolutely understand that. So [00:32:00] he was lashing out at me coming from his experience. And I was, I responded because of my experience. And so, but we missed each other completely. We really didn't hear that we were actually both in pain.

Fawn: [00:32:14] But I think that both of you still had an interaction, which is what most people do not.

He needed to express to all the people that were not sorry, that said whatever they said he needed to express that. Yeah. And you also express to him what you were feeling , and had to really tell yourself, Hey, I am also going through this. So in a way you didn't push anything out and neither did he.

So I still see, I don't know if I'm making any sense here, but I still, hearing that story of yours KJ, I can see that there was an interaction. There was still a dance between you [00:33:00] and it was human. It was not like it was not. I'm sorry. Our computer battery just, , made a sound. So now I forgot what I was saying.

It was

Brooke: [00:33:15] Fawn. Let me just, okay. Did you catch, did you remember, I was just going to kind of bring you back to what you were saying.

Fawn: [00:33:20] No, go ahead. Go ahead, Brooke. What were you going to say?

Brooke: [00:33:25] The bottom line is there are people that like KJ, you put yourself out there, you were really feeling pain for that gentlemen and knowing what you do for a living and how you, you know, you want to help people.

, I think sometimes people get more worried about being treated that way, Fawn and that's why they don't interact. I think sometimes a story like what's with what KJ just shared, you know, I had, I had a very, um, kind of strange story when I was a child, we were on a trip and I went to a Catholic [00:34:00] school.

So one of the priests were running the trip and there was a homeless man and I wanted to give the man money. And I was probably like, I was elementary school. I was a little like maybe fifth grade, something like that. And the priest said, no, you can't do that, but you can give him food if you'd like, like, I can't let you, you know, and I will take it to him.

Like you can't get off the bus. And I said, so I  got everybody on the bus to, to give me their food. Like I went around, I said, just give me the food. Like I went out and it wasn't the, like I thought I was doing something great. The man wanted money. Not food. So it's, and I'm not saying this because I disagree with what you're saying, Fawn. I think what you're saying is very powerful, but I think there's a lot of people that have stories that they've tried to do something good, or they did do something good. That's another word for may try. I hate that word. Um, but then they get swatted and they go, Ooh. And if you're not someone that's [00:35:00] ready to come back for round two, or you don't have an open mind or, um, you know, that desire, like you sort of hold on to certain things.

So maybe the, the change for us all is like, maybe we give it a second chance. You know, maybe the, the, the background is even if it hasn't gone exactly the way you wanted it to go the first time around, maybe that next time you'll actually make a difference in someone's life. And it'll cause a different reaction.

But, you know, I think we live that way all the time were things that, you know, we get stuck in what our past has shown us and we forget that it's okay to move past that and do something new.

Fawn: [00:35:38] And also it's just beyond our past experiences. I think it's just what I was trying to say was at least there's an interaction.

I think that needs to be the first step is it has to be an interaction. The, the transaction may not have been financial, but there was a transaction that occurred with KJ and this [00:36:00] man, and it was two humans together. Now it may not have been what the man was wanting and you know, and it's definitely not what KJ wanted, but there was an interaction instead of ignoring  one another, instead of pretending that person doesn't exist there wasn't a, there was an interaction, there was a communication.

And I, what I was trying to say was that's. A great first step. And, and it also made me think, what country is it? Does anyone know there's a country where if you truly don't have anything to provide someone and someone is begging you say, I'm sorry, please forgive me. It's not the Hawaiian one. It's I want to say, is it the Philippines?

Like if you don't have money to give you say, I'm sorry, sir, please forgive me. But like just the whole forgiveness thing, like to say, please forgive me. [00:37:00] I have tried that like moments when I had no money. And I say, please forgive me. And I look at the person's eyes. They're probably surprised one is I'm what I'm guessing.

But it was not the normal interaction. It was like, they kind of paused and like were like, Oh, okay. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Instead of just ignoring one another. And it's not just with homeless people, it's with one another. It's just in a way we're ignoring each other by saying, how are you doing?

