May 21, 2023

Away with the Hard Times! We're Done with YOU!

Away with the Hard Times! We're Done with YOU!

If I can reiterate the whole reason why we're here, it is to prove, to show, that we are not alone. You are not alone. Sometimes life is an absurdity, that's when you cross over into the realm of absurdity, and all you can do is just laugh at it and that's it. Sometimes everything can suck, BUT it won't always suck. YOU CAN MOVE THROUGH IT! The “sucky” times wil not last!
Things will get better.
Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends

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If I can reiterate the whole reason why we're here, it is to prove, to show, that we are not alone. You are not alone. Sometimes life is an absurdity, that's when you cross over into the realm of absurdity, and all you can do is just laugh at it and that's it. Sometimes everything can suck, BUT it won't always suck. YOU CAN MOVE THROUGH IT! The “sucky” times wil not last!

Things will get better.

Pick up a free copy of Fawn's workbook on making friends




Away with the Tough Times!

[00:00:00] FAWN: Are you ready? Oh my

[00:00:01] MATT: goodness. Did you just press the button? Yes, I did. Oh

[00:00:03] FAWN: dear. So, hello. Hi everybody. Welcome back. If I can reiterate the whole reason why we're here is to prove, to show that we are not alone. You are not alone. Now, this is coming out maybe once things have hopefully settled, but.

[00:00:25] FAWN: My goodness, this week has been insanely, uh, it is just too much, too much energy. If I can speak the woo way, how would you describe the week? It's

[00:00:39] MATT: been an emotional week, hasn't it?

[00:00:41] FAWN: I mean, that's putting it lightly. It has felt like doom and gloom. I mean, if, wow. Well, A lot of things are doom and gloom out there.

[00:00:52] FAWN: Yes, absolutely. But usually like, if you can just be able to be in your own bubble and separate yourself and calm yourself, whatever that, you know, whatever you use to calm yourself with, you can still feel a little Okay. But wow. No matter what I tried, personally, I gotta tell you, it has been, it was a crazy time.

[00:01:16] FAWN: I thought I was losing my mind. Until, um, and then I was trying to explain it. I'm sorry. I'm gonna tell you what happened, but, and then I was trying to explain it to my friend Gigi, who does not listen to this podcast. So here we go. Dow. But I'm trying to explain to her. What was happening mm-hmm.

[00:01:36] FAWN: And I said, and you know, it's been a few months since she's seen me and we were gonna do a Zoom thing. I'm like, look, before you see me on Zoom, I'm gonna, I'm gonna warn you, I've had a challenging few days. I have not stopped crying. I don't feel good. I, I don't look like myself. And so when the zoom

[00:01:53] FAWN: camera came on, I could tell. You know when someone looks at you and you're like, uhoh, the way they look at you, they're like shocked. Like, Ooh, you don't look so good. Right? And I was thinking to myself, I warned you. Why do you have to look at me like that? I warned you. So anyway, and so I was trying to explain what was going on, right?

[00:02:11] FAWN: But she was not having any of it. So she's like, it sounds to me that you have adhd. I'm like,

[00:02:19] MATT: Okay.

[00:02:20] FAWN: Okay. She was just trying to explain my emotions away. Right. And I hate it when people do that. I love her, but I hate it when people do that and say, you should be on drugs. You should be taking medication. No.

[00:02:36] FAWN: Um, so anyway, as soon as the call ended with her, thank goodness I came across, um, there's this. There's this group that I listened to it, it's actually, it's not a group, but Inspire Nation, anyone. I mean, Michael Sandler, I think I'm saying his na last name correctly. His show, his YouTube show, is called Inspire Nation.

[00:03:00] FAWN: He is amazing and lovely, very positive, a healer. He brings on really famous healers out there to explain what's going on. He does his own thing on Mondays and then on Thursdays he has guests come on. And as soon as the Zoom call for me ended, oh my goodness, I realized it was live and I had never in my life been able to catch a live video feed of his, so I did a live video feed.

[00:03:30] FAWN: I don't know what you call it. You know what I'm saying though? Yeah. And as soon as I pressed the button and was able to click in, They were talking about how everybody's been upset this week, how everybody's been crying. It's been beyond emotional that it's been so difficult. Like people are losing their minds.

[00:03:50] FAWN: Mm-hmm. They think I'm like, wow, I'm not alone. Okay. So I'm not crazy. I'm not alone. I'm not alone in this because I mean, you know when things happen, you deal with it. My phone broke, and for me, the phone is a big issue if I don't have a phone. I start panicking because, you know, the one time that we really needed 9 1 1 and I called with a phone, and ever since then I'm like, I need to have the phone for emergent, I need to have a phone at all times on me.

