Reclaiming Power: From Road Trips to Fart Rays

[00:00:00] Hello? Hello, hello. I'm first La, la, la, la, la, la, la. Okay. bu, no. Menina. Menina. Menina. Do Menina.
Fawn: Okay, we're back. Hello everybody. Hello. Hello, hello. Welcome to our Friendly World. confession. 
MATT: Uh oh. Oh dear. 
Fawn: Do you ever do this like kind of bitch slap yourself? 
MATT: Never. Not even once. 

Fawn: do you ever check yourself and go, whoa, like a little slap, but not for real.
Like, check 
MATT: yourself before you wreck yourself. Mm. 
Fawn: Do you check yourself? So we were on a little road trip we were having such a nice time. It was so great. And on the way back, I was driving and We're all tired, but it was that kind of tired where you just get quiet, everybody's quiet, like you don't even wanna listen to music 
Everybody's just being, and there's just the sound of the wind. And I was starting to think I need, like wherever we go, I'm like, what can I [00:01:00] get from here? Right? I started to think, oh no. I caught myself. I'm like, wow. Even if it's going to the beach, I'm like, can I find some seashells here?
Let me take some seashells. Like what can I take? So gimme, gimme. What can I get? What can I get? Right? Even experience, like what can I get? And I realized that all of a sudden I should be going places and offering, You think, well, we are just going out in nature for a walk.
Yeah. But offering something to nature, not just taking, not just, occupying space, but what are we offering, period. What are we offering each other and what are we offering in the world and being mindful of that. Anyway, so that was my my own personal bitch thought moment.
And it made me think about power. That's so powerful when we can offer something. What happened was a huge train of thought I thought about [00:02:00] what is truly powerful? How are we powerful? And I was thinking that because in the midst of all this, I feel like we've been stripped of our power.
 It feels that way. These days there's a lot of talk about fascism and all of this, and mm-hmm. I started to feel weak. 
MATT: Right.
Fawn: And I started to think, well, how can I regain my power? And now I'm totally blanking out. But I told you about it. Matt, 
MATT: you did. 
Fawn: Can you remind me what I told you? 
MATT: Well, I'll say from personal experience, God, and I hate that I found this out, but one of my coworkers who started after, I did comment on the fact that he's had four bosses since he started.
 I get a new boss every year. Let's talk about not feeling powerful, let's talking about building that rapport and then watching it evaporate, oh my God, oh my God. And having to start basically all over again with somebody who doesn't even know you. Wow. So how, [00:03:00] how do you deal with that? How do you, what do you do with that?
And, and so it's like every single year I'm like, okay, I gotta train a new boss to understand certain things about me. Number one is I'm going to meet with you one-on-one. I don't care if you're too busy, you're gonna meet with me one-on-one at least every other week. I don't care. It's not my problem.
It's your problem. Deal with me. Why, where the heck does that come from? One of my coworkers is like, well, if he wants to meet with me, he'll meet with me. And it's like, no, no. '
Fawn: cause you're coming from it. From a powerful stance. From a powerful place. Because like for example, I've been reading this book Your Rich, rich, BFF.
 Mm-hmm. And she talks about how you should ask for raises, and you don't ask when your review is there. You should just go in and ask. I was thinking about that. Most people don't wanna do that because they're afraid that they'll get fired for even asking a question. 
Right?
MATT: Or they'll get embarrassed, like, why would I give you [00:04:00] a raise?
Fawn: I feel like when people think that when they're seen, they will be seen as a target to get fired. Right. Like, so let me just do my work, put my head down, and, they won't notice me and everything will be okay.
Right. And that comes from a powerless, a powerless, what, what would you say it was? 
MATT: We move from love, or we move from fear. That's moving from fear. 
Fawn: Yeah. That's moving from fear. Exactly. So that's my interpretation of that. Right. And you, you're like. No, we're meeting and you ask them for a review, like, no, we're gonna talk about what I've done.
Right, right, 
MATT: right. 