You know? And not even, not even like pausing for a response or if there's a response looking annoyed.

Paul: [00:37:43] I think, um, I think the beautiful thing about, um, what you're on about like interacting say with like the homeless person and then not being what someone sometimes maybe expects like, first of all, that's expectations and that's that [00:38:00] own person's expectation a bit going beautifully.

And then secondly, um, when it doesn't go as like one expects or it doesn't go, um, the outcome isn't like beautiful. The main thing to know for me personally, how I do it, main thing I know is that it was a test. And if I pass that test and even like how hard that struggle was just doing, maybe a simple chat or whatever, and confrontation.

If I kept challenging my, um, reactions, if they want to be like frustration intolerance, impatience, if I keep challenging my mind and going with tolerance and patience and love and stuff like that, even if the outcome is by the end of it, not amazing, I did my best and that's all that matters. And that is that's perfect.

Isn't it? That's like the best outcome that can come. Really. It's not meant to be a good [00:39:00] outcome, but it's meant to be like a test for self and how I act in that moment. If that makes sense.

Matt: [00:39:07] That's an interesting way of thinking about it, for sure.

Beth: [00:39:10] I think like, even now, like the fact that we're having a conversation about things that happened a long time ago, that connection.

The interaction has led us to having a conversation such as this. So I think just that, that, that connection at that point in time, and we all do look at things. We all do have our own assumptions and different lenses by which we connect with people. And sometimes we want to connect and sometimes we don't want to connect, you know, there's times when, I would say I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert.

If I go to a networking event, an actual extrovert head-on and I'm connecting with everybody in that room. There's other times when I'm walking down the street and I don't want to put my invisible  cloque on, cause I don't want to really interact with anybody. So I think it's sometimes it's about that choice and being able to read, being able to read the room, being able to read the body language, being able to [00:40:00] give people space and that pause to allow people to speak because sometimes we want to fill that space when we ask somebody how they are and then maybe they don't say anything at all.

I think sometimes just giving people that space to breathe and think, and.

You guys, this is why I stay home a lot. Pandemic aside is Matt, is it not true? If I feel off psychically, I'm like, I can't go out today because I don't have the capability to interact in situations that may throw me off guard.

Like, I don't know what's going to happen. Like, I, I, I just don't know. And so like, I have a brief little story of like, people ignoring me. I have many stories of people ignoring me, which happens quite a lot. I don't know why I can say and point to racism. So I remember I was eight months pregnant and I was on a photo shoot [00:41:00] and it was in Seattle and it was pouring rain and my equipment.

I have cases and cases of equipment. So I'm eight months pregnant, carrying all the equipment myself. Now I had a Dolly, you know, but it's still heavy stuff. It's, it's a lot of work. If you're on a photo shoot, you need a team with you. It was just me and little Elle inside of me, but it was pouring rain. And I was in this, uh, part of a building.

I was photographing for a pretty well-known architect. And I had access to the building. I had all the security, whatever, all the measures. And then I saw all these other architects that were on the grounds and they looked very official. They were in their suits and, you know, there were walking and it was all the men and they were quite, not too far away, but enough for them to hear my voice, [00:42:00] I couldn't lift the Dolly and all my equipment up over this one step.

To leave the building, like the building hadn't been completely finished being made. So I was in like part of the construction area and I really needed help and things were slippery because of all the rain and everything. And you know, I look at some people and I could tell the way they ignore me. They know I'm there, but they ignore me.

Like I can, I know, they know and are aware of my presence, especially when I say, excuse me, sir. And I could tell, like they were trying to look at me, but they didn't want to look at me because they probably thought because of the way I look that I was a servant a maide whatever person that they feel like they can ignore and it's socially acceptable.

Um, and [00:43:00] so I noticed that that was happening. Am I, excuse me, sir? Can you help me lift this? Equipment, can you help me? And he looked at me, the one of the men, the others didn't even bother to look. They kept walking and he grunted. And I think he grunted like, no, like it w I, and they kept walking and I thought, well, isn't this a bitch.