[00:04:21] FAWN: You know, it's now become like a psychological thing and when the phone's not there, I, I start, Panicking anyway, I'm trying to fix the phone. Bought a new phone. Very expensive for me, for us. Um, the phone comes, it's defunct. I'm on the customer phone line for seven hours and they would not help me. They would not take it back.

[00:04:46] FAWN: They would not, it, it, it is just unbelievable. I had to go get another phone and it's a, and I got it because I was still crying. I was still upset. Totally couldn't. Focus. I couldn't concentrate. I right. I was not myself. I was not able, I felt ungrounded. I don't know how you can describe it in your language, Matt, cuz I know I'm sounding very hippy and woo woo.

[00:05:10] FAWN: Well,

[00:05:10] MATT: ungrounded is something everybody understands. You know, you didn't fe you felt like you were like, I'll describe it as maybe I feel lightheaded or, you know, not in, not completely in my body. You know, like, like a stiff breeze could knock me over

[00:05:28] FAWN: feeling out of control. Like, not only are you out of control, life is out of control.

[00:05:34] FAWN: There's nothing you can do. You can't even move cup from point A to point B without it spilling. Like it's just out of control. Right.

[00:05:42] MATT: Which is so interesting because last week we were talking about trauma and when we were in certain traumatic situations, um, I felt exactly that

[00:05:51] FAWN: way. And that's another thing I'm like, oh my goodness.

[00:05:55] FAWN: Did speaking with Dr. C. Open up the can open, open up a can of warms, right? Open up something. Pandora's box. I thought I was fine. I'm like, oh, maybe, maybe something was touched. And now I'm become, I've become completely unafraid. Is that a word? Unafraid. I've become, you know, completely afraid. Afraid like nothing is holding it together, like Yeah, exactly.

[00:06:20] FAWN: No stitches. There's like, it's just torn. And then, so anyway, I found out. No, it's actually. You know, I usually take this with a grain of salt, like the whole astrology thing, but there was a full moon. There was a, some eclipse with a full moon. I don't know what. Mercury and retrograde on top of that. Yes, but like whatever it is, there was a lot happening and it was very rare.

[00:06:43] FAWN: The astrology, astrology thing, I don't know. I don't know guys. I normally don't, and I normally didn't even believe in the full moon thing that people act up during the full moon. But when I was in college, I had to take a friend to the emergency room and it was a full moon, and I took him to the emergency room.

[00:07:05] FAWN: And it was what I saw in that emergency room still haunts me to this day. And I remember I, I finally like, I was like I some, there was a nurse who was there mm-hmm. Next to me for a split second, and I'm like, what is happening? She's like, it's the full moon. It's always like this on a full moon. I'm like, what?

[00:07:23] FAWN: Are you serious? You believe in that? She's like, I believe or not believe, whatever it is, always on a full moon. It's it's way crazier. So ever since then, I'm like, okay, there's something to it, you know? But anyway, um, what was I saying? What was I saying? So all this is happening, and, and so here's the key, here's another key for a friendship though, is even if you don't have a friend, even if you see a stranger and you asked them, how, how has, how has your week been?

[00:07:57] FAWN: How are you feeling? But make it so that they understand that you're not saying, hi, how are you? Where they respond, fine, thank you. Bye. Do you know what I'm saying? Make it in a way that you are serious, right? Like what? You wanna know what their response is, right? Like, so I've been asking friends, not that many, but I'm like, Hey, what's going on?

[00:08:21] FAWN: Or I had to talk to my friend Sarah. I'm like, Sarah. I had such a great weekend with you last weekend, but then come Monday, this whole week, it's been so hard. That's why I haven't contacted you. It's been terrible. Mm-hmm. Like I don't know what's going on. And she replied and she's a major therapist, by the way, like amazing healer therapist, and she's like, me too.

[00:08:46] FAWN: All my clients, my friends', clients, everybody's really going through it. You know, so we started talking about it and we started exchanging notes. And that's the fun part when you start exchanging notes, except with my friend Gigi, mm-hmm. You understand that you're part of a collective, that we're all going through things together.

[00:09:08] FAWN: You're not alone, you're not crazy. When things like that happen all of a sudden, And it's not going for like months the the same thing. Right. You know that it's part of a collective issue. There is something happening that you are picking up on. And my friend Sarah actually described it in this way. She picked me up yesterday cuz I'm, she's like, let, let's just go out.