And, I don't even mince words. It's like, like right now he doesn't wanna meet with me. And I get that. He doesn't, he's 
busy. He 
doesn't unders Exactly. We're all so busy. So I always come up with an enticing list of things that we're gonna talk about, because I take it serious.
I take my profession seriously. I take my power seriously. I manage it and people can say, oh, you're not supposed to manage your boss. It's [00:05:00] like, okay, then have fun with that. 
Fawn: It's a relationship. It, shouldn't be a one way thing. Right for it to be powerful. Right. So that works for business as well.
It should be a two way relationship. Otherwise, your boss has all the power. 
Right. Exactly. And you're 
not seen, you're giving your power away by becoming invisible. 
MATT: Right. And when you say, oh, anything you need boss, at the same time, you're, you're giving away your power. You should be the one, I'm the one who goes to my boss and I'm like, look, these are the things I've seen.
These are the problems. This is why I make it nice and simple for him to say go do. 
Fawn: Mm-hmm. 
MATT: and there are those occasions like with my previous boss who was like, oh my goodness, the team is gelling together so well. I'm like, no, we're not. These are the things I am doing to make sure that the team gels. I am doing.
Not you. Not them, me. 
Fawn: Mm-hmm. 
MATT: And it sounds boastful, it sounds arrogant. It sounds like a [00:06:00] million things, but I've already spent the time I've put down the groundwork for him to listen to me. Right. Because I don't think of it. There's a line from science fiction show. And person A says, good luck. And person B says, you don't say good luck.
You never say good luck. You say good hunting. And there's a mind shift right there. There is a mind shift, and that's how I deal with people who don't necessarily wanna see my power. I go hunting. 
Fawn: Why are you looking at me? 
MATT: Because I'm snarling. I'm showing some teeth over here. 
Fawn: Scary. 
MATT: I'm bearing my teeth, woman.
Fawn: So, alright, so that's business. 
MATT: That's business. 
Fawn: Alright, let's bring it back to friendship. How do we do that? How do we as a, just a normal person. On our own, how can we [00:07:00] reclaim our power when it feels so dire and depressing? And you feel like even with our friends? Mm-hmm. I mean, I'm talking about society first of all.
Yes. Like when I, you know, this is why we have the Friendship podcast and the friendship movement is because when we are alone, we are powerless. 
MATT: We feel powerless. We 
Fawn: feel powerless. Thank you. 
People who will support you or even stand with you on something or anything, immediately makes you feel strong in your spine, doesn't it? Yes. Spiritually, physically, emotionally. But let's go even further back. Let's forget about everyone else for a second. How can we feel the power come back when it's just us?
For me, meditation works. And there are times when I feel so distraught that I can't even meditate. And I was reminded a few weeks ago to try listening to [00:08:00] music and having a good cry and then a good sleep like nap, right? Or, well, I can't nap, but you know, go to bed right after a good cry. That will have you regain your power, eating the right things, don't eat any garbage, 
MATT: going outside and feeling the sun.
Fawn: Yes, getting sunlight, grounding yourself. There's a whole science behind it guys. But like those grounding pads work, earthing, earthing is what it's called. Mm-hmm. It's amazing moving, moving your body screaming. 
MATT: Yeah. For me, I'll jump on.
I'll spin or I'll go for a walk or. In the times where I'm feeling especially kind of empty is how I would, I would classify it. I think about those things I've done. You know, it's literally like you kind of remove yourself from yourself, which is of course a fascinating little concept, but really going through and taking a look at the things I've done with my life, [00:09:00] 
Fawn: and then it could be something simple.
And funny to you, I have a fart ray. I will press that fart ray. It'll make these fart sounds, different kinds that are like 12 different sounds of different kinds of farts. that gives me my power back because it's humor. What else do I have that makes me feel good? I have a pen that I got from a place for like, I think it was a dollar years ago, and it still works.
 You press a button. And just like the fart ray, it has like 12 different nos, 12 different ways to say no, no, no. Uh, no. That makes me feel powerful when I can't, when I feel like I can't say no out there for some reason or I didn't say it and I wish I had. Mm-hmm. Makes me feel better.