Like, it took me forever to figure out how to lift all my equipment up and over this one step eight months pregnant making me feel bad that I wasn't there. You were working Matt. I went on lots of photo-shoots without you. I know it's not pretty to feel bad. What I'm trying to say is, you know, even if that, if all the men have looked at me and just said, Oh, my God, like, just stop.

Like obviously they didn't have the capacity to get over their racism or if it wasn't racism, they didn't have the ability to like stop and say, Oh wow, we're we're [00:44:00] under this time constraints. And we can't even give another human being a second of a help. Or even if the help is sorry, we see you. We have to run.

We're really sorry. We'll try to figure something out. Just like, say something to me as a human being. And I think that's one of the problems these days. I don't know why all this has occurred. I don't know why everyone is suddenly so busy and so wrapped up in their own thing that we can't truly hear  one another to really know how we are doing or to even offer help.

And that help could have been just a look like. Oh, man. I see what you're what you're up against. Hold on. Let me figure something out. Or let me guys, like, there was like five men. I'm sure they could have just easily taken 10 seconds of their time to lift one suitcase of lighting [00:45:00] equipment. You know what I mean?

Like, Ugh, everyone's quiet. Am I sounding crazy?

Matt: [00:45:07] No, but I, I think there's a wide variety of emotions that go into it that people get wrapped up in. Cause you know, I like to ride my bike and when somebody's got a flat and you, you know, you ask them if they need help, sometimes I'll just be like, and they'll make you feel stupid for offering to help them.

So, , I've gotten to a place now where I'm like, all right, man, rock on. But like, you have to be in that frame of mind, you know, I'm being helpful. They don't want it. And that's cool. Not, um, I'm thinking I'm gonna, I'm offering help. They say, ah, and I back away, you know, it's, it's a different mindset.

It's it's, again, this kind of it's, it's belligerent on some level, but  it's a benevolent belligerence. , I just liked the word belligerent.

Brooke: [00:45:53] I want to tell you a quick story. I had last week that kind of follows the same suit. I was trying to find a [00:46:00] venue for one of our couples and similar to what you're talking about.

Like you, you wonder what's going on in someone else's world where they're so detached from the conversation or the situation. And now it looks like to me, like, okay, I'm just going to ask, so this one gentlemen, I said, Oh, you know, I need some information. We want to send some clients your way. It was a venue.

And he's like, I, I can't talk to you right now. I don't have time for this. I don't have to. I went, I'm sorry. Let me just make myself clear. I want to send you business. Do you not want me to send you business? Cause I can move on to the other 15 right in the area. He went nice,

Fawn: [00:46:42] Brooke. I love it.

Brooke: [00:46:44] But it was switching his mentality.

He had something so important and who knows his wife could have been in labor for all. I know all that, but he wasn't giving me the response. So finally, I just stopped it and said, let me ask you a question. If you don't want [00:47:00] this, that's fine. I'll find somebody who does. But sometimes I think I used to analyze every situation and now I've decided there really is no time for the.

Analyzing of everything. It's let me just ask the question, let me figure out what's going on. And had I been there and saw that Fawn, I would have went right up to those people and said, are you kidding me? She's eight months pregnant and you can't give her a hand shame on you. And I bet every one of those people would have came over and helped you.

Like sometimes they just need to be reminded that that's just, that's just unkind. That's not nice Be kind.

KJ: [00:47:32] There's a mindlessness involved a carelessness. Um, some of it Beth touched on it. Some of it is habit. And we may not even understand that we are doing it. It's so deeply embedded in our patterns, in our patterning and, and in our models, if our entire family speaks this way, and this is the exchange that happens in our family, it might be very easy to and [00:48:00] comfortable to sit back and like, well, that's just, that's just, that's just our way, but, but forgetting to explain or, or have the capacity to see, but it's not just this one definition, there are more people involved. Uh, but so that's what I've noticed that there's like this impulse and pattern and habit more than anything. So, hi, how are you? It's there is no pause because it's not even just "Hi". The whole greeting is actually, hi, how are you? It's not an actual, I I've noticed more often than anything.