[00:09:31] FAWN: I'm like, okay, but are you sure? Cuz my energy's way off. Like, are you sure you wanna be around me? She's like, oh honey, don't worry about that. I don't let others, like other bubbles affect me. I'm like, okay. So we started talking and she described it in this manner, which was interesting. She said, whatever it is, like let's take it all into account.

[00:09:52] FAWN: Like for example, the astrology thing, whatever it is. It seems to me that when people who are extremely sensitive to it and get hit hard with it, Are the ones that are producing, they're, they're, oh, I wish she was here to explain the exact words. It was so brilliant when she said it. But basically, if you are offering the world something new, if you're here to produce something new, to offer something to the world, and you have a lot of it, chances are it's gonna hit you harder.

[00:10:30] FAWN: Because when things like this happen, It's like you have to get into a state of mind where you're not fighting it. Like I, when things like this happen, I get into meditation mode and I clear it. Mm-hmm. I pray for people, I clear it, I clear, clear, clear. And she said, you know, even clearing it is kind of fighting it.

[00:10:51] FAWN: So you just gotta understand what it is and just release it, release into it, which is a martial arts thing. Right, right. Because chances are it's the old that needs to come out. It needs to leave you. It needs to, something is need is needing to be done and you have to allow for it and you have to have grace about it.

[00:11:19] FAWN: You have to release. So anyway, that was the advice I got yesterday. So what is happening with you? Cuz apparently Matt over here is a social butterfly. Now, while I'm still asleep,

[00:11:31] MATT: Hey, I rode my bike for, and I went for coffee, and I met the coffee crew.

[00:11:35] FAWN: , you, you guys have coffee without me every week now?

[00:11:38] FAWN: Uh

[00:11:38] MATT: uh uh, I didn't

[00:11:39] FAWN: go last week. Okay. Okay, so, so what's your take on all this?

[00:11:44] MATT: So, yeah, so I asked the different people at the table if it had been an emotional weekend. That's all I offered. I didn't offer any specifics about our week

[00:11:52] FAWN: or anything. I mean, just a n not to interrupt you again, but just a reminder, if you guys have not been listening to us from the very beginning, I am illogical.

[00:12:03] FAWN: Matt is very logical. We're both intuitive people, but Matt is very logical. Well, there's

[00:12:09] MATT: empirical evidence if you ask.

[00:12:11] FAWN: Oh my God. Okay.

[00:12:13] MATT: So I asked, and you know, we, as human beings, we do have a habit of like focusing on like super awesome or super awful things, right? It's just kind of, it's part of our genetic makeup.

[00:12:24] MATT: But yeah, everybody said that it had been a very emotional week for them too. And one of them is a teacher. And their classroom was more emotional than usual. And I'm sure as a teacher the classroom's always emotional, but it stood out. And in point of fact, I really don't wanna dwell on this particular aspect of things, but we've had more incidents of violence in the, in the United States this week than usual.

[00:12:51] FAWN: Didn't we have 200 mass shootings in one week?

[00:12:54] MATT: No, no, no, no. It's 200 mass shootings as of now. No, there were 23 last week, so one

[00:13:04] FAWN: 10th. How is this not being at war? When I say this country's always at war, it's not just that you're going to other countries and you're fighting them. How is this not being at war?

[00:13:16] FAWN: Right. Every time I go to the grocery store, I think of, okay, if there's a shooting, where would I go? Right. You know, how is not, how is that not. Being in a at war situation right when you have to,

[00:13:29] MATT: but I don't really wanna talk too much about that.

[00:13:32] MATT: I, I really don't wanna dwell on that negative aspect of things, but I mean, everybody's feeling

[00:13:38] MATT: the impact of that, obviously. And yeah, there's been an interesting amount of emotion and for me personally, especially coming out of the trauma talk and everything else, yes, I perhaps did feel a little more frayed, but when I do, I always come back to my center. I always come back to the places that I'm strong and handsome and magnificent, and feel good about things, even if it feels like just a tiny little slice of my life sometimes. And sometimes it does. And that's because once upon a time, it felt like every aspect, but one in my life was hosed. And so I focused on that one aspect that wasn't hose, and I gradually expanded it out and I made it so my whole life wasn't. So that was very cool.

[00:14:22] MATT: But. I think I'm very atypical with regard

[00:14:26] FAWN: to that. You know, the first time we met, that's one advice that you shared with me. Yes. So Matt and I met in a martial arts school and during that time I was going through switching jobs and the job that I had was terrible and martial arts was for me,

[00:14:42] FAWN: I was crosstraining. I was cross-training in the morning and then at night after work. I would go to this martial arts studio where I met Matt, and so it was always after work and I would go in tears. Like I was still crying and I think, did I ask you for advice? I don't know what happened, but I'm like, Ugh, this is terrible.