Brings back, I collect my power. It's literally getting a hold of yourself. It, it's like the term is get a hold of [00:10:00] yourself. Pull yourself together. Where does that come from? It's where your energy gets leaked in all different directions, and you have nothing at your core. When you pull yourself together, you're, you're gathering, you're bringing back all the energy that is leaked out from you all day from someone who is mean to you, that you keep thinking about, you know, there are all these things. Someone cut you off on the road, you keep thinking about them. Someone said terrible things. You're thinking about that. Um. Terrible things on the news. You hear scary stuff, all this stuff, you're leaking energy, and at the end of the day, you're in deficit because we all wake up with a hundred energy dollars or whatever it is that we wake up with.
Mm-hmm. If more of it gets released, and I'm talking about power here, energy, then at the end of the day, you're on a deficit. You're gonna need a whole lot of stuff to make you feel whole again. If you're gonna keep living like that every day [00:11:00] with a deficit, it's a big problem.
MATT: We can also take a look and you know, when we're directly confronted with someone pointing our own, our own kind of black or, you know, um, our own, God, what's the word for it? I can't even think. Uh, our limitations are whatever we can be. Like Socrates and Socrates, when confronted with that exact same situation, founder of modern philosophy, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, said, oh man, you don't know the half of it.
He proceeded to take his power from someone who would steal it from him. 
Fawn: So like Serano de bergerac, like, oh, that's what you've got. I've got a big nose. How about, you know, your 
MATT: nose is very big. And the one I always remember, well, the couple that I remember, 'cause God knows Sno Deak is just brilliant. You know, perhaps my nose should be an [00:12:00] advertisement for a perfumery shop.
When it bleeds the Red Sea. Oh my God. Right. And then he ends it with, but because you dared to say it was big, I will retort with three simple letters for you. A SS Oh. 
Fawn: Anyway, we're digressing now. Yes, we are into the the, but it's about owning 
MATT: your power. It's about, it's about paying attention. It's about knowing who you are and you know, it's about.
That's what it's about to me. Sometimes when I feel like I'm losing my power, it's because I'll go out into nature and because I try and pay attention, I will notice changes in the world. And some of those changes are beautiful and, and sitting there and just being like, oh my God, look at, look at this.
This is intense. Maybe it's little baby, uh, baby birds. Maybe it's the, A stream is up or [00:13:00] it's down, or it's fast or it's slow or it's whatever. 
Fawn: Mm-hmm. 
MATT: So, you know, it's about opening myself up to the wonder, 
Fawn: when we feel powerful, then we feel rich. We feel like we can offer. So going to a place you automatically, I feel like just give.
Right, because it's not about, like, remember I said, oh, what can I take from the beach, you know? Mm-hmm. Oh, what can I take from this city? No, now with your power, because it's, it's more than, it's on many levels. So even if you don't like give money or you're not, I don't know. You're not physically giving a thing, 
you are offering beautiful energy. Positive energy. Good energy or energy, period, because maybe a place has, is void and needs some upliftment, needs some movement, 
MATT: needs some upliftment. [00:14:00] 
Fawn: Why are you laughing? I don't 
MATT: know if that's a word. 
Fawn: It isn't. 
MATT: I don't know. 
Fawn: Oh, well, 
MATT: and also keep in mind, sometimes one of the ways that I can get my power is by, oh my goodness, just being kind.
But like I said, anytime somebody said, if 
Fawn: you're not feeling powerful, you have nothing to give. 
MATT: Right? And, and that's just it.
 
No, nevermind. You're absolutely right. You aren't feeling powerful, so you can't do that. But then in those moments, I tend to remember the times that I did. I did feel powerful and I did throw a kindness out. Honestly, and I remember doing this, it's, it's easy to say at work because at work it's a very clear cut.
Somebody does me a solid, the first time I'm meeting with this person, if they do me a solid, their boss hears about it 30 seconds later. You know, and that's almost like, it's almost like, is it meaningless? It's not humongously meaningful, but it's still meaningful and it means a lot to that person. 'cause nobody ever [00:15:00] does 
Fawn: this.