And I guess it's because it's what I do for a living. I literally want to know how you are. So I won't ask that question unless we're sitting side, you know, sitting in a, in a conversational space and I'll ask you, how are you? But I can understand how folks, , might develop this as , it's a mindless thing. It's just what you do.

Paul: [00:48:52] We, we say that in England that we back instead of "Hi", we sometimes go, how's it going? And that just means hi. We don't, we don't [00:49:00] want to respond. So it's just hi. It's our greeting Yeah. I like it.

Beth: [00:49:07] No. I was going to say I do. I do think like what KJ was saying, unless you're willing to hear the answer, maybe you want to, you want to ask it, don't ask it.

Or say something else. Say something else. There's something else. If you're not willing to get the real answer.

Paul: [00:49:23] KJ was, was, um, going kind of deeper into, like you're saying it's something like deeply rooted in us. I think like, um, doing like that thing with ignoring Fawn and about being pregnant and helping out and stuff and all that kind of stuff, ignoring people and not wanting to know.

I think the main thing it comes from, it's just the fear of ego of your ego self losing like part of itself its identity. It's pride, it's strength, your ego doesn't want to lose it. And that's so like in [00:50:00] ingrained into us as a human being. You know, that's one of the challenges of, of being human being.

Isn't it, it's trying to let go of ego, which is not positive.

Fawn: [00:50:12] I was going to say it is so much fun and I prob okay. The following I'm about to say is so much fun for me. Um, and I got to the state because I have been burned so many times by people and instead of like turning into a curmudgeon and joining the gang and joining people and being heartless and not compassionate, I kind of went the opposite way.

And I was going to say, it's so much fun not to care and okay, this is going to sound wrong. But bear with me by not caring, what I mean is I don't care about the norms of our society. I [00:51:00] have actually stopped asking people how they are. I will point stuff out, I'll see a stranger and go, are you in pain?

Like, are you, you know, like, I won't say, are you okay? But I'm like, are you okay? Or if I sense, like they need a glass of water, I'll just like, here, drink this. Do you know what I mean? Obviously not to a stranger on the street, but you get the gist of what I'm saying. And it just taking this automatic autopilot and destroying it.

And using words that people are know are, um, expecting, you know, like going up to strangers and saying, damn, you look beautiful. You don't even know them. Who cares, but they look beautiful. Or, you know, like if someone obviously needs help, you know, they need help. Don't ask them, just do it.

 A long time ago I read this  article and I was meant to read [00:52:00] this article because a couple of weeks later something happened and it was because I read this article, it made me do the following. So the article was about these women. I think they were in Paul. I think they were in Thailand. I don't remember what country actually, but they were traveling and there was another woman traveling and there was an accident, um, like a tourism sort of thing where this woman's husband died in a tragic accident.

And she was obviously grief stricken and in shock. And there were these two other women that were on the outskirts of her life. Like they didn't know each other, but they witnessed what this woman went through. And the government somehow was trying to have this woman sign a waiver. Saying, basically, um, release any kind of responsibility from the tourism board or [00:53:00] whatever it was that caused the death of her husband.

And because this woman was experiencing so much shock and grief, she was about to sign this thing. And these women who didn't know her were trying to say, Hey, are you okay? And of course the woman would push them. She, the woman pushes them away. And this article went on and on about how this woman kept pushing them away and wouldn't accept any help and actually told the women leave me alone, but they didn't because they knew she needed help and they didn't and they persevered and they made sure she didn't sign.

And the point of the article was when people are in pain, they may not even know. They, they don't know how to ask for help. They don't even, even if they do know to ask for help, they don't know how to ask or what to ask for. So if you're aware of something, just be present and don't give up. So when I read this [00:54:00] article, two weeks later, we had just moved into this house on Bainbridge Island.

Bainbridge Island is a place it's a little Island between Seattle and basically the other part of the part of the continent or whatever you call it. What do you call it? It's a little Island that kind of, um, people drive through. It looks like foresty. It's a foresty area, but very unconcerned people live there.