[00:15:06] FAWN: Like everything feels bad. Right. And you said when life gets that way. You always look for the one, like you have five things. There's always one. That's okay. So focus on that one. Is that what you said to me? That's

[00:15:21] MATT: what I said. Yes. I, I think I probably said more than five because everybody, everybody is completely multi-dimensional and there can be 87 things.

[00:15:31] MATT: It doesn't much matter, but it's a question of. I always describe like the word, like always as a big word. Five letters. It's a big word though, because if you say, well, you always do this, you're saying every single time you do this, and that makes it a big word to me because it, it's kind of all encompassing.

[00:15:53] FAWN: Matt hates that word always. We can't use that around the house. Well,

[00:15:57] MATT: but when you say my entire world is, is, you know, upside down or terrible. It's, it's like using a word, like always. It's using one of those big words. People have a nasty habit of doing that. And so it, it forces, what it forced me to do was take a look at not everything, not always, not.

[00:16:15] MATT: There's one tiny slice that's cool. And so by literally focusing on that, what you focus on grows. So focusing on that aspect of things gradually expanded everything else so that everything didn't ev all of a sudden, everything. Mm-hmm. Didn't

[00:16:33] FAWN: suck. But I remember another day when you offered me another piece of golden, A golden nugget you said.

[00:16:43] FAWN: And then when everything sucks, then life is just an absurdity. Yes. And you have to laugh.

[00:16:50] MATT: Life is an absurdity , and that's the other thing we need to bear in mind. You're absolutely right. I would say that all the

[00:16:56] FAWN: time too. You would say that's when you cross over in the realm of absurdity. And all you can do is just laugh at it and that's it.

[00:17:04] FAWN: Because sometimes all of them are weird or not weird, weird is a good word. Sometimes everything can suck. Can I say that?

[00:17:14] MATT: Man? You can. And, and yeah. And literally that initial kind of kernel of thought from that comes from The Tao Te Ching which is a fascinating old book, philosophic, and they talk about how when, the wise man hears of The Tao , he follows it.

[00:17:30] MATT: Whoa. When the fool hears about The Tao , he laughs at it. Mm-hmm. But the laughter is still part of The Tao and so it's almost like you have to understand when your life is in absurdity, you're kind of a fool and you just kind of need to like laugh it off. Right. So hopefully you can at some point become

[00:17:50] MATT: wise.

[00:17:50] MATT: Right? Wow,

[00:17:52] FAWN: that's perfect, man. I wanna end the show right here. No,

[00:17:57] MATT: And that's the other thing is, you know, I've been reading now, um, What There's no good word to describe commentary is by a zen master. So I've been focusing on this lately and I think that that might have been what's allowed me to escape most of, but not all of the craze, the yeah emotionalism of the week.

[00:18:19] MATT: Cuz I've been, my brain's kind of been thinking through really bizarre issues and thoughts.

[00:18:26] FAWN: I mean, Okay. Good for you. Yes. Good for me. No, I'm glad I'm relaxed.

[00:18:30] MATT: Reading philosophy can be a very kind of self-affirming

[00:18:35] FAWN: process. Um, yeah. Well, I'm just saying. No, really good for you. I couldn't do that. I couldn't do any of that this week.

[00:18:43] FAWN: I know nothing. I know nothing was helping. Nothing was helping. Right. Until I talked to Sarah

[00:18:51] MATT: and I get that too.

[00:18:53] FAWN: But also talking to Sarah, I was kind of coming out of it, but I was still feeling it. Mm-hmm. But that definitely helped, you know? Right. But, oh my goodness. So when you're going through it, just keep going.

[00:19:06] FAWN: I mean, just know you're not alone. You are not alone. You're not the only one experiencing it. Trust me. Huh.

[00:19:16] FAWN: With that said, we're gonna keep a short one today because of the past week. I am so behind a bunch of stuff I need to do. So thank you again for listening. Please tell other people about this podcast and download. Leave some happy comments on the comment section. Leave a review, is what I'm trying to say.

[00:19:40] FAWN: That would be amazing. Again, thank you so much for listening. We'll talk to you in a few days. We love you so much. You're not alone. We're all in it together. We're all in it together. Okay? It's gonna get better. Things never stay the same. That's another thing Sarah said yesterday reminded me truth that no matter what you're going through, the hardship,

[00:20:03] FAWN: it's not gonna last. Right. Okay. Talk to you in a few days. Be well.