If it wasn't meaningful, people wouldn't ask for recommendations. People wouldn't ask for letters of recommendations at jobs. I know. So it is meaningful. 
MATT: Know. And then like recently, there was an occasion where I, I had the opportunity to pay a huge compliment to one of my coworkers, and I was brave enough to do it, and it's a good thing because it can be hard sometimes.
Particularly in my field, 'cause we're all men and super smart. But to say somebody is better than you at something or to say, you and I, we compliment each other so well that, you know, I would love to, you know, if, if there ever was an opportunity for us to step into business together, we, I think we would do really well because you're strong where I'm not and I'm strong where you're not.
And that really floored the guy because nobody ever, nobody talks like that. And why not? 
 
Fawn: I have another example. We went to a couple towns over yesterday [00:16:00] and we walked into this shop. Normally we wouldn't walk in there, but they had some really pretty outfits like in the window and the kids and I got really excited.
I'm like, should we go and. Matt just did it again. He started rolling his eyes and so normally we don't go 'cause Matt, but we're like, no, let's go in there. And so we walk in and everywhere we looked it was inspiring. Maybe because we took a road trip and we had a completely different outlook on life, and life started to look good to us again.
Maybe it was that, but also this place was beautiful. And I wanna say a lot of these shops in this little town, like mom and pop places, they were extraordinary -things you would not find on Amazon, things you would not find in like any big name [00:17:00] store that's all over the country or around the world. Right.
Unique. Unique. Wow. And so, okay. We couldn't buy anything 'cause money, but, and I didn't even think about it, but I'm, I was thinking about it while you were just talking a minute ago. I offered to just acknowledge where we were. So I started to talk to one of the women there who worked there, and I didn't know if she was the owner, but I started to tell her what I thought of her place.
Mm-hmm. You know, of the place. And she's like, oh, that's her. She's the owner right here. She does that. And what I was saying was that every corner, every little thing is a masterpiece. And again, it was a clothing shop both for men and women, everything was styled so beautifully and so uniquely, beautifully put together that it was inspiring.
Like it, [00:18:00] the kids and I were just like so uplifted and so then it wasn't, we went beyond saying, what you create here is so obviously. a work of art. Everything on every mannequin, on every table is uniquely a work of art. Like if I could photograph just one thing, it's a work of art already. Like the way everything is put together, colors, everything, textures.
It was amazing. And then I went even further and I pretended that she was on our podcast and I started to ask her questions like, what's your background? I said, what's your story? How, how are you doing this and why, and how did you, what is this? What's your story? Mm-hmm. And she kind of started laughing and she got really serious and she told me her story.
She was a teacher. What did you teach? Who did you teach? You know, it like kept [00:19:00] unfolding more and more. Right. I'm like, but I sense that you work in movies or something because you obviously are an amazing stylist. She's like, well, I did that too. You know, it could have gone on and on and on. Right, right.
Guaranteed. We're coming back when there's money and we're buying stuff from her, like she's styling us. You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. Like it was just. Fantastic. And in that case, I feel like I didn't just take, you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. And I, and I know you go into a place, you're giving money, but you're taking, it's all take, take, take.
It's consuming. And I feel like at least having that thought of wherever I go, what can I get from here? I am more conscious more than ever before on how I can provide, how I can give besides money. Right. You know? That's it.[00:20:00] 
And of course, all these lead to friendship, all these examples. 
MATT: Yes. Yes. And that's something that I'm gonna want to talk about soon, but not today. 
Fawn: Alright, so are you done for today? 
MATT: I think so. 
Fawn: Okay. I think I am too. If you need us, when you need us, we're here.
Email us and we'll be in touch if you need anything, we are here. We are. Your friends. Go on. Powerful friend. You are powerful. 
MATT: You are powerful. Take a moment and think. Think about something you did that maybe you didn't think you could, or maybe it's been a while since you really thought about this thing you did.
Fawn: Go outside and claim 
MATT: your power. 
Fawn: Take a deep breath in and deep exhale. Breathe. That is power right there. Breathe breathing. Okay. Talk to you later. Be wow. Have a beautiful every day.