Like I am appalled by the kind of personality, the kind of culture that exists there. We lived there for a few years and it was really the catalyst that created the whole friendship movement because of the way people behaved .When we moved there, there was a house across the way we lived in this forest area, an older couple lived there and somehow through gossip, cause that's how people communicated. It was just pure gossip. The gossip was [00:55:00] Oh, uh, Mr. Palmer , has alzheimer's and you know, I'm like, well,  okay. Well, I'm glad I got that information. I didn't know. So one day I was coming home from a photo shoot and the sun was setting it's in the forest and it's getting dark and we didn't have sidewalks.

So like they're like slippery roads, windy roads. And I see Mr. Palmer walking in the other direction from his house and looking at his body language, I could tell he doesn't know where he is and I had never met him before. It was just pure gossip that I found out these people have this situation going on.

So I stopped the car. I rolled the window and I start yelling, Mr. Palmer, hi, this is Fawn. I'm your neighbor? Are you headed home? And he looked at me like, so thankfully, but like I could tell he was confused. He was like, yeah, I want to go home and like, jump on it. I'm headed in that direction. You [00:56:00] know, like, so I made him get in the car and I delivered him to his wife, Sylvia.

And it was the first time we ever met. And it was a few weeks after that, that he actually passed away. Right. Matt and yeah. And we were the only ones that were new to that whole neighborhood. People had known each other for decades. No one helped nobody helped. And. It was because I read that article because I was brave enough and couldn't care less enough to care what people would yell at me about like, go away.

I don't want you leave me alone. I don't care. I'm still going to step in there and be pushy if pushy is the right word. But like, you know, Matt was out there at three in the morning trying to revive Mr. Palmer, the night he passed away. And none of the other neighbors helped. They could [00:57:00] see all the fire trucks and all the ambulances and all the commotion.

And, you know, they're watching it cause they gossiped like nobody's business and nobody came to help the next day. Nobody came to see if she was okay the day after that, that they, after that, the week after that ever, that needs to stop. I'm sorry, long about windy. Tyra Tai Tai tirade. Is that the word tirades?

Brooke: [00:57:32] No, but it's good.

It's good that you bring this up because maybe now whoever's listening to this round table, you know, all of us have our certain take on things, but hopefully someone which is why we put, you know, why we joined to do this anyway, was to give everybody a little bit of a different impression.

So that way maybe you've reached somebody at a whole different level today that never even realized that they were doing something [00:58:00] so rude or, and I'll use the word rude cause that your story that's horrible. That's rude. Um, to me at least, um, I think that sometimes people don't realize that other people need just a bit of kindness and they need to get out of their own way and, and give it to them.

So hopefully, you know, if anything like people listening to today's show got that from your stories and from the questions that you've asked us and, you know, it's certainly making me think of things that I could do better in my world, for sure. So I hope other people get that same experience.

Fawn: [00:58:36] And what I'm saying is, you know, thanks, Brooke.

Um, and also if you feel like you don't have the capacity, you don't have it in you to step outside and you can't handle something, then take care of yourself. Right. I mean, of course we all talk about this, right. And people call it, uh, what do you call it, Beth and KJ. We [00:59:00] always talk about this. It's a.

KJ: [00:59:02] Self care, care boundaries self-compassion

Brooke: [00:59:06] Fawn. Do you, do you think you have a problem Fawn, if you couldn't remember the word self care for yourself?

Fawn: [00:59:12] When I hear self-care I feel rage.

Brooke: [00:59:18] Listen, I think we're

all on the same point and same, same point in life. Right.

Fawn: [00:59:26] But, you know, I just, you know, just taking it back to how are you, I want to go around. Let's think of a different greeting we could have instead of how are you, , you know,  one of my favorite movies that, uh, I have lots of paper of movies, but there's one and each movie that I love, I have watched probably how many times Matt, like maybe in the too many triple digits, you guys it's possible.

Cause it's been years. Right? And so, and some of the movies become like [01:00:00] signs from the universe for me. And also a music. Like I have a relationship with, , Ray, Charles. I have been in remote areas without electricity and Ray Charles will come on and every time Ray Charles comes on something crazy, crazy, crazy miraculous transpires.

It is off the wall, like amazing. So one of the movies is "Coming to America" with Eddie Murphy and Oh my God. I totally forgot what I was going to say. Um, Oh, there's a scene where Eddie Murphy. Comes up to these little girls that are staff that are sitting at the front steps. He comes close to them. He's like, I have a date with Lisa today.

You know, I don't know if you guys are familiar with that scene, but he finally gets a date with a woman. That's awesome. Do you know what I mean? Like, no, these kids, these kids [01:01:00] don't know him. He just comes and he's like, Oh, but they with Lisa today and he's so happy and you know what? That is a perfect substitution for.

Hi, how are you?

So let's, let's just quickly. Um, and that'll be the way we close the show off today. Let's,  come up with some new way to greet each other. And having said that, I have no idea what I would say because it changes every time.  But like let's think of a different greeting.

Matt: [01:01:34] Well, I have to say when I'm on a zoom chat, I can just be like, Paul, I see you.

KJ: [01:01:40] Exactly.

Fawn: [01:01:41] I like that.

Paul: [01:01:43] That's nice. That's deep as well. Yeah. I see that as cool. We may like, sometimes I'll just go to my mates moody. Like we won't do like the Thai bow Thais, you know, they hold their hands and then the closer is your forehead, the [01:02:00] more respect they have for you and stuff, I'll do a lot at fancy twirl. You know, I'm on about to get one, one hand and you do like the little fancy twirl and the up one is like stretched out back.

And if we're playing, if it's like teammates, we know each other well, and we're playing around with you, stop by that. That's nice.

Brooke: [01:02:19] That's awesome.

Matt: [01:02:21] Okay, Paul, I think I'm getting a crush on you. I see that that is adorable.

Fawn: [01:02:32] Matt, remember would go, , to that vegan buffet and that one woman that would help us every time would curtsy. And she was not English British or anything. She would curtsy you guys like the full blown every time she saw us every time. So if in the course of an hour, she would see us what like 10 times. 15 times, but every time we said something nice, like, Oh my God, thank you for bringing us water.

Bam, curtsy, [01:03:00] curtsy. Full-blown curtsy like full -blown. Yeah. It was amazing. It kind of goes along with what Paul just demonstrated, you know? No, no, no, absolutely. I see you, Paul. Okay. Okay. Here's what I'm going to do from now on. I'm going to applaud.

Beth: [01:03:21] That's what I mean. Sometimes though I do

As do

KJ: [01:03:24] I

Beth: [01:03:25] that I haven't seen for a while. I will be like so excited and

like,

Fawn: [01:03:27] let's do two strangers. We've never been down and do that. Yeah.

Paul: [01:03:31] My mom and my sister did that. Me and my dad, we did different than the males in the family. We like wrap our hands when we get excited.

all: [01:03:38] Nice, nice thing.

Brooke: [01:03:42] I think I'm just going to go up and just randomly like, hi. Touch them. Hi. Well, I guess, you know, after COVID of course they might, they might get me

arrested.

Fawn: [01:03:54] I like that.

Brooke: [01:03:58] How can you ignore me?

[01:04:00] Fawn: [01:04:01] Oh my God. I love it. Now you look like a cheerleading cheerleader, uh, driving a helicopter, driving, flying.

Brooke: [01:04:13] It all made sense to me. Fawn. I knew what you meant.

Fawn: [01:04:17] KJ. It's your turn. No pressure.

KJ: [01:04:19] I had a couple of responses, but, um, cause I too, I'm very tactile. So Brooke, I'm I'm with you sister. I, I, I love to just even just, uh, Pat someone on the shoulder, but I also realize that, that there are all sorts of boundaries that could come up for that. And COVID so having not touching, not the tactile piece, um, I, this could be good for you Fawn when you're like, not sure what to say in the moment, because it changes all the time.

I look for a color that either they're wearing or is around them. And I comment on the color that yellow is fantastic on you.

Fawn: [01:04:56] I love that. I love that. I love that. [01:05:00] Yeah. You guys

Beth: [01:05:00] We don't  do that.enough with strangers, we don't compliment people enough.

Fawn: [01:05:05] No, that's why I said you have to be courageous.

Right. Just jump in there and not care. Not care.

Brooke: [01:05:12] Absolutely.

Fawn: [01:05:13] Don't care about the insecurities or whatever there you're going to get told. Just don't care. Just go for it. Right.

Paul: [01:05:22] especially if they're wearing mustard. Love a bit of mustard

Fawn: [01:05:25] are you talking about a real mustard or the color? I'm not much of a fan of the real mustard, but the color that's all right.

Paul: [01:05:34] Don't mind a bit of that.

Brooke: [01:05:38] The sun

KJ: [01:05:38] don't be alarmed when all of us show up on the next call in mustard

Paul: [01:05:42] I won't know what to say. I will be on the floor. Just like having some kind of than epiphany dream.

Yeah. I w I wanted to say fair. I was like, I don't know if I should use that word, but yeah. Okay. Fair. I'll be Ave. Oh my God. Can you imagine the trials is [01:06:00] about nine 96? Well, I don't think that's the extent of my mustard wardrobe. Yeah.

let's all meet and Greece on the beach. All of us wearing mustard, bikinis or swimsuits.

Yeah. Okay. How about this mustard color? I'll wear it. I don't mind.

Fawn: [01:06:30] I love you guys so much. Thank you for I, um, I love how this all came together and I guess now coming to a close, I want to say, how do we, you know, I always laugh because when I want to say goodbye, it takes me a good 30, 35 minutes to finally , end something to like, even when you come to our house and we're leaving or probably spent 45 minutes at the door, Saying goodbye, like a million times, but it's really interesting how [01:07:00] we say goodbye to each other.

I like how Brazilians do it. Cause they don't just wave their hand. Like, okay, bye. They, they, uh, they clasp there. They, they like bring it in, you know, like a baby does, like, you know what I mean? So it's not pushing you away. It's like actually accepting it. That's the exact word I was looking for or receiving accepting.

Yeah. And that's the way we'll close the show today and just receiving and accepting and, and just being so thankful for our companionship, who knows what we're going to talk about next week in a few days, what are we going to say? Oh, we should do video everyone. Everyone is doing that gesture. The Brazilian goodbye.

All right, everybody friends. Thank you for listening. If you want to talk to any one of us, we're all here for you. You can go to our friendly world podcast.com. [01:08:00] KJ is there, Brooke, is there Beth is there? Paul is there, there are other people there too. If you need someone to talk to, we are here at all times, right?

Everybody. Yeah, absolutely.

KJ: [01:08:13] Thank you for listening.

Fawn: [01:08:15] Thank you everybody. Thanks everybody. See you in a few days. Bye bye. Bye.

 

KJ Nasrul

psychotherapist, musician , podcast host

Kimberly "KJ" Nasrul is a licensed psychotherapist and musician nursing an obsession with words...and a gift for making grilled cheese sandwiches. She helps healers and essential frontline workers recover their resilient stories via music, art and compassionate conversations so that they can continue to uplift and heal their communities.
When she's not planning her next traveling adventure, kJ can be found on her podcast Stories of Astonishing Light jamming with musicians, artists and trailblazers about creativity and mental wellness accessibility for all communities.
KJ’s a Disaster Mental Health Responder (Psychological First Aid) and Quality Improvement Specialist for personal health privacy (so sexy, right?).

Beth Hewitt

Spiritual Performance Coach for Life and Business, author, podcast host

Beth Hewitt is a Spiritual Performance Coach for Life and Business and the Host of the Visualise You Show. She believes our past experiences hold clues to what we can create in our futures and is passionate about helping others realise the same. She specialises in creative visualisation, scripting, gratitude, and supporting others to develop a positive mindset. Her book the Power of Scripting teaches you to gain clarity and take back control of your